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LordoftheMonkeys
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:22 am    Post subject: Aspie women in relationships Reply with quote

Has anyone else ever noticed that almost all aspie women over the age of like 16 are in relationships? I've looked at AS social sites, and it seems all the aspie women within a ten year radius of my age are either ugly or taken. People say "Well, if you're disabled, date another disabled person.", but I don't really see how.

It seems aspie girls have pretty good social skills (compared to guys), and have no problem establishing and maintaining relationships, unless they weigh 400 lbs or something. There don't seem to be any single ones. That is my assessment. Any single aspie women here willing to prove me wrong?
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Asp-Z
Clockwork Planet
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Female Aspies are usually better at socialising, that's just how the female brain is wired. They therefore have an easier time getting a partner.
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Aimless
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If what I've been told throughout my life is true, then I am not ugly or stupid or mean but I have never been successful with relationships. I have been pursued often and bedded but then dumped shortly afterwords. It is beyond me. Now that I am middle aged it's acceptable for me to be out of the game. My longest relationship was about a year and a half and produced my son, whom I treasure. I am not diagnosed but it continually amazes me the number of diagnosed people here who's social skills far outstrip my own. Go figure.
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Sivri
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've always had a lot of trouble finding a person to be with, because I don't think I am attractive at all, and it kind of shows.
But more so when a miracle do happen, I have problems with finding someone who can actually stand to be with me for longer periods of time, usually it only takes a few months before the guy is backing off. I've not been in a relationship with another aspie, but have tried a few times with a person that have had something mental. I can't say it makes it any easier, only that the persons who have something themselves seems to be more accepting and tolerant.
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LordoftheMonkeys
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sivri wrote:
I've always had a lot of trouble finding a person to be with, because I don't think I am attractive at all, and it kind of shows.
But more so when a miracle do happen, I have problems with finding someone who can actually stand to be with me for longer periods of time, usually it only takes a few months before the guy is backing off. I've not been in a relationship with another aspie, but have tried a few times with a person that have had something mental. I can't say it makes it any easier, only that the persons who have something themselves seems to be more accepting and tolerant.


Compare that to me. I have never had a relationship, ever, never mind multiple ones. Most adolescent relationships only last a few months anyway, so you're no different from most neurotypicals there.
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Daemonic-Jackal
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Women get asked out, and have far more options when it comes to picking partners, therefore law of averages state it's more likely they will be in a relationship.

The Aspie thing is irrelavent, again something else, nearly everyone on here reads far too much into.
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charade
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daemonic-Jackal wrote:
Women get asked out, and have far more options when it comes to picking partners, therefore law of averages state it's more likely they will be in a relationship.

The Aspie thing is irrelavent, again something else, nearly everyone on here reads far too much into.


I totally agree. And additionally, as far as gender roles are concerned, men are supposed to chase women. There are exceptions, of course, but in general, if a guy sits around and waits for a girl to nab him, it's less likely to happen than vice versa.

So, arguably, I think men have the odds stacked against them who suffer with social interaction, as far as casual dating goes.


Last edited by charade on Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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happymusic
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If a girl is even just decently pretty, and by that I mean mediocre, she'll be pursued. Really just hair and (sometimes) teeth seem to be the only requirement.
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trinity2883
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not single (married almost 3 years) but I can say it was difficult for me to find and settle on someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Not only was I insanely picky, but my quirks tended to drive guys off anyway. Thankfully I have a husband with a psych degree who is patient enough to put up with me. Maybe that's the key.....date psych majors.
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L3gi0n
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

trust me. it's not just an aspie or NT thing. statistically, there are more males than females, and the law of supply and demand applies.

i've discovered just about every woman i meet in my age range is either married or in some sort of relationship, which kind of limits my options. although, you occasionally find one who's involved in some way but ok with cheating on their SO, but that really doesn't bode well for any relationship you might have with her.
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Northeastern292
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I swear, I know some girls who I could swear could fit on the spectrum.
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Kiseki
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I've NEVER been in a relationship. So what's wrong with me? I can't even imagine loving someone enough to give up my free time for them. Nevermind the space of my room.
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happymusic
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kiseki wrote:
Well, I've NEVER been in a relationship. So what's wrong with me? I can't even imagine loving someone enough to give up my free time for them. Nevermind the space of my room.


hahaha - I know what you mean. When my husband and I first moved in together we had separate rooms. Then his bed was in my room. Then we got a queen sized bed and my first thought was, "oh this is not going to work".
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bewarethebob
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ive never ran into another aspie woman, really havent found any around.
However, even with good social skills sometimes there can be that one akward girl who doesnt want a bf?
like the semi asexual aspect of everything.

I wish it were easier man.

however, women have a lot of options. I mean, a lot. They choose the guy, and most of the time Ive seen, its usually pretty shallow and not really into personality [obviously this is NOT all the time, just in my encounters]

so to help, work out, get ripped like I am getting, just, do some basic things that help attractiveness, so that they see both how great you are as an attractive man, and a deep thinker
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bewarethebob
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

happymusic wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Well, I've NEVER been in a relationship. So what's wrong with me? I can't even imagine loving someone enough to give up my free time for them. Nevermind the space of my room.


hahaha - I know what you mean. When my husband and I first moved in together we had separate rooms. Then his bed was in my room. Then we got a queen sized bed and my first thought was, "oh this is not going to work".


and whoever came up with the idea to take a slow progression like that, is a genius hahaha
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