marshall wrote:
What the hell is "success". I'm pretty sure even if I had it I wouldn't find it all that satisfying. Most of life is a pointless chore. Anything that isn't a horrid chore isn't useful for survival. All I want is to feel happy every now and then. f**k the rest of you with your pretentious ideas about what life is "supposed" to be about. It's plain obvious we're just a bunch of monkeys going about eating, crapping, and reproducing, and consuming lots of pointless garbage along the way.
There is no plan. It's all obvious to me. Just walking to my mailbox to empty the stack of pointless junk mail I never asked for gives me some inkling that life has no meaning. Someone is employed to fill my mailbox with a bunch of sh** I didn't ask for. Hahahaha. That pretty much sums of life.
Satisfaction itself is nothing but a chemical reaction. If I could plug my brain into the wall and feed it happy feelings I would sit there drooling for the rest of my life. People who still find life worthwhile enough to fear death are pretty lucky. I don't really fear death anymore. I just don't have a good way to end my life. Too many other people would be upset too. That's about it though, as far as reasons go. That and something interesting might happen, interesting enough to make me temporarily forget that I hate life.
Success is relative. I think we are only a bunch of monkeys if we allow society to define anything for us as individuals. I have adjusted my life so that my mailbox , including email never has anything in it that I don't ask for. I don't fear death either but I have learned to find enough little patches of happiness on m y own terms, to be content until darkness falls for the final time. My brief instant of happiness may make me appear to be a total madman to the rest of society but I don't care. What can they do but laugh at me? I can laugh too. And I have learned enough to know that if and when I decide to bring the curtain down early, I know how to just disappear from anyone who knows me or anything about me and do what I have to do without guilt about how it will affect my family or anyone who knows me. They have already become accustomed to me disappearing from their lives and reappearing for long periods of time with no contact whatsoever for years at a time. Do what you have to do, for you. Humanity will get over it, and you, in time.