Homeschooling versus public schooling

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I'm curious about what everybody's thoughts are on what the pros and cons are of sending children with aspergers to public school or letting them be home-schooled (Assuming the homeschooling teacher is competent.). I read online that home-schooled children, on average, are better psychologically, socially and academically well-adjusted than similar-age peers in the public school system. One might infer this is because the constant interaction and popularity contests ends up dragging people down, in which case, it seems like someone with aspergers would definitely be better homeschooled as they'd probably be at the losing end of the popularity contests in school (And being bullied and teased). But, it could be that most homeschooled children just happen to come from more well-to-do-families and children from those families are better adjusted regardless, so it might be that homeschooling might not offer any 'real' benefit for students, as far as "social adjustment" goes.

So, what are your thoughts?

Well, there was a time--about a year ago--when I thought that home schooling was better for my son, who is 15 and has aspergers,ADD and OCD. We switched last year from a huge public high school to the "independent study" program in the school district, which is like home schooling except that there is school district oversight, with regular assignments, appointments with teachers, grades, etc. But now I wish he was back in a regular school. Why? Because school was his main social outlet except for his online computer games. Now he is too isolated. When a person is isolated their mental health takes a hit. Plus, he has now almost no exercise. He sits in his room for hours on end and I can't get him to leave.

I havnt read any studies but Im not sure its better socialy. Even for an NT. For us I think it would be a little like keeping someone away from books because they're dislexic. it might be easier in the short term but they need the exposior.

When I was home-schooled, I had regular extracurricular "art class" and "dancing class" activities which was a social outlet and we got together with other home schooled families for get-together time. I think these less-pressured social interactions is probably what enables better social adjustment and fosters better mental health.

Btw, your avatar's kitten is sooooooo adorably sad looking! I just want to cheer him up.

I'm divided. On one hand, a lot of aspies will get more rejected than the typical kid. This chews up your confidence. So public schools can leave you psychologically damaged for life.

On the other, how can you learn about people without a variety of exposures? Your parents and can't replace that. A lot of social common knowledge is picked up through your peers. And people still expect you to have that background knowledge after high school. Plus, coping with rejection takes practice, and being in an environment that's logical and accepting could make you forget how stupid and crass the world is, which you'll have to deal with eventually.

No easy answer, my friend.

I think it depends on the child. Some children with AS enjoy going to school even if they have problems there, and others find it hellish and unbearable.

Socially it depends on the child and the mix of kids at the school. Unless you live in a very remote place, you'll probably find many social environments of much higher quality than public school. I think I have saved my son from much social damage by homeschooling him. He gets tons of good social opportunities: Play dates, neighbor friends (we are lucky here), basketball, tennis, co-op classes, church groups, science olympiad, art classes, etc.

I am right looking into putting him in school b/c I'm not sure I am getting the best out of him academically. He might work harder for other people. He resists doing work at home.

Last edited by aann on 03 Nov 2011, 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If my parents didn't take me out of public school when they did or waited any longer, I probably would have commited sucide by sixth or seventh grade and to this day I can't watch movies or TV shows that take place in school setting. I had a HORRIBLE flashback from a simple Sonic the Hedgehog comic that took place in school setting. I have nightmares all the time.

I'm considering it just now (and I have been for a while). There a few issues specific to my daughter, which I don't think her school is able to deal with adequately. But, even if my child was NT, I may have considered it anyway. I'm reading 'How Children Learn' by John Holt and it makes a lot of sense. He talks about how children learn best when they are learning about something they are interested in (obvious yes). So for a child who can't read, learning about (for instance) dinosaurs will lead on to learning to read, in order to find out more about them. He says the teaching of reading is too structured - we learn to read best by reading, not by learning the multiude of rules first. As far as I can see, my daughter is mainly being taught reading and writing in the boring fashion. I'm trying to make it interesting at home, but she's often unwilling, after a whole day at school.

Yesterday, she came home from school with the Golden Book. Whenever a child produces some work which they put a lot of work into and the teacher thinks it's worth a lot of praise, they write a para in the book and the child gets to bring it home for comments from themself and parents. I had a look through the book and the comments about the other children's work were like 'good addition work', 'excellent spelling today', etc. But, my daughter's was somewhat unusual. As it was Halloween, the class had been asked to write a magic spell. Of course, Little Miss Different came up with the most wonderful spell. She got praise for its originality. In the process, she was practising her writing and spelling, not to mention using her imagination. As far as I'm concerned, there's not enough of this kind of learning in her school.

Home-schooling can be tailored to the child too. My daughter loves fantasy, animals, aliens, science and dinosaurs. But, another child might fare better with vehicles or princesses or Disney, whatever. How can you please everyone, when there are another 30 kids in the class?

I also worry about the lack of sunlight my daughter gets all day. We live in Scotland and get little enough as it is. If she was here with me, we would be outdoors much more often - lessons in the garden or parks.

As for socialising, she doesn't do much of that at school anyway. Most of her socialising is done at things I take her to or when friends come for playdates.

All I need to do now is to persuade my husband.

My son (4 yo) has classic autism and he's mainstreamed. I think it's good because he can increase his social interaction. He has and aid (a psychologist) who helps him making friends. He also can practice language. He's happy to go to school but if in the future he doesn't want to go or he's bullied, I should consider homeschooling.

Exactly this. Public school has been good for my sons so far. I don't think we could have come anywhere near replicating the variety and intensity of social experiences that it has exposed them to, and the school that they attend is a good fit with excellent Aspie-friendly attitudes and policies. One of my sons is doing better socially than anyone would have ever predicted. He enjoys going to school to see his friends, and would consider home schooling a terrible punishment. Our other son is not doing particularly well socially, but there is no bullying or exclusion, he just can't connect with the other kids. However he is doing very well academically, because he has an excellent teacher who inspires and encourages him. He finds a great deal of satisfaction in school because of his academic successes. They are both currently in grade 6.

I am very glad to have the option of home schooling, and would pull my sons from public school if their situations there got to the point where the negatives outweighed the positives. I could easily see this happening in the high school years.

I don't think this is a "one size fits all" issue. It depends on the child, the school and the parents in each individual case.

Are you serious? I am so sorry.

What a horrible school experience you must have had.

By the way, I have a little Post Traumatic Stress Disorder going, too. I had uncontrolled seizures for 8 years finally cured by surgery. I was okay while it was going on (probably due to large amounts of anti-seizure meds and keeping myself busy). However, afterward, especially after getting off all the meds, I started to have a little of the PTSD. Movies where someone is being chased or fighting monsters upset me. I had nightmares right after the surgery and I started to get off of meds, but don't anymore. (The surgery was back in 2000).

I practically homeschool my older son with classic autism even though he attends regular school. The two main reasons that he attends school are for the social interaction and in order to give me a break. (Otherwise I end up with a high functioning 7-year-old with classic autism and a 4-year-old aspie at home at the same time all of the time, and I don't get enough rest and "me" time. Also, my younger son really benefits from having one-on-one attention).

The main problem with my older son's attendance at school is that he learns a lot better at home where he can get all of the visual aids, repetition, simplification of lessons, and individual attention that he needs for academic success.

I may consider trying homeschool at some point if extra tutoring after school, on weekends, and during the summer is no longer enough to keep him reasonably on grade level or if he ever starts getting abused in some way due to his differences.

My son age 13yrs is on mid term told me tonight he doesn't want to go back to school, I have suggested home schooling but he declined.

He is very active in sports which I know is usual for those on the spectrum, he does most of his socialising there. He is very popular because he is a good athlete, he doesn't have a close friend but is known and at times looked up to by others by his accomplishments in sport.

But overall he is still very much on his own, this mask his social problems and I think makes it even more difficult. I don't know what to do, but I feel he will be a drop out if I don't find a solution.

You mean unusual. Active maybe, not athletic. Not in my experience with people on the spectrum, at least!

You're son seems to have enough going for him that he can weather this. A lot of kids that age might go through a phase where they want to drop out, but stick it out anyway.

My daughter is also athletic (not just active). She's always been advanced in her physical development, even though her gait is slightly gangly. She's a great swimmer and runner, but doesn't like team sports. She's the best athlete of any kid her age (almost 6), that I know of (I'm not meaning to be boastful, many others have commented on her abilities, it's just the way it is).

Roger Bannister is the ultimate example of an athlete thought to have Aspergers.