My success story so far - Ninja1992

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Alright folks! My name is Kiran, I'm 21 and I am currently living in Preston (UK) for my course at the university there. Found out that the author Luke Jackson actually lives in the same town as me. That's awesome!

So anyway, my diagnosis of autism is high-functioning atypical autism. So I don't have a lot of the traits that other people with ASD's may have, i.e. intolerance to casein and gluten. Seriously, I could chug milk and All Bran for days if I could. Also, I appear to be one of the lucky ones - my ASD doesn't really impact on me as negatively as others.

I'm very interested in the development of self; basically I'm a junkie for things like self-actualisation, meditation, bodybuilding (my 'compulsive' behaviours as an autistic behaviour have actually helped me become muscular!), clean eating (eating no processed foods and farts of death), productivity and the like.

Luckily for you people I am willing to part with my knowledge to facilitate others development, particularly surrounding the area of pick-up artistry - this is basically the art of getting women! However as a man I cannot really advise women on that subject area (other than basic advice such as 'look pretty' and 'make them chase you'). Sorry ladies! Men with lonely hearts, you are in luck!



So, here's my long story in depth...

When I was about 2/3, I was diagnosed as having high-functioning atypical autism after my mother saw I wasn't interacting with other children. That was all well and good - at least I am aware of who I am. It all makes sense - my dad also has a form of autism. He has it worse than me though - he can barely form an interesting conversation, it's always what he wants to talk about. It's a miracle he even got laid in the first place!

My mother, my school and other services supporting me definitely had my development in their best interests, but I feel that the ways in which they went about it were absolutely TERRIBLE. My course - BA Community and Social Care - has enabled to gain insight into the appropriateness of the methods they used to support me. And believe me, I was shocked when I discovered the ugly truth about this.

When I entered primary school, my mother anticipated that I may get bullied or isolated because of my ASD. So she told me and my twin sister (who is neurotypical) to notify anyone who tried about my differences. Bare in mind that all my peers at that time were 4 years old, so my twin sister saying 'Stop it! He's different, he's not like you!' isn't really going to get people to understand. I appreciate what my mother was trying to do for me, but she really should have known better. Thus starts the downward spiral that is social isolation.

I had a few friends and generally didn't really see any barriers in making them when I was younger (I think I may have been blind to them). I was in my own little euphoric world in my early years. Interestingly, the way my mother programmed me to be conformant to society has some positive effects - I was able to filter out my behaviours associated with autism and learned to fit in (almost 'imitating' other people) like it was second nature. I would NOT recommend this however - who wants to suppress their autistic child's very being?

I had a few unique talents when I was younger, like a lot of autistic people develop. I had a fixation with Atlas'. After a short while of indulging in this behaviour, I would know all the capital cities in the world, most of the corresponding flags of each country, and I could draw a map of the world on an A4 sheet of paper to relative scale, remembering every little detail in the outlines of each shape I drew. That amazed everyone I came across, the older kids would often pester me with questions about the capitals of the world. I had a great memory as well - I could remember ridiculous facts, like every hotel number my family had stayed in and which country we were in whilst we went on holiday. I was also VERY intelligent for my age. At one point, I got accepted into Mensa for my IQ and my unqiue talents. But having realised that this was just a tick of mine which faded with time, I am no longer part of Mensa (lol!)

I faced a lot of bullying when I grew up, and generally developed a 'beta' mindset because of that and other contributing factors. I was able to reverse it and dramatically change it eventually, but it VERY hard growing up with my autism - what I then considered as the equivalent of being cursed. At about the same time - aged 9/10 - I became interested in swinging stick-like things around. I used to make my own makeshift weaponry in my Grandad's garage. This might have been because I was bullied or whatever. However, like I mentioned earlier this became an advantage of mine when 3 years later more or less every boy in my school year was envious of my body! Good times

I still indulge in this behaviour even now. However, when I was growing up I would constantly get told off for making a racket or wrecking my bedroom (which I did on numerous occasions). Again, my family showed their inadequacy in raising and caring for autistic people. I felt ashamed of myself everytime they told me off for this. If I were in my mother's shoes, I would have made a space in the garage for me to swing my makeshift weapons in peace with anyone getting annoyed. Seriously, why is it so hard for someone to come to that conclusion? I almost feel like my mother failed me in this regard. So, the spiral of suppressing the strengths of who I am continues.

Looking back, the way my school 'supported' me was quite shocking as well. I had a personal tutor sit next to me in most lessons who was meant to help me with my work. Bare in mind that I was very able of working by myself as any other kid was. That was a source of frustration - why would go about putting this woman next in a lot of my lessons? I want to feel socially included, not isolated! I wanna be like any other kid, and this woman's very presence is basically a big middle finger to that. I often expressed this frustration quite overtly in my lessons when I became frustrated in my adolescent years and got told off for it. Couldn't they have just removed the so-called support I was receiving and allow me to develop the important values of independence, motivation and sociability (to name a few)? No joke, I saw kids in more need than me at my school with absolutely no support. Quite inhumane, if you ask me.

When I became older, I often became frustrated in that I couldn't socialise or flirt or go about the dating game like other teenagers seemingly could. My frustration often induced meltdowns - these are what I would describe as intense outbursts of sadness and anger, with the only purpose of getting them off my chest (in an equally intense manner) uninterrupted. So my family tried to stop this and console me. That often exacerbated the sadness and anger. When they did that, I felt frantic. It felt like my heart was trying to forcibly shoot itself out of my chest. Probably the most horrible feeling in the world, feels worse than a death in your family. And my family were trying to contain it and get in the way of it. How horrible! Why would you not want a child having a meltdown to get everything of his chest? Furthermore, why would you impede him in doing so? I don't give a damn if I wake my sisters or the neighbours up, I'm in no state to be controlled by family members who don't know how to adequately care for their son with autism.

This was like my downpoint in my life. I had depression, I hated every day of my life. My friends were making fun of me, I felt like I could only truly trust myself. After a while began to not focus as much on feeling depressed and seeing autism as a curse anymore. That was very liberating. I felt 'normal' - I would often think of autistic people and 'normal' people as being seperate. However, it didn't get rid of the mindset and my beta ways of thinking from the old world I used to live in.

Fast forward to December 2011. I'm at a friend's house, a bit hungover from the night before. My friend has a sister a year younger than me. She's SMOKING HOT, and she also fancies me. Well, I am pretty sexy if I do say so myself. I was a little confused about why I was feeling this way about the indicators of interest she was giving me (basically the body language that determines flirting). Then I caught my friend's facial expression, which read 'I know what's going on here, she fancies the pants off of you'. This infuriated me further - I didn't know how to respond to this.

So I went home that evening and started typing in 'how to get girls' into Google. I would often feel uncomfortable when I searched this information before, but something within me clicked - I had decided with my entire being that I would never be confused or distressed or lacking in the area of dating and sex ever again. Unknowingly, I had stumbled upon a wealth of knowledge and experience that was pretty much the antidote to my beta ways of thinking and living! The article I read (How to become an Alpha Male by John Alexander) taught me the inner workings behind dating and sex (Spoiler Alert! It's all tied into evolution), and how one could follow these principles, express them within your dating life and unconciously adapt and change to become a much greater 'alpha male' who has unyielding self-belief and doesn't have to worry about anything. The theory and topic in which they did this is referred to as pick-up artistry or PUA.

It was May 2012 when I had finished uni and I was able to try this out. I was 20, still a virgin, only having kissed a small number of girls. I had joined local community in Manchester under the nickname 'Ninja' for this kind of activity of going out and developing the ability to 'get some' - we call it sarging. I told them all about my journery and my circumstances - they accepted me with open arms. Awesome!

The summer was the greatest time of my life. I watched as I transformed my life, my mindset and my belief systems before my very eyes, in just a few months! Even though I was no way near as good as some of the other men in the community I was regarded as somewhat of a legend for going from zero to hero in a short space of time. Fueled by my beta ways of thinking, I ate up the excitement and got stuck into sarging. I've even had some ridiculous successes, like sex on the first date consistently, or hooking up with near-perfect looking girls that other men would grovel after. I CHANGED. My friends were shocked, one of them is still in blatant denial of who I have become. And this is only a small step of the journey.

This man now stands before you as: an alpha male, very hardy and emotionally strong, very handsome and good looking , very intelligent (ESPECIALLY in social situations), has a wealth of experience with life under his belt, very powerful and an influential leader, very funny and a GREAT conversationalist, and EXTREMELY confident. I walk up to girls and flirt with them shamelessly where other drunk 'neurotypical' men cannot. I shrug rejection off like flies. Fear is my freind and ally. I have made people feel intimidated and nervous unintentionally by my confidence before. But more importantly - I learned the use the strengths of my ASD to my advantage (namely my intelligence). What a complete switcheroo! That summer, I was actually shocked to remember that I am a man with an ASD. I felt like a completely different person. It didn't compute at first, but now I see that whatever you want, if you REALLY set your mind to it, you will achieve

The greatest part is that I'm only 21 - I look forward to my years of constant work and development and the great man I will become.

I have great ambitions to one day set up an organisation specialising in the development of social and dating skills in autistic men and women, in the format of delivering speeches and seminars. Would like to receive your feedback on this

And that's my story.

Kiran 'Ninja' Kakade

What is this supposed to mean?

"Look pretty?" "Make them chase you?"

Shallow, shallow, shallow...

That's because I'm making example of vague advice that people give you. It is quite shallow and ignorant; it's meant to be. Plus I'm not a girl so I wouldn't know much about that.

Seconded.

Obvious PUA troll is obvious.