Boyfriend of almost 3 years left me.

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I don't know what to do or think right now. My boyfriend just basically ended things suddenly this week saying he wanted to move back to Cali. He was raised in Cali, but moved to Texas a bit over 6 years ago. When he went to a wedding last April for his best friend in Cali, he suddenly came back saying he wanted to move back out there. At the time I wasn't willing since I had too much going on here with friends and family. He said he'd try to see which would work better for him in the long run, but didn't talk to me much about it after that. It's been almost exactly a year this April since he went out for the wedding, and he just over this last weekend suddenly decided he would be moving back without telling me, and even started making plans without mentioning it, and doesn't want me to go with him either. I was in MS visiting family so we couldn't keep in touch very well since it's a bit out in the country.

I have thought since the 1st year that this is the man I will end up with forever. He's my best friend, and always understood my quirks better than anyone. He means the world to me...And I'm just feeling at a loss right now.

At this point I am ready to leave Texas, since I kind of hate it here these days, but he doesn't want me to go with him and I can't understand why. I begged and pleaded to let me go along and promised I would get my affairs in order quickly, find a way to pull my own weight and pay my end of things, and further my online shop to a career. He kept making excuses like well you're not in good physical shape, or financial shape, you don't have career goals, and I can't support both of us and so on. Then when I asked him while packing up my things from his apartment today, he said he fell out of love with me over the weekend and doesn't love me anymore ect. I just can't accept that. We were so happy and everything seemed so normal to me all of last week. You don't just fall out of love with someone after 3 years in the matter of a weekend. He'd been crying and even vomited from being so anxious about this whole ordeal, so I can't help but feel like he just said that to push me away.

I just don't know what to do or say.

I don't know what I can say to help you, but it sounds like something or someone happened over there. Maybe he has been emotionally pushing you away for a awhile and not told you.
But It sounds like a time which needs tears, followed by some self-love and support and then maybe starting to put your life back together after that.
And though it would not be good to pine over him and expect him to come back, you never know if he will even like moving back.
Like i said, time to have you tears and then focus on yourself and what you want from life now.

That's terrible

Give yourself time to sort it out. It will hurt, it will suck but as with all things in life, this too will pass. Who knows, maybe its for the better and you will find an even better guy in the future!

Just last week everything was fine. He still said he loved me, and said there wasn't anyone else in the picture when I asked him yesterday. He just said he's been depressed here for the last year, and didn't want to lean all of his happiness on me, and doesn't want me doing that out there. I said that wasn't fair to make that decision for me and to not talk with me about it. I know he's been wanting to move back with his friends and family because he really misses them, but he didn't ever say he had decided to for sure.

I wrote down a lot of things I thought of over the last couple days to tell Matt and called him to just read it. I didn't even really want him to respond, so much as just hear what I had to say. A lot of it is just to get things off my chest, and clarify some things that I feel he is mistaken on.

He said on the phone earlier when he finally called that he's actually been slowly falling out of love for the last year, and basically feels like he was leading me on. I can't help it. I can't accept that he stopped loving me over this entire last year. We saw each other 4-5 days a week, said we love each other, and he did so many amazing things for me that indicate him loving me all that time. My friend even saw him on my birthday in March, and she says there's no way in hell last month that he didn't love me from the way he acted. But then he said he was just so scared of hurting me that he kept going as if nothing was wrong, when he really wanted to just break up and leave for Cali. If all of that really is true, then this just added a whole new level of hurt.

He was happy to hear what I had written out for him though, which just seemed odd to me. I asked him if he wanted me to type it out and e-mail it to him if he wanted to read it again, and he said yes. I'm so confused. He still says there's no chance of me going with him because he doesn't love me anymore, but then wants to look at my e-mail with me basically spilling my guts and saying how much and why I also still love him.

my girlfiend of two years just had left me, watch this video of madea an relationship advice it REALLY helped me. http://vimeo.com/m/18145425 hope u get better!

Every relationship comes with a expiry date
People come into our life for a reason, season or lifetime

I feel absolutely terrible for you. I would feel mislead as well if my boyfriend said he loved me one day, then says he doesn't love me anymore the next. You heard him: appearantly it took him so long to confess to you that he did not love you anymore because he did not want to hurt you. This must feel extremely aweful, but there is not a lot you can do about it anymore. He does not love you anymore.

You will have to let him go and do your own thing again. Getting dumped is always hard, but believe me when I say that there are thousends of men out there that could make you as happy as this guy. You're worth more girl.

My worry is that he's saying a lot of things out of sheer depression right now. This last year was rough for him with work. When he moved here 6 years ago, he made a lot of friends from work...or so he thought. They all got laid off at once with me from Blizzard. Over the following months they started ignoring his texts and calls, some just blew him off last minute when he made plans to hang out, and moved away. So he doesn't really have friends here anymore, and he's hated his job for the last year solid.

He said he's been planning to move back for awhile, but he was still applying for jobs here even into January. And last month he was asking about another job here with a friend he made recently that also got laid off from Blizzard in March. I feel like he's being rash just because he got turned down for the two job offers he applied for, feels stuck currently, and just trying to take a quick way out.

Looking back, I know he said that when he moved out here, he was in a similar situation in Cali at the time. He'd lost his previous girlfriend of almost 2 years and hated his job out there. He just picked up and moved out here with little money in his pocket in the hopes of getting the job he has now. To me that was incredibly risky and it seems that he's trying to do the same thing now.

Oops, posted twice on accident.

He's always been the one there for me even when nobody else was. Even when he's sad, he's such an amazing person, and we always knew how to cheer each other up. We liked the same games, music, and movies. He didn't judge me for my odd quirks and physical ailments. We had an awesome love life. We saw each other most of the week and still never got sick of each other. My family adores him. I could go on and on and on, but then it just starts to sound really cheesy.

Best heartbreak song ever written

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Jtpf8N5IDE&feature=kp[/youtube]

May it help you

I know the timing is terrible for hearing this, but he's doing you a favor by running away. I know he's your favorite person. But he's also not very strong, and not strong enough to admit when there's a serious problem, and his first impulse in a very tough spot is to lie to you. And he has been lying to you. And I would bet that on the other end of the line is a friend, or bunch of friends, who've been listening to him complain, and saying, "Dude, you can stay with us." And now that he's got that solidity on the other side, he can go. It's not that he didn't want to hurt you -- he didn't want to, but obviously he doesn't mind doing it now -- it's that he didn't want to deal with the fallout from hurting you. Not if he had to be right there. Now he doesn't, so bombs away.

You were thinking of marrying this man, but honest and true, you don't want to marry a weak man who'll lie to you, especially if you might want children someday. Nothing will make your life harder faster than a marriage like that.

I'm so sorry. There'll be a better man, I think. And I suspect, one day, you'll look back and see that all of his understanding of your quirks...well, most of that was you doing the work for him, and him just being rather more passive than most, allowing you to think he really understood.

Yeh all of the friends he talks to have no vested interest in me, much less how I feel or how I would be effected. They all just support his decision because they don't want to tell him what to do and let him make his own mistakes. But it makes me wish that there was someone on my side that he's close to who can go HEY...YOU'RE BEING AN IMPULSIVE IDIOT! Because he's heard none of that this last year.