Cruelty

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Do I have everyone's permission to say this? I believe that we are unable to be cruel. We may be interpreted as cruel, maybe? However, never can we abuse an animal or child or anyone weak! If this is so, then we are compassionate beings. Something that neurotypicals strive to achieve. After unable to watch the news because of a dog being abuse, feeling violently ill, I had this epiphany: I am sooo lucky to be in the spectrum! I am glad I can feel this pain about something or someone other than me. I dont want to be neuro-typical. I hope parents of children with aspergers are reading this. Stop trying to force your child to be like you if they are not! I have finally accepted Aspergers as a gift. What about you? Do you feel the same about cruelty? Do you feel this sadness with intense pain when someone, something or you are being abuse?

I agree with everything that's said in your post. I feel empathy for those who are being abused, both animals and people. I also believe that parents should stop forcing their spectrum children to be like them. My mum tried to do that until I put my foot down roughly two years ago this time. I told her that I was being myself when I was dressing like The Kinks in the Mid 90s as I do now. My mum realized what she was doing to me and if she ever wanted to see me again, that she must accept that part of me.

I'd also like to add that I've just heard a mother verbally abusing her son, saying that she never even wanted him. She called him a liar and told him to stop crying and that she never said she wished he was dead.

I'm certainly capable of being cruel.

"are unable to be cruel"

When I was younger maybe <11 I enjoyed seeing how animals would react when they were in pain / discomfort. I hate myself for that. I'm only saying this to let you know that the state in quotes above isn't true... at all.

I have been purposefully cruel before. I only cared about myself and my own needs; pushing others aside and using them for my own comfort. I am deeply regretful about what I did.

I find this strange as I've repeatedly had issues regarding being abused in support groups mocked, and most recently been gaslighted and told it basically was all in my head. OP may be incapable of cruelty, however there are some people on the spectrum who will act cruelly to silence those who cause them to face realities they'd rather hide from.

I have had the capacity for cruelty since daycare age. I wasn't copying anyone else, I did what came to mind. As do everyone else who does this. Blaming it anyone else is cowardly and shows lack of insight. I did it because it was fun for me. As a child I could say things I knew would set someone off, I picked on a couple of children, once I kept quiet and let someone else take the blame, things like that. One of the earliest things I did was something I had never seen anyone else do; I tried to isolate a girl I didn't like by keeping her out of the game. I was either 4 or 5 (probably 5), and I had not seen anyone do that at the time, which is why I tried to do so without the other children noticing it. Because I thought they would be mad at me if they saw it.
As an adult I still have the capacity, but am less likely to act on it, but that doesn't mean I never enjoy pushing someone's buttons or seeing someone else do, and I definitely feel schadenfreude (always have).

Thinking neurology makes someone incapable of cruelty is wrong and inaccurate to say the least. Just ask EzraS, he has talked about that several times. We are human like everyone else, with everything that means. To think that we are these innocent angels who can do no wrong (at least not on our own accord) and everyone else are bad and very capable of cruelty is just not true. Reality is never black and white (and thank heavens for that!), we are all a healthy shade of grey.

Edited to correct grammar

My experience was different.
I observed shadenfreude, tried it for myself and it failed.
I believe it to be an illusion.

I have not been cruel on purpose, but I was capable of it through thoughtless actions, like eating commercial meats. It's a good thing I tend to be a vegan because cruelty-deficient meats & products are hard to get. It's a good thing I learned to sew because sweatshop free clothes are not cheap. It is possible to be cruel indirectly, because capitalistic consumer-driven NT society is made that way. The curse of shopping and buying a bunch of stuff not actually needed is preceeded by a lot of greenhouse gases. These are the same folks who thoughtlessly laugh at "America's Funniest Home Videos" without concern for people or animals obviously hurt. They tease, and if you don't respond as they see fit they might lay a guilt trip. If you tell the truth and it embarrasses them (publicly?!) you might become a target for repeated cruelties or abuse.
As a child (dx HFA at ten) I hardly played games by choice because they are too socially complex for me. Singling out another player to be a manipulated target or to exclude didn't occur to me. Complex Lying, guilt trips, heated arguments were too difficult, & not due to a lack of IQ points but due to the sheer speed at which they juggle it all! How to cope with abuses was also too complex. Apparently it still is.
However, I am good at seeing complex patterns NT's miss.

The longer I remain at the mercy of society the more I see society is very fickle about defining mercy. NT's want me to be more like them. Definitely! Do they want me to lie, cheat, manipulate, argue, tease like them? No. Gosh, do therapists teach those very normal skills? No! Lol
Are they ashamed to teach them?

How can it be called "winning" when it includes alienating good people or creating a carbon footprint so large it warms the world & melts glaciers?
Do I want to be like them? Nope! But more importantly, can I manage the speed at which NT's execute these functions? No, not even on espresso.

Cruelty and kindness are entirely separate from autism so everyone is capable of it. I think autistics may get a bad prejudice in this regard and people think they?re cruel but it?s not generally true. It's really great that you aren't.

To answer your other question. I?m capable of being cruel but I don?t want to be especially no kids, no animals and no mentally handicapped people as none of the above are capable of responsibility for their actions that might piss me off. I don?t hurt other people either but that?s more due to a desire for social acceptance and the logical conclusion that it is an unproductive path in comparison to other options.

While I haven't been cruel, I know I have the capability if I allow myself. Perhaps being on the spectrum allows for a little more insight into it? I've seen plenty of people who were cruel but weren't fully aware of their actions because they were far too focused on their own wants. The more I interact with "nt's" the more I think their definition of empathy is different because they seem so focused on themselves and their own little world, rather than the bigger picture and how each little action could have a large effect.

I have been told a lot that I over-analyze things, though. While I help people because that's just the right thing to do, I see a lot of others beat down those who need the help and I think of those stories where people help someone and get a great reward. Or hear people talk about how they would want to help someone if it was someone special in disguise, you know? I would think that would get people to want to help others more, but they don't! Even helping someone with selfish reasons is better than insulting them and making things worse. I find that cruel what so many people do to other humans and animals.

I try to think about my actions in the thought, "will this help or make things worse?" And I list all the pros and cons of helping or not. Doing cruel things has no benefit to me, only harm, and it's wrong to do. Doing good things has the chance of bettering someone else's life as well as my own, just for the fact that I like seeing people happy. I can't stand people who are distressed. Why would I want to make someone distressed?

I feel that way too I can't bring myself to be cruel, I felt the same way about animals too. I hate how cruel some people can be, like those people who are being cruel to other people I dislike them; like that person's parents didn't give birth to him/her for you to be cruel to. Or imagine how that creature feels I hate it when people abuse animals I really feel so sad about animals especially goats, deers they have a sad face to me which makes me feel deeply sad when I know they're going to be killed or hunted