Feeling depressed
Hi, I'm new here. A lot of people have told me I have Aspergers, including my sister who is a psychologist who specializes in autism. I have been trying to get a diagnosis without any success because my parents live in another country. They tell me I'm shy, introverted, but they don't see all the difficulties I have because I don't understand complicated situations, and I don't know how to deal with them. I also have difficulties in expressing what I'm thinking and feeling, and I have uncontrollable meltdowns when bad situations occur. I'm sensitive to sounds and feel very stressed when someone is continuously talking at me.
I'm over 30 and I couldn't keep any friends even though I tried very hard, couldn't hold a job because I piss people off all the time. When I do make a friend they disappear after a few months. My parents tell me I have to try to be normal to make friends, but I don't particularly enjoy these "friendships", because most of the time I'm trying to pretend to be like them, so they don't think I'm weird. Because of this I have lost motivation to try to communicate with people around me although I know I need to. I spend most of my time on my special interests such as computers, and I'm extremely worried that I won't be able to support myself in the future. Many people keep telling me that I'm talented, smart, nice etc but no one is actually willing to actually understand me.
Sometimes I wish it's possible to survive without having to deal with people at all. I'm so frustrated with this world
I hope some of you here might understand how I feel...
AnonymousAnonymous
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Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,206
Location: Portland, Oregon
ImAnAspie
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Joined: 15 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,686
Location: Erra (RA 03 45 12.5 Dec +24 28 02)
I hope some of you here might understand how I feel...
Uncanny! Just this morning, I had this very same thought - only I thought about it a bit deeper. I tried to think of a way to live without people but society's got it all setup so you can't do without them completely.
When I was a little alien, I wanted to live out in the wilderness (like Jeremiah Johnson - before he got the wife and kid).
Oh, welcome to WP
_________________
Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
Formally diagnosed in 2007.
Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.
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