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lotusblossom
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:59 am    Post subject: permanant weekend only relationship Reply with quote

Anyone have a weekend only relationship which they intend to remain so and not move to being together more often?

Im interested to hear from anyone who has been able to make this work or from those who were not able to do this.
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0_equals_true
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't though personally I would not mind such a thing (although much of my Saturdays are taken up). I be for spending only some of the week together.

I think it is quite healthy IMO, people spend far too much time around each other.
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Metal_Man
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Works for me. Due to our schedules it is the only realistic option.
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makuranososhi
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The woman who introduced me to my wife has her own method; the three nights rule. Her and her partner can spend time together three nights (or days) out of the week; the rest, she needs her own space. It was hard for the guys she was dating, from what little I could observe, but she did find some for who it was a near-perfect scenario. The only challenge I see is that if the other person wants something 'more' it could threaten to derail things.


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superboyian
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you mean like only seeing on the weekend or talking to her and seeing her only on weekends?

For me, it wouldn't exactly work out for me as i would be too obsessed with my girlfriend Laughing (if I had one that is).
I would talk to her everyday and see each other in school and hang out together Razz and if we didnt see each other it would of drove us both mad...
I tried not talking to her for a day, that obviously doesn't seem to work Laughing I end up talking to her.
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odd42
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:40 pm    Post subject: oh Reply with quote

you mean a marriage where both partners work... lol
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odd42
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:41 pm    Post subject: oh Reply with quote

you mean a marriage where both partners work... lol
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lotusblossom
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

makuranososhi wrote:
The woman who introduced me to my wife has her own method; the three nights rule. Her and her partner can spend time together three nights (or days) out of the week; the rest, she needs her own space. It was hard for the guys she was dating, from what little I could observe, but she did find some for who it was a near-perfect scenario. The only challenge I see is that if the other person wants something 'more' it could threaten to derail things.


M.


yes Im sure my boyfriend does want more and will not be happy with it like that permanantly. Ive tried having him stay for much much longer at a time but it means I cant run the house or do my special interests and makes me resentful. And for all his saying he wants to live with me he gets snitty and resentful if I try running the home or doing my own thing and does not seem to be able to handle the responsibility of running a home.

I think its either just see each other on weekends (when I have the time to spoil him more) or terminate the relationship.

I can always try the relationship for just weekends and finish with him later if it does not work out.
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SilverStar
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This will work...if both partners want the same thing.
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Salonfilosoof
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If my ex and I ever get back together, I'm afraid a weekend-only relationship will be the only option for at least a year..... In spite of how much we love each other, as a Borderliner anything more serious would just be too scary for her.
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Alicyn
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Could work. My boyfriend and I have been together about a year, and we only see each other on the weekends. It's actually a nice thing because spending that interim time apart gives you the much-needed space a lot of people miss out on. As I said, it's been a year, and we've never fought. Not once. And I swear it's because this sort of schedule lets us keep our own lives, while still being together Smile
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Salonfilosoof
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alicyn wrote:
Could work. My boyfriend and I have been together about a year, and we only see each other on the weekends. It's actually a nice thing because spending that interim time apart gives you the much-needed space a lot of people miss out on. As I said, it's been a year, and we've never fought. Not once. And I swear it's because this sort of schedule lets us keep our own lives, while still being together Smile


What about your household tasks? When do you do them? I used to go to my girlfriend's from Friday evening to Monday Morning, so I would not be at home between Friday morning and Monday evening (since I wents straight from her place to work and vice versa). So I had to do my shopping, my cleaning and my laundry all after work when I'm usually way too exhausted mentally. It put a serious strain on me, which in turn affected my relationship. We eventually broke up because there was too much stress from both sides and we were suffocating each other, even though we only saw each other during the weekend.
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lotusblossom
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Salonfilosoof wrote:
Alicyn wrote:
Could work. My boyfriend and I have been together about a year, and we only see each other on the weekends. It's actually a nice thing because spending that interim time apart gives you the much-needed space a lot of people miss out on. As I said, it's been a year, and we've never fought. Not once. And I swear it's because this sort of schedule lets us keep our own lives, while still being together Smile


What about your household tasks? When do you do them? I used to go to my girlfriend's from Friday evening to Monday Morning, so I would not be at home between Friday morning and Monday evening (since I wents straight from her place to work and vice versa). So I had to do my shopping, my cleaning and my laundry all after work when I'm usually way too exhausted mentally. It put a serious strain on me, which in turn affected my relationship. We eventually broke up because there was too much stress from both sides and we were suffocating each other, even though we only saw each other during the weekend.


I would either split the tasks into smaller amounts and do them more often (eg shop 3 times a week for smaller amount/ laundry twice a week half load), get up earlier so you can do it before work or do it together at the weekend. For myself, having kids, I have to do cleaning shopping and laundry every day Mad

me and my boyfriend have split up now so the opening post is redundent (for me) now.
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Salonfilosoof
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lotusblossom wrote:
I would either split the tasks into smaller amounts and do them more often (eg shop 3 times a week for smaller amount/ laundry twice a week half load), get up earlier so you can do it before work or do it together at the weekend. For myself, having kids, I have to do cleaning shopping and laundry every day Mad


Splitting them up seems a good idea in some cases. Thanks for the suggestion.

lotusblossom wrote:
me and my boyfriend have split up now so the opening post is redundent (for me) now.


So I guess you couldn't get to make it work either?
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lotusblossom
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Salonfilosoof wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
I would either split the tasks into smaller amounts and do them more often (eg shop 3 times a week for smaller amount/ laundry twice a week half load), get up earlier so you can do it before work or do it together at the weekend. For myself, having kids, I have to do cleaning shopping and laundry every day Mad


Splitting them up seems a good idea in some cases. Thanks for the suggestion.

lotusblossom wrote:
me and my boyfriend have split up now so the opening post is redundent (for me) now.


So I guess you couldn't get to make it work either?


I didnt try going back to weekends only, I just thought about it a lot and think that we are too different and cant meet each others needs and that the relationship is not worth all the hard work it would involve to keep it going. I think I am better off to be permanatly on my own and he is better off finding someone more nuturing and giving and less difficult.
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