People often hide there true feelings from others

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So I was reading a bit through "Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships" and I came across this very rule I put in the title. And this was the very rule that drove me haywire paranoid throughout the last 4 years of college because I completely took it too literally and was crazy thinking that people were always hiding that they truly hated me. Then it has only been recently when im slowly learning how to think in shades of gray that while its true, people are rarely completely fake to each other. There's certain gestures which people do to show if they like someone and if they dont. It took me 4 years to learn this.

One way my friend told me once was that, "even if we were married, he wouldn't tell what he truely thought of me." So in more of a general sense, people aren't completely two-sided. When they are, there evil(or I think so).

So has this social rule ever driven anybody else completely crazy as well?

Edit #1: Unfortunately the book only enforces the constructs of the rule and it does not go into how to the deal with the paranoia of being aspergers and knowing this. "I'm aspergers, I dont read social cues, ahhhh I couldnt read that, what did they say......yyyyyyy!" I simply learned this rule after I learned a particular friend in HS admitted to me she was being fake after being exasperated with me that fact that I kept thinking she was the happiest person on earth. In reality, she was on anti-depressants and she would insist on acting happy all the time.

Yes, this has and continues to bug me on a daily basis. I'm a bit on the paranoid side as it is, so I always worry that they're being nice for ulterior reasons. Or that they're just pretending to be nice, or that their compliments are not genuine, but according to these people, they wouldn't bother doing as much as they do if they didn't actually like me.... I still find it hard to believe though...

It's so wicked, isn't it? I just choose not to trust/care about people at all or make sure I think of them worse than they do about me.

I never knew people did that often. But I don't care what people think of me or if they like me or not. I have always known as an adult, grown ups will be nice to people even if they don't like them because it's the way it is in society, the rules, only as*holes wouldn't follow it and they will treat you bad if they don't like you. It's something my mother taught me growing up and watching the movie What Women Want and since I didn't care, I didn't get all paranoid because I don't care. So maybe I instinctively knew it existed, I just wasn't aware of the rule being spelled out. I was aware of the actions, not the words.

It still freaks me out when I try to fathom how much people lie to make themselves sound better and stuff.

I used to know someone who was a pathological liar, in contrast to my stark honesty and pretty much inability to lie. When I think about it, it makes me feel so icky, like... do you realize how many times people's lies are compounded with lies in response, so with every addition to a conversation, we move farther and farther away from the truth? It's hard to explain. But I mean, like, if someone tells me a story that is exaggerated and didn't really happen to them, and I comment on it, then they respond to the comment still pretending the story is true, etc... by the end of the conversation I will feel like I got to know the person, but really, I didn't learn ANYTHING about them. All I learned was a lie.

Anyone know what I mean? I hate it. It makes me not want to talk to people.

I try when I meet people or some that I known for minute(usually not much after that because they are heading for the door) that they need to be honest with me about what they are feeling and tell me if I over step any boundaries. I tell them that I am ok with them being that honest because I will not get it any other way and I have a lot people tell me they have no problems being honest and up front but I find that most who even say that they r real honest about what they want and need r not as honest as honest as requesting them to be. They always seem to be holding something back. This frustrates me to no end because I cannot change what I do not know and I want to be better so I can have friends but a lot of what I deal with lies outside my ability to see socially. Then because they are unable to be honest and help me change or become more aware of what I doing they leave. This has happen over and over again.

Do you guys look directly into people's eyes? It can help somewhat because I've found it's the window into their soul. I didn't used to do it but I started and it made a world of difference in connecting with people and knowing a bit of what they are feeling. If you know what they feel, then you have an idea of if they are being fake.

^that's impossible half the time, turns out people are scarily good liars

OP i'm confused if you're talking about being two-faced and pretending to like someone when you don't; or if you mean things like putting on a brave face and prentending not to like someone when you do

If I showed my true feelings, I'd walk around depressed all day. We've all got to put masks on for the external world, Aspies and NTs alike.