I Feel I Don't Belong Here, or Anywhere, Really...

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OMGitsKenny
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06 Dec 2012, 11:12 pm

I've noticed something about myself the past few days. Though I have become somewhat of an extrovert, I still feel as though I'm just yelling into an empty room most of the time. This happens both the outside world and WrongPlanet; I try to be sociable in both here and out there, but it's like my words have no meaning; like I'm some sort of whackjob that just blabs stupidity and that's it. I feel like an outcast, even on a site that caters to people like me with ASD, AS, and the like. It feels like I don't even belong or even wanted on this site or even outside. In reality I just want to feel wanted for a change... I just don't know what to do :/


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frostbite
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06 Dec 2012, 11:36 pm

Now that is just tragic. Socially awkward aspies makes me sad. An aspie feeling like an outcast among aspies is heartbreaking. I'm here if you want someone to exchange some PMs with.



OMGitsKenny
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06 Dec 2012, 11:50 pm

Sure... :/


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Evinceo
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07 Dec 2012, 1:06 am

This is a forum-sociable people get ignored. Find a post that makes you angry, and respond in anger.



OMGitsKenny
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07 Dec 2012, 1:13 am

Evinceo wrote:
This is a forum-sociable people get ignored. Find a post that makes you angry, and respond in anger.


I rarely get angry, plus I see no sense in arguing over the internet.


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caissa
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07 Dec 2012, 1:49 am

I always feel like a stranger in a strange land. For many years I would try to belong to one group or another or would get all excited about finally belonging somewhere, only to realize I don't belong at all. Never belonging anywhere isn't that bad once you get used to the idea. Try to forge out a few relationships even if they aren't perfect. Have some kind of social contact every day even if it's minimal. Don't isolate yourself intentionally. And don't do anything dangerous or extreme to try to belong. I actually converted to a different religion and have done some other kooky things because I thought it would make me belong to this group or that group... but it didn't.



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07 Dec 2012, 2:18 am

I sense people come to WP to work their life out. Often I sense people find connection and belonging, but often this is just fleeting.

I often feel WP is the wrong planet for me........I will spare you the long list, yet I sense most here have an equally long list of reasons way WP does not meet their deepest needs.

Perhaps the deeper question is why we keep coming back after swearing to leave?......i sense for many it is loneliness.

And why do we allow our neurological difference to make us feel like we are on a wrong planet when the reality is we are all humans and our humanity is always compromised when out of fear we cultivate a mindset of us and them?



Krabo
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07 Dec 2012, 2:56 am

quaker wrote:
Perhaps the deeper question is why we keep coming back after swearing to leave?......i sense for many it is loneliness.

Or sheer unability to make decisions. – I've been a member for about a month now, which isn't quite yet the typical span of time for me. However, these forums are entirely different from those I've visited earlier (not necessarily Aspie-related). But some day I'll leave, or rather dissolve away.



feddup
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07 Dec 2012, 3:37 am

I could be honest with OP, but that would be just rude. Or maybe it's not rude to call someone immature. Or yes it is, when you don't know the age. I sense it is the answer to your worries, though.

WP is not some miracle-cure. It attracts a hefty range of psychological disorders and include affected environment. I don't know if there have been or if there are statistics, but I highly doubt more than 10% of this community are autistic. Like always, we are thrown together with all kind of psychological disorders.

Who said autism is a psychological disorder? A NT.

It's not only a community for autism and Asperger. It's also a online resource. I rarely visit this site. There is nothing for me here. Can only thank WP for telling there are actually people like me on this planet.

If I wanted to hear NT's lack of perspectives I could be anywhere else.
Sure helping desperate parents are nice, but that's not why I'm here and the NT's don't listen anywhere else so why would they here, anyway?



OMGitsKenny
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07 Dec 2012, 5:11 am

feddup wrote:
I could be honest with OP, but that would be just rude. Or maybe it's not rude to call someone immature. Or yes it is, when you don't know the age. I sense it is the answer to your worries, though.

WP is not some miracle-cure. It attracts a hefty range of psychological disorders and include affected environment. I don't know if there have been or if there are statistics, but I highly doubt more than 10% of this community are autistic. Like always, we are thrown together with all kind of psychological disorders.

Who said autism is a psychological disorder? A NT.

It's not only a community for autism and Asperger. It's also a online resource. I rarely visit this site. There is nothing for me here. Can only thank WP for telling there are actually people like me on this planet.

If I wanted to hear NT's lack of perspectives I could be anywhere else.
Sure helping desperate parents are nice, but that's not why I'm here and the NT's don't listen anywhere else so why would they here, anyway?


It's true I act slightly immature for my age, and I do have valid reasons on why I act younger than I am. That, however, is a subject best left for another time.

I didn't come to WrongPlanet to find some 'miracle-cure.' In fact, the one reason I joined here was the fact that there were people like me and connect with someone on here. (which, of course, drove me to write this out. Frustrations built and tonight I needed to talk to someone) I came to speak with people like us, being able to joke around, share minds, learn from each other, and the like. It's perfectly fine if you see nothing to this site; some don't, but I'm not judging. You have your reasons and I have mine.

With me, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Though I do see the pessimistic views you laid out, NTs are still learning more every day about it and try to see the individual with it and work with them. The problem is getting the right people to fully understand it. The truth is no one really does except for the ones that have it, but it also takes us to show them what our worlds are like from our perspectives. The only thing they can do really is guess. Sometimes it takes a few wrongs to actually get it right.


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Joe90
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07 Dec 2012, 1:18 pm

OMGitsKenny wrote:
I've noticed something about myself the past few days. Though I have become somewhat of an extrovert, I still feel as though I'm just yelling into an empty room most of the time. This happens both the outside world and WrongPlanet; I try to be sociable in both here and out there, but it's like my words have no meaning; like I'm some sort of whackjob that just blabs stupidity and that's it. I feel like an outcast, even on a site that caters to people like me with ASD, AS, and the like. It feels like I don't even belong or even wanted on this site or even outside. In reality I just want to feel wanted for a change... I just don't know what to do :/


It's OK, love, I can sympathise. I feel the same, except I'm not an extrovert. I feel I don't really belong that much here on WP, I do have a habit of expressing my feelings too much and when I'm feeling worried about something it always does me good to write about here where other people may feel the same way, but I got told to grow up (in a nasty way) so yeah, that's what I get for writing a post here. I usually say that if people can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. When I'm in a bad mood and on the verge of an outburst, I usually verbally abuse myself, never innocent people here.

Sorry, the ranting wasn't aimed at you, I was just saying how I feel here. I feel I'm not wanted either. If you feel this way here too, don't be afraid to PM me. I will always listen, even if you want to rant repetitively, there is nothing wrong with it. And remember, you are not alone.


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07 Dec 2012, 2:28 pm

I would not eggspect much social connection from an online forum. I have been here a year and a half, and I am not here to socially connect with other autistic people. I am here to read and post about the topic of autism, which is one of my special interests. I suggest that the OP stay on WP, lower social eggspectations, and read and post on topics of interest.



envirozentinel
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07 Dec 2012, 3:32 pm

Hi Kenny you sound like a nice guy to get to know, the reason I joined is to communicate, as well as garner info about the spectrum in order to compile a book about AS/autism because I want to help those like ourselves by writing about my life experiences (I was only diagnosed about 3 years ago). I also want "NT's" to understand us better by means of such a book. (Just at a planning stage at the moment).

Since being diagnosed it has helped me greatly - I'd never heard of Aspergers until 3 years ago and had no explanation for my oddness.

Friends from my school came forward on FB to say sorry for treating me so badly back at school... and I attended my reunion last year for the first time ever!



OMGitsKenny
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07 Dec 2012, 5:14 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
Hi Kenny you sound like a nice guy to get to know, the reason I joined is to communicate, as well as garner info about the spectrum in order to compile a book about AS/autism because I want to help those like ourselves by writing about my life experiences (I was only diagnosed about 3 years ago). I also want "NT's" to understand us better by means of such a book. (Just at a planning stage at the moment).

Since being diagnosed it has helped me greatly - I'd never heard of Aspergers until 3 years ago and had no explanation for my oddness.

Friends from my school came forward on FB to say sorry for treating me so badly back at school... and I attended my reunion last year for the first time ever!


That's a very cool thing you're doing, creating literature for everyone to see through the eyes of one of us. When you do get it published, I'll definitely pick it up :)

That's also cool you were able to go to your reunion. Me, unfortunately, won't ever go to one of mine. I went to a school of ignorant hicks, and used my oddness as a bullying tool. My high school can rot for all I care at this point


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MagsMorrigan
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07 Dec 2012, 6:33 pm

Hi.

*shuffles toe in the dirt*

I was thinking about making a thread in here asking for theories on why Aus/AS (I hate all the names, honestly, and prefer just NA or neuro-atypicals :P ) people don't trust. Then I realized that was bloody stupid of me, because everybody doesn't trust. We just tend to wonder why more than NTs, I think.

Then Pinkie Pie totally distracted me and I ended up here.

So. Hi.



OMGitsKenny
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07 Dec 2012, 6:42 pm

MagsMorrigan wrote:
Hi.

*shuffles toe in the dirt*

I was thinking about making a thread in here asking for theories on why Aus/AS (I hate all the names, honestly, and prefer just NA or neuro-atypicals :P ) people don't trust. Then I realized that was bloody stupid of me, because everybody doesn't trust. We just tend to wonder why more than NTs, I think.

Then Pinkie Pie totally distracted me and I ended up here.

So. Hi.


Hiya! Welcome to WrongPlanet! :)


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Okay people, bring me a spatula, some tanks, and an anenome! Sh*t's gettin' real tonight!
SKYPE meh!: thegreengiddly