suggestions for social situations while homeschool

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I am going to homeschool my kids next year. The state that we live in has HORRIBLE assitance for kids with AS. I have 2. I find my daughter wandering the halls when I come for volunteering! THere is no training for the teachers in understanding the children or how to help them integrate with the others. When I asked for her to be sent to language classes for social stories and such, I was told "she is not disabled enough for special assistance". I am taking matters into my own hands at this point. My son who is now 9 spent almost all of his school career being tortured by teachers and students the same. He finally got a great teacher this year and made a friend as well as straight A's!! ! We saw how a little understanding and compassion went a long way, so we want to spare him and my 5 year old daughter the pain and humiliation of the FL school system. My only hang up is that I want them to experience socialization on a very continual basis. I realize the importance. I have no idea where to begin. Any suggestions?

You could MAYBE try the boy scouts. I THINK they might be relatively sedate. I have never actually been a part of that group though. ALSO, if he has a good interest others may group around, try. You might also ask for the help of good neighboors. Above all else, try to give him a STABLE environment.

Unfortunately, the girl scouts, ESPECIALLY small ones, could scream, etc... and hurt your daughter. Try the other options I suggested for HER.

Take them to the park, call your friends with kids... stuff like that.

Basically the same socialization stuff you do during summer vacay.

Pen pals are good as well. I would try to stay away from boy scouts though unless your son expresses an intrest. Also remember that the boy scouts are still largely run by the Mormon church, so if that bothers you, then yea.

As for your daughter... let her make friends her own way. I've met many friends online who are actually better people than the one's I've met in person. They are there when I need to talk, and they understand that I am the way I am. The don't expect anything from me.

Forums like this would be excellent places to meet people. Yea, you don't have face to face interaction, but even when my parents pushed me into social stuff, it didn't help. It just overloaded me and made me even more nervous.

Let your children set the pace. If they complain about not having and friends, then find a kids play group or make one up with friends. Just don't push them because when they fail it's a serious setback.

My homeschooling 8 year old son does karate twice a week, for a year now, and has built up a good relationship with the master, ( who I think is very grounded/ing, reassuring, and has good attitude towards the children; serious and respectful) and with two of the other children, ( a giggly, goofballish, amazingly "normal" interaction ) .

This is a relief because in fencing and music classes ( stopped now) he ended up being bullied/mocked/teased, because in one the teacher just didn't care, and the other the animators were very nice but not authoritarian enough to pull the kids up, also they may have thought he wouldn't stay long anyway because he was increasingly spacing out from the noise as the children became more noisy and confident with instruments!

Otherwise social contact is restricted to another homeschooling family we have been seeing at least once a fortnight for the last few months, whose 7 year old son gets on really well with ours. They are really friends, and it is wonderful to see.

Other homeschooling families is probably one of your best options. I don't know where you live, but there are usually active homeschooling organisations/assoc/groups able to put you in touch with a couple of families nearby.

Parks worked until about he was 6 years old, when all the other children of his age started going to "real" school, and changed their socialising patterns completely; no longer ready to "be friends" for half an hour or an hour in a park with someone who they didn't see in school. The difference in friendship styles between pre-school and post-school behaviour is remarkable, ( never ceases to astonish and sadden me in fact) .

Another "social" contact that is becoming important to my son now that he can read fairly fast, and write/type increasingly well, is online, playing games, from chess and draughts to multi-player fantasy/action/shooters, during which he holds conversations with other children, and laughs at jokes etc.

Don't worry about it too much; I used to, and made mistakes as a result; thinking we must absolutely move to town "A" because there's lots of homeschoolers there, none of whom we connected with when we did move there, for instance. I've stopped worrying, and have realised ( since seeing my son with his real friend) that I needn't.

School isn't so great for socialising. I think many children learn to socialise better in their own family circle ( so long as not a hostile one anyway) with friendly visitors from time to time , as in olden times, than with hordes of children of the same age in a classroom/playground.

maybe where you're located scouts are run by mormons....not around here........scouts helped my son tremendously

My son was also 9 when we pulled him out of a terrible ps situation - it's been a true blessing.

Can I just say something that may offend you? Try very hard not to get hyperfocused on "socialization" and don't start letting the public school mentality of "but how will my kids learn to be with other people if they're not sitting in a classroom of 25 other kids their same age" get to you. Believe me it will creep up on you and work on you and you'll find yourself doubting your decision...BE STRONG! Your kids will be fine and will learn how to be with people of all different ages. Relax and enjoy this time with them.

So far in our 2 year homeschooling experience these are some of the "social type things" we have done:

joined a homeschool co-op - (later dropped out -too much like "school")
homeschool bowling
gone swimming at a local indoor pool from 1:00-3:00 for $5
taken classes at The Discovery center Museum
attended a classical music concert (all the public schools went too- but homeschoolers were welcome)
visited a great museum in Chicago
attended Civil War Days at a local museum
attended World War II Days at a local museum
met another wonderful boy my son's age - they frequently get together and hang out
went to a indoor water park -(reduced price during the day for homeschoolers )
attended classes at local library

These are just the things I remember doing and the more "organized" things. Sometimes you can just go on a picnic, on a hike, bike riding, in the middle of the day- homeschooling IS freedom to do that kind of thing.

You have to figure out what works best for your kids. Some kids LOVE to be in structured, school-type activites. My son can take that but only on a very limited basis.

Check out local homeschool groups, Yahoo homeschool groups and there are tons and tons of great websites to give you ideas. PM me if you want any of these.

Good Luck!

I have to point out that boy scouts is a good option (possibly), and no, it is not run by the mormon church. The Mormon church is a group that believes in the program and therefore has their young men IN the program, but the boy scouts is its own organization, completely separate from the Mormon church (I'm Mormon). You definitely do NOT have to be in a scout troop with other Mormons, but you may find that your son is possibly more accepted by kids at a church scout group. Our son has been in scouts for years, and it has been a very positive experience.

I agree with the above post about homeschooling coops. I don't homeschool, but I've looked into it a lot, and locally in our area (Pittsburgh, PA) there are a lot of cyber schools and homeschooling associations. They often have parents teach a class of kids, have field trips, and other social opportunities. I felt very secure that socializing would be a good thing while homeschooling with these organizations.

Kris

Wow! THank you all so much! I think I will try out a number of those things. I will admit that I did get hung up on the ps socialization theory, but when I really think about it, that is want is causing all of the problems at this stage. My son has really gotten into swimming lately (he has been able to swim for the first time ever in 9 years, just learning, because his sister (aspie) has no danger instinct). Also, the little aspie is so into bugs and parks, walks, the beach, anything natural (including eco friendly) that was great to suggest that stuff. I am so excited. I know deep down that this will ehlp them adapt outside the conventional approach and I am gald for that. I just have to remind myself once in a while.
THanks again.

For us, playdates at the park and gymnastics and swimming. I don't homeschool, but preschool 2 days per week and nothing all summer gets lame for the kids.