I took a test about how pretty I was online and my result was just above average. I'm well aware that I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but having a kind personality apparently makes up for that. Ever since I took that test yesterday I've been working hard in improving myself. I have been on a diet for quite a while which has highly improved how I feel about my health. I dress nice and wear women's clothes. My mom pointed out that I have an apple body shape. While that did make me self-conscious I've gotten over it. My body image has been wonderful for quite some time. I've been the same clothing size for four years and wouldn't trade my clothing size for any size in the world so.
My mom called me a b***h and told me that I was hateful earlier this week when I got upset. Now that I've changed my ways I keep telling her that I'm a nice person and have asked if she appreciated that. She asked "Do you want an award?"
She was being sarcastic. In fact, my brother and her kind of got mad at me and my brother called me annoying several times. In the past I would of yelled, but now that I'm a nice person I would appreciate it if I got some credit.
All I'm trying to be is the total package. Now that I've found out that I'm an attractive person I need to work on my personality. That will attract friends and a possible boyfriend. It's been a year or two since who I thought was the total package and I broke up and I'm still heart broken.
I love my mom and she has told me that I am her best friend. She even said that today. Normally my mom and I have a great relationship, but my brother still hates me based on past events.
What should I do to feel better after getting my feelings hurt? I'm trying so hard.
_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
21 Apr 2014, 10:55 am
