Social Groups

Post Reply New Topic

In 1 hour and 10 minutes I need to leave for my first evening at an AS social group. I want to go because I want some support with getting my diagnosis, but I'm starting to panic now. I saw my GP this morning about getting assessed for AS so I was focussing on the anxiety from that. Now I'm panicking about the group and don't really want to go.

I've looked the place up online and there's a picture of it on the website, but I'm worried because I don't know what's happening when I get there, or if anyone's going to talk to me.

Has anyone been to a similar group? What happens?

I was nervous when I first started going to my AS social group for the same reasons and eventually I felt more at ease and they felt more at ease with me-it took a little time-take your time and observe how everything runs and the various things going on around you and try to feel at ease-remember everyone there more than likely felt the same as you do when they started going to the group. Our group plans activities and get togethers for the upcoming months and there are refreshments and socialization of many levels and to your comfort level and the facilitator is very good at making people feel at ease.

I tend to dislike AS specific groups because they tend to put too much focus on the disability. It's nice to be able to relate to people who have experienced similar things but I don't want that to be the sole focus.

When I'm with my aspie friends we never discuss our conditions. We socialize in our own aspie language and have interesting conversations. It feels a lot less awkward that way. Support groups just don't work for me.

I've been to AS groups but I don't really like them.

If I knew your age, I would be able to give more specific advice but here is some general advice...

I was very nervous when I started my ASD social group for exactly the same reasons. Other people there may not talk to you instantly but try to appear friendly and try to sit near a large group. Often, people who exclude themselves do so deliberately because they aren't really so interested in socialising so, don't sit alone in a corner! Of course, you should talk to the people who prefer to sit alone but it may be wise to do so once you have properly established yourself as a member of the group. As I stated above, I was very nervous about going to a social group but I have made many friends through it and I highly recommend such groups to any lonely Autistic person.

A lot of the information above may be irrelevant to you but if it is relevant, I'm happy to help.

Good luck! Be sure to tell us what happened!

I'm back - it was awesome!

I was almost going to chicken out but I decided I'd stop to get something to eat on the way, so I just kept thinking "You're only going to Greggs. That's as far as you've got to get." and it's a drop in, so you don't have to turn up at a specific time which meant I could leave the house when I felt I was ready.

I turned up and spent about 20 minutes panicking, texting my boyfriend about how scared I was, trying to get up the courage to ring the number to let them know I was there. The woman I'd been emailing came out and bought me in. She gave me a tour and said that I didn't have to go into the kitchen (where everyone was) if I didn't want to. There's also a sensory room (not as good as at my work, but it's a quiet place) where you can shut the door and be quiet.

I stood in the corner of the kitchen with a drink and turned very red. The lady introduced me to someone who is a year younger than me. I didn't say much but this guy talked to me about dates of birth, then introduced me to someone with the same name as me, who talked a lot as well, and we found out:
We have the same name
His birthday is 6 days after mine
I live where he used to live
He lives where I used to live
So I stuck with him and sat and ate some of my food that I'd picked up, and drank 2 mugs of juice and 2 mugs of lemonade because I was nervous. I listened to people talk and the other worker asked me about my job etc. I didn't contribute much to the conversation because it was about things I didn't know about (American Constitution)

Then we went and watched people on the Wii and played Uno (I lost both times) and I spoke a bit more about my other job.

Overall everyone was really nice. I've never been in a place where I can just get up and leave a conversation if I want to, don't feel pressured to contribute to a conversation, and can flap/rock/make noises etc if I want to. It's the first time I don't feel absolutely exhausted after social interaction.

seaturtleisland - I agree and was worried this might be the case, but it wasn't. I only heard the word "autism" mentioned a couple of times when someone was asking if anyone knew where a support group (with "autism" in the title) met. Otherwise it wasn't mentioned at all.

I think I'll definitely go back next week