NT-Aspie relationship and communication...

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Hello, I am new here. I believe my husband has Aspergers. Could really use someone to talk too, that has an NT - Aspie relationship. So far our communications have been nothing but downhill. I have no more approaches to reach him. Hopeful I can learn new skills in communcation between us. Thank you! Just now learning to navigate the site also and where to begin. Thanks again!!

What are you finding the most difficult?

I am finding any personal conversation is non existent on his part. I carry the full emotional load, I only get factual answers or absolutely No answers at all. No communication about relationship has been discussed for years, stopped dead in my tracks. I have tried all angles to get communications going, but get mostly no reply or pat answers to any questions I try to approach him with. I have ADHD and it is hard for me to slow down to think all of my words out as i speak them, not used to this. But i am willing and have been trying to learn how to ask the questions in a way that he can answer. He mostly answers me with things like, .... That is not a question i can answer, or That is not a question that has an answer, Or I cant answer that question. Im not sure, that question could have two answers, so then he will not give me an answer...Or no reply , silence.... period. hmmmmm, no more ideas on my end. Basically convos go like that above, they go absolultely no place...Thanks! PS, If i ask him what is the difference between the Pleistocene and the Quaternary Periods, he can go on and on for minutes with a very educated reply, me not even knowing he would have any idea what these terms meant, while I had been reading a book about polar bears these words came up.

It is sounding like the only thing he wants to talk about is his special interest. Does anyone have suggestions for how to get him to open up about other things?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

The "I can't answer that" or "there isn't an answer for that" makes it sound like he can only think literally. If you get that from him, step back and go over the question in your head. Is the question more figurative and can it be phrased more literally? In matters of the relationship, many aspects are hard to think of as concrete or literal, unfortunately. These things might be fairly difficult to communicate to a person who thinks so literally. Sorry I can't be of more help.