a buddhist perspective on AS?

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I know there are a few practising buddhists out there so I am turning to you for some help. I have difficulty interpreting what having autism means from a buddhistic perspective. More specifically I'm concerned that from a buddhist perspective my search for answers about my own nature and the nature of my suffering (as it relates to AS) is an unhealthy form of grasping. Does having autism mean that I am furter away from being enlightened? Do my problems with relating to other people and difficulty understanding other people's emotion make me handicapped regarding true compassion and leading a life that truly benefits other beings?

I know enough about buddhism to see that to some extent my worries are irrational, as buddhism is all about acceptance and awareness, but I think some examples of viewpoints would help me integrate the scattered parts of myself. (If anything, being diagnosed with AS has caused me to see non-self from a rather painful perspective).

I'm rambling, as usual, but I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts on autism from a buddhist perspective, as well as your own personal experiences, if you are inclined to share them.



added: I found this by lama Yeshe on treating mental illness, which makes a lot of sense to me. By his recommendations the analytical mind of an Aspie would actually be part of the solution.

"My way of treating mental illness is to try to have the person analyze the basic nature of his own problem. I try to show him the true nature of his mind so that with his own mind he can understand his own problems. If he can do that, he can solve his own problems himself. I don’t believe that I can solve his problems by simply talking to him a little. That might make him feel a bit better, but it’s very transient relief. The root of his problems reaches deep into his mind; as long as it’s there, changing circumstances will cause more problems to emerge.

My method is to have him check his own mind in order to gradually see its true nature. I’ve had the experience of giving someone a little advice and having him think, “Oh, great, my problem’s gone; Lama solved it with just a few words,” but that’s a fabrication. He’s just making it up. There’s no way you can understand your own mental problems without your becoming your own psychologist. It’s impossible.

Q. How do you help people understand their problems? How do you go about it?
Lama. I try to show them the psychological aspect of their nature, how to check their own minds. Once they know this, they can check and solve their own problems. I try to teach them an approach. "

I'd also like to know, because I'm interested in different cultures.

Hi. In brief; I don't think we are necessarily any further away from enlightenment than anyone else because of our syndrome. Personally, I struggle with concentration and with compassion. That just means I have to work more on those aspects.

Another type of personality might have the kindness in spades, but fails to grasp some of the 'headier' aspects of Buddhism. I understood the 'theory' stuff pretty much instantly, and you may also have this advantage.

So, I'm saying it's swings and roundabouts really.

I hope this post was helpful. If you want to compare notes, feel free to PM me. I'm no expert, but I have been a practicing Buddhist for a few years now.

I don''t know if you subscribe to the idea of reincarnation and karma, but if you do, then looking at things in the long term might help; this might not be your final incarnation, and you might not need to attain cessation this lifetime. But do as much as you can now, and accrue karma for better rebirths.

Sorry, I'm a total amateur, but here is my humble opinion ....

A lot of autistic people spend a lot of time thinking about themselves, ruminating and worrying.

You need to train your mind to focus on sensations and not thoughts; instead of worrying that people are looking at you in the street, instead focus on how sweet it is to be free, outside, walking in the sun, with a healthy body ... try to abstract your thought so that you become internally content; don't let thoughts race through your head.

What I'm trying to say, but not very well, is that gradually you can become happy with your state of being, no longer particularly worried about fashions or gossip or whatever, you accept things for what they are and you understand why things need to be, why other people need to be what they are. Eventually, maybe someday you will become so mentally contented with yourself that you start to develop an interest in others. Other people will see that you are thoughtful and sincere, and may want to make friends with you.

And again, accept them for who they are ... don't judge them on their hair or clothes ... understand that they have spirit, and seek peace with them.

This might be a controversial point, but it helps me: the worst that can happen in any given day is that you might die. But you will die one day eventually. Dying isn't so bad. If you create good energy in your life and for those around you, you can believe that you won't be reincarnated, and have to suffer the anxieties of the world for all eternity.

If you want some further discussion I have some Buddhist friends that can be asked for an advice HERE.

Loosely speaking I'm Zen Buddhist; though I am not aligned with any particular tradition. So what I say may differ more or less to what others with a Buddhist inclination may say.

To some extent the ability of those of us with Aspergers to analyse is useful in understanding the nature of our minds and how they function. However, there is a danger of falling into the "analysis paralysis" trap. Whereby we just examine and collect lots of information without it actually helping us.

If the object of the analysis is to "repair" our mind/brain and convert us into neuro-typicals it is doomed to failure.

If the object is to make us more comfortable with ourselves and to learn to accept ourselves for the way we are then the analysis can help. Since discovering Aspergers somewhat late in life it is clear that much of my personality and behaviour is governed by aspects of Aspergers. At first this can seem dehumanising and something of a blow to one's sense of self. However, now it is simply a fact, not something to be despondent about.

Better than analysis is being the "witness" or "watcher" of one's mind. Instead of collecting lots of information and analysing your behaviour simply become aware of it instead. The Buddhist practice of mindfulness is similar to this. Meditation practice can help, it allows the mind to settle down and for the background noise of endless thoughts to subside. When the mind is less chaotic you can witness thoughts arising and dissipating leading to other thoughts. Don't judge these thoughts. Thoughts are neither good nor bad, they just "are". Learn to simply be aware of your thoughts and feelings as they pass.

You are neither closer nor further away from being "enlightened" by having AS. It simply means the thoughts and other mental phenomenon you observe differ to a certain extent to that of NT's.
Suffering is suffering, whatever other labels you attach to it. Searching for answers is not a form of "grasping". Without the searching there is no understanding. Without understanding there is no peace. I'm not talking here of intellectual understanding or the accumulation of knowledge, but the questioning that leads to a deeper awareness of your true nature. Seeking for "enlightenment" because you think it is something that will remove your suffering is a form of grasping. Seeking to know your true self is not grasping.

I think that in terms of mental development, it doesn't really matter that I have an Aspie mind, because that is the only mind I know, and since it is how I experience the world, I have no other mind to really compare it to...if that makes any sense. I can only practice from that perspective. I have to work on specific things, some that are typical AS traits, but others that are personality related. In some ways, I think Asperger's makes things a little easier in that the philosophy is not a stumbling block - as in it's not daunting to delve in and everything is so reasoned that it seems to make perfect sense, like programming or math or logic. So, I don't get caught in any glitches, so to speak.

My focus on my special interests can be very strong, so that it takes over everything, so I can have trouble sometimes practicing in moderation. On the other side of that, if another special interest arises, I can be pulled away from my practice, which is counterproductive.

I do think that the active application of the various practices can help mental problems. I became a much, much happier person after studying Geshe Kelsang Gyatso's work and meditation has been the only effective means I've found for dealing with the intrusive thoughts of OCD.

Regarding compassion, I think that is a very difficult quality to develop, especially given AS. For me, it is largely intellectual, but that doesn't lessen it for me since I believe that everything is mind generated anyway. Maybe by intellectualizing everything too much attachment can be avoided...I don't know, just sort of wondering out loud...

Hope this helps.

I'm happily surprised at all the answers and I will think about all of them. Thank you Tallyman for reinforcing my belief that finding out who I am is actually good thing. Ideally I see myself progressing from this self-centered state into a state that is less anxious and thus enables me both to be happy and to be a positive force in the world.

DavidM: I do try to focus more on my experience moment-to-moment rather than people's opinions of me, and it really does make a difference. But now I worry that I'm in fact becoming attached to the experiences. I have many vivid childhood memories of true presence and awareness of nature around me, but at the same time I was oblivious to people around me or trying to avoid them. Is wanting to avoid people something I should combat in itself or rather something I should be aware of and control its consequences. (I did do a bit of mindfulness-training as part of some therapy, and that was all about NOT controlling things)

moog: I'm not sure about reincarnation. And I will admit to being very attached to life, so I actually don't want liberation.

boyakaasha: thanks for the link, I've been trying to google my way around to no end. And e-sangha.com lost all their archives

happymusic: Thank you for you input, I actually think the same way myself; that my analytical mind makes me more adept when my understanding of humans fails me. Compassion varies a great deal for me. I've always had intense compassion for all little creatures (saving spiders and wasps from being smacked as a kid) and once I understand what other people are feeling I can easily feel compassion for them. It's just that I can rarely understand what they're feeling and I also feel a distance from them that is hard to explain (people in general, that is) On the other hand I sometimes absorb other people's emotional states to the extent that I confuse them with my own. My father does that too, but he says that after learning to recognize it its made him a better psychiatrist than he would have been otherwise. Maybe by being mindful I can do something similar?

I think I have to admit to being attached to my diagnosis I want it, things make so much more sense now. Is that counterproductive?

From a Buddhist point of view, wanting or needing to avoid people isn't a problem in itself, so long as it is not a conscious deliberate decision, but rather something you do simply because you are contented with yourself and your life.

If you were constantly thinking about all the reasons why you want to avoid people, that would be different.

Are you happy avoiding people?

Do you sometimes make awkward situations when avoiding people - e.g. leaving the room if someone enters, or not saying hello, or crossing the road to avoid someone?

I reckon as long as you are at peace, then it is not a 'problem' - it is part of who you are.

But you will inevitably need people in life, even if only for everyday tasks like asking a shop assistant for a shoe in a smaller size, or to speak to family, or speak to client or colleague, etc. It's very important you learn to be 'cool' with the contact that you must have to live your life.

Another thing you might consider doing is reading a wide variety of psychological or philosophical books; you might realize that some of the things going on in your head go on in other people's too. You can share inner experiences with other people sometimes. I have a very nice psychiatrist and I can talk to him for hours because he is knowledgeable and understanding about psychiatry, which is one of my interests.

So in summary: do what feels right; avoiding people in itself is okay; but work to correct any negative consequences that might arise from avoiding contact with people you need to communicate with.

Unfortunately I do spend some time thinking about why I want to avoid people, but that's stemming from new realizations post-diagnosis so I expect I will stop thinking about it once I'm used to these new concepts. I'll freely admit to being self-obsessed right now, but I don't know how to curb it, it seems to get worse when I berate myself for it, so I figure I'll ride it out and try to limit the effects it has on people around me.

There's no need to worry or feel bad; in order to reach a 'happy' state everyone first has to go through a very intense period of thinking about everything and even being 'self-obsessed'.

Think of what you are doing as working towards your future happiness ... you won't find the answers you're seeking unless you ask.

But be patient.

I was a mess up until 2 years ago ... and my recovery is still slow, but I'm on my way.

One day you will feel just fine, too. And once you've become calm and content with your own self, the need to avoid others diminishes naturally.

davidm:

Thankyou, it makes me feel better to hear that.

After BuddhaChat, e sangha and several other forums went defunct, apart from that FreeSangha forum I already gave the link, survivors are Zen Forum International, Dharma Wheel (Mahayana/Vajrayana), Dharma Wheel (Theravada) etc.

I apparently found my way to something like Buddhism by studying the nature of time.

As an Aspie I'd say my ability for self-analysis is a benefit for such things, as is the ability to consider problems from multiple conflicting angles simultaneously.


I found myself laughing at a tree one day, spending their lives rooted in the ground, yet reaching for the sky.


Also:

This is very wise, I find it helps to practice this at night, as you're preparing to go to sleep. Lay down, get comfortable, and just start turning down the volume in your head. Even get rid of the thought that you are trying to clear your mind. Let everything go as silent as you can, just relax, find whichever ways you can to do this, you'll be much better at identifying your own thoughts afterwards.

Indeed, the worst we can do is to keep on identifying with the passing and ever changing vortices we call our "self". Meditation serves as a tool to gain a bit more objective approach so we aren't the victims of our mind and it's highs and lows any more.