Asperger's Severity: Part 2: Absent/Abusive Parents

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I've seen some interesting threads and comments over the last week or two, that I thought would be fun to experiment and elaborate upon. All of these threads or comments remarked on differences in severity across those diagnosed with AS.

This is the second of two polls on the subject, each looking for different correlations. The first poll is related to co-morbid conditions and how they effect one's ability to function; this poll is related to absent or abusive parents.

For the sake of this poll, I'll be using the non-clinical terms of Mild, Moderate and Severe to describe severity of one's symptoms. These terms will mean the following:

Mild: you could or do live on your own with little or no assistance.
Moderate: you could or do live on your own, but with daily or weekly assistance.
Severe: you could not live on your own.

When I say 'absent', this means that you lived with your parents, but they were distant or aloof, and you were left to care for yourself; 'abusive' can mean physically, mentally or emotionally.

If you're willing, please post which option you selected, and elaborate.

Thanks for participating!

I chose severe and absent/abusive parents because I can't live on my own (and never have) and I was adopted at age 16. My parents of origin signed away their rights when I was 8 and I was a ward of the state until I met my to-be-adoptive parents at age 14. My childhood consisted of abuse, neglect and abandonment. I was "rescued" by my adoptive parents and we're only just now finding out about my autism. Funny enough, I believe I have been adopted by fellow Aspies! Always felt connected to them in a special way.

I think my autism would be less severe had I undergone proper intervention as a child but that would've probably also compromised my current understanding. Two decades of soul-searching has been profoundly transforming and I wouldn't trade it for anything at this point.

Thanks for doing this poll I'm interested in the results too!

I picked the second option. My parents weren't abusive in my early years, though they become a bit abusive later on. My mother sometimes nagged me too much in my childhood I think, and my father become somewhat verbally abusive in my teens. Overall, I think they are far from being really abusive in the sense of the word we use.

Where's severe with non-abusive parents? I can not (I have tried and failed badly) to live on my own at all unless I have assistance.

Mild with none abusive parents. Though I felt later on they abandoned me when I was 16 and before that, mom get mad at me for my anxiety. Before my AS diagnoses, mom get mad at me for anxiety and not acting my age, didn't like me playing with the younger kids, got mad at me for my obsessions and try and get me to stop them by taking them way, get mad at me for my sensory issues. I wouldn't say that was all abusive because she was just ignorant then. I probably would have been more severe if they were not supportive and never tried hard at understanding me. Plus she lets me be and now she gets on my back sometimes about how to live my life and function so I don't really tell her.

Mild, with non-abusive parents. My parents yell at me sometimes, but not to the point where I would consider it abusive.

My dad was largely absent and my mom physically and emotionally abused me until I moved out/was threatened with being kicked out at 19.

I went through a lot of therapy and psych hospitalizations and finally came to a point where my dad and I are off and on, sometimes connecting, sometimes not, and I have a good relationship with my mom now.

I believe both of my parents have autistic traits. My dad is sound sensitive and my mom stims, and neither of them socialize or make friends easily. They just don't have friends. My mom had one friend when I was growing up, but my dad doesn't have friends. I've never observed them socializing.

So I voted moderate, with abusive/absent parents.

Mild, absent. When I was younger I lived with my mom, with little contact with my dad. My mom began having mental issues (schizoaffective disorder) and for a while she wasn't there mentally, then I was moved to my dads custody.

Ok, there appears there might be a correlation between severity and abuse, but even if there is it is unclear which one may lead to what.

What do you choose if you have great parents but were abused by others? (In my case it was foster siblings.)

Voted option 5. I think absent and abusive parents DEFINETELY play a role at the VERY least! I have ranted enough about this here. Thank you for recognizing "absent " and "abusive" as emotionally abusive or absent rather than something dramatic like leaving you laying alone by the side of the road or hitting or kicking you.

Suprised that so many people said that their Asperger's is so mild. I'm sure mine would get better if only I had a loving home rather than a psychologically dangerous home!

Mild, none abusive parents. My mum does yell quite a bit though and has become more of a psycho b***h the last few years, but she's still brought me up ok.