Will there ever be a cure for AS?
I hate it so much. I'm 23 and just got a gf, and it was only for my looks. Luckily, we've come a long way after months of fighting and she understands me. But what happens if one day she leaves? I will not find another gf, ever, and its long distance so we see each other like twice a year.. I'm so depressed, I can't hold a job, I'm obsessive, I think too much, I hate myself(how can I expect someone else to love me when I hate myself). I wish I was dead. AS has ruined my life. Never got to do anything with it. Other kids graduate HS(i didnt) lose their virginity in teens, graduate college and move on. I havent done anything with my life. I am so depressed and feel like eating a bullet. I wish there was a switch I can turn it off. My life is a living hell.
Thelibrarian
Veteran
Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
At this point in time, a cure is academic, since autism research only receives a pittance compared to AIDS research.
In the meantime, which will likely be a long time, I would advise you to do your best, and not beat yourself up if things don't work out. And if things don't work out, I would further advise you to learn what you can from the experience. We pay dearly for our mistakes and flaws; we might as well get out of them what we paid.
How would you feel if you had never heard of AS and didn't know such a thing existed?
What would you blame your foul attitude on then?
Or would you just get on with life and make the best of whatever comes?
'Cause there have been millions of people who have lived with the same handicaps who never had a diagnosis to blame it on, they just had to press on and manage.
But you're right, you do obsess and think too much. If this is how you are when you HAVE a girlfriend, sheesh. What's the point in wishing things were better when you refuse to enjoy the good things you already have? Can you not see how illogical your logic is? You think you only have the girl you have because of your looks, but if you lose her, you're certain you'll never meet another girl who will like you. Duh. If your looks attracted one, they'll attract another. As for losing the girl you have, well, I won't blow smoke up your skirt about long-distance relationships, but I won't speak for her. If anything drives her away, it will be your bitter self-loathing. Nobody is going to want to be around a curmudgeon in constant despair that the end of the world is imminent and unavoidable. Lighten up, for your own sake.
You are ONLY 23. It's stupid to make pronouncements about the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Trust me on this, you HAVE NO IDEA what life has in store for you over the next 23 years, or after. But what will make those experiences positive or negative depends almost entirely on HOW YOU CHOOSE TO PERCEIVE THEM. If you think everything's going to suck, it most assuredly WILL. If you believe there's hope that there will be some good, some not-so-good, mixed with moments of joy, that will be reflected in the experiences you have. Most of what happens around you, with you and to you is neutral - how it feels and how it works out depends largely on the lenses through which you CHOOSE to view it all.
Read Richard Bach's short novella 'Illusions.' It's a very succinct illustration of how to adjust your thinking in order to change your personal reality.
Hey! at least you got a gf. I am 42 and still have yet to see that happen. I know how you feel. I deal with the same thing. Most of the time I feel like a prisoner of my own mind.
In my opinion, even if there WERE a cure for it, I do not think that I would take it. ASD DOES make things hard, really hard, and I only just recently found out there was a name for what I was experiencing. But looking at how AS has truly affected me,it makes up such a large spectrum of who I am, that if one day I woke up and it was gone, I don't know that I would like the new me.
I'd rather stay the Aspie that I am. I've been hurt by many NTs in my life. I wouldn't feel honoured if I was offered the cure. I'd feel insulted, because it would mean that the person who'd be offering the cure would be saying, "Become like me and than you will be accepted." I don't wish to become like the people who have hurt me the most. I want to stay the accepting, gentle and sensitive soul that I am.
_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?
I agree with others here that negativity is the greatest problem. But also, that AS doesn't mean as much as you're saying. Some of those things aren't AS, and even the ones that are you can still overcome a lot of it. Instead of lumping everything on a label, take each individual shortcoming as a task to work on. It's just personal growth. That's not just AS, that's everybody. You have some perspective on what you're starting with. As others have mentioned, that's an advantage. Work out where you want to be and take constructive steps to get there.
I certainly hope so!
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
I know plenty of NT guys who can't get a stable girlfriend. It's not a problem that only happen to aspies. Actually I have two cousins and one friend who are all in their 30s, good looking, well, educated and make lots of money who never had a long term relationship. Treasure what you have. You never know, maybe you'll marry her then you never have to attract any other girls.
_________________
AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )
Not in our lifetime. And personally, I would prefer if they would focus on things like cancer--you know, diseases that kill people instead of just creating dorky, easily overloaded people who suck at communicating.
On the other hand, we stand a pretty good chance at making headway with disability rights and acceptance. If nobody thought that autistic people were less than human, things would be a lot better. Curing autism is a very iffy proposition that probably will never happen (we may learn to prevent autistic babies from being born, but that's about it). On the other hand, curing prejudice can definitely be done. Societies can change. Women vote, slavery is illegal, and gay people are holding official weddings. Disabled people are asserting our civil rights, too, and things are slowly and steadily getting better for us. Don't sit around waiting for a magical cure; get off your butt and help us change the world. We can always use another activist.
(By the way, just over a third of the population enters adulthood while they are still virgins. You are not nearly as unusual as you might think--and besides, having sex before you're ready causes a world of trouble. Given a choice, late is much better than too early.)
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
there is no cure because it is not a disease (imo). We are here in this sh***y confusing world in order to force it to change and that is what we need to do. There is nothing wrong with us. The problems stem from not fitting in with the useless rules and unspoken agreements that humans have just gone along with. We are having a hard time because this planet does not make sense to a group of highly logical and straightforward people.
thus i have sworn to stop changing MY behaviors and instead start being honest and being myself. We need to stop hiding in our rooms because people don't understand us. Make them understand us because we are logical and we can really contribute to the planet if they get over the fact that we are not "polite" and we don't just go along with social norms.
honestly, just imagine a world where aspies got to be aspies and didn't suffer for it. where things made sense instead of doing things "because it's custom"
just saying. I've had these depressing feelings too and I'm tired of it.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Whats the cure for adhd?
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
22 Apr 2024, 2:02 pm |