Seeing your crush years later?

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I asked my mum once "why would someone stop fancying there crush". My mum then said "well they might bump into there 'crush' again years later when they are older"

Could you explain what my mum meant by that?

It's simple: you might run into the person whom you had a crush on--years after the crush was active.

It's actually not that rare a thing for a romance to blossom after these encounters.

It did happen to me--but no romance resulted. I had a crush on a girl when I was 13. I walked her home one day, carrying her books. When I was 17, I saw her again, with her friends. We were taking an important standardized test (like the GCSE's, known as the SATs). She looked exactly the same, except she was a bit heavier. I wanted to say Hi. I was too shy. Nothing resulted.

I think she meant they would look old and unattractive and you would not like them anymore.

People might stop "fancying" their crush when they move on to someone else.

Crushes die. We don't all stay infatuated forever with the same person. Crushes fade away even IF the person might still seem attractive. There's someone I had a huge crush on twenty years ago. I recently found his online profile with a picture of him now. He was 26 when I knew him so he's 46 now. He actually has not changed a bit, physically. He still look the same though more mature. He's still cute.

But I feel nothing. I just think, Wow Chris, you're still a very handsome man!

BUT.....i have no crush anymore.

Reason why? Life. I've been busy. I've fallen in REAL love with other people in the interim, not just crush love that was unfulfilled. I also look back and realize it WAS just a crush. He didn't feel the same back, and he also wasn't really the kind of person that would be good to have a relationship with, for me anyway.

The cold light of reality takes crush feelings away, and there's actually nothing wrong with that. I'll take reality over "Gee but you're still cute!" anytime. I have no interest in him -- that's how you get a dead crush.

And thank christ too, because how would we ever get on with our lives if we go around still full of these crazy feelings for everybody who ever made us look twice?

Life, people. LIfe kills crushes ALL the time and it's a GOOD thing.

Crushes ARE shallow, by definition. And it's not disloyalty for fcks sake, it's reality. It's healthy to let a crush fade and get on with REAL life and finding real love that lasts and is every-day.

THAT'S true loyalty, finding and maintaining real and mutual love. FFS.

.

Abso-TOOTLY!

I've sometimes crossed paths with old flames years after I stopped pursuing them. Some didn't even remember me. Others left me thinking: "Just what did I see in her?"

You could always ask the people the say these things to you instead of the forums.

Time and the reality of the intervening years with new romances and breakups makes you look at the person without all the puppy love bs and you realise that theyre just like anyone else

As of right now I believe that I've been to 3 of my crushes weddings. (A different crush each time) And it hasn't gotten any easier. I'm likely to receive a 4th invitation shortly. (She said so) I go as a friend and to be supportive although it still hurts. I mean I am glad that they are happy, although I am jealous that the ring is on the wrong finger.