Do you feel like you're not even a part of your own family?

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ScottyN
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15 May 2012, 11:54 pm

One should realize that if you are different from the rest of your family, of course they will be sometimes indifferent to you. It happens to me, but it is not as bad as some of these stories.



metaldanielle
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16 May 2012, 12:01 am

cthulhureqiuem wrote:
I agree. My family tries to guilt me for shutting myself off, but being around 5 ppl yelling at each other plus background noise is WAY past my limit for overstimulaton. My parents forced me to be more involved as a kid and I hated it. The reason I don't feel like a member of my family isn't because I spend most of my time alone, it is because the treat me like a second class citizen.


^ this! absolutely this... the worst is talking to them about a subject your intimately familiar with... and having them look at you like your dim, because they do not understand what you are saying.[/quote]

Yes. I have that problem when I talk about my sensory issues. The act like I am crazy because they don't have the same issue. They KNOW that's a symptom of AS! :x



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16 May 2012, 12:14 am

Holey crap, I thought I was the only one that felt this way!

I've never felt as if I'm a full member of my family. I see how my family interacts with each other and it's different than how I interact with them. I don't feel as close to them as they seem to be to each other.


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16 May 2012, 12:15 am

All the time. I was adopted but I feel that even if I was a biological child that I would feel the same way. My pets felt more like family than the human members of it.


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2wheels4ever
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16 May 2012, 12:54 am

In my case, it's like my mother didn't get the first kid right, she has her do-over son and she's happy. The more I tried to reach out, the more unstable they told me I was



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16 May 2012, 6:05 am

Yes, because all 12 of my cousins (and my brother) are all NT, and all my adult cousins are all into clubbing and parties and spending week-ends in pubs and bars - except me. This is where I feel I cannot attend family get-togethers any more, because all my cousins will be talking about is their parties, and I'll be sitting there feeling completely excluded.


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16 May 2012, 7:22 am

2wheels4ever wrote:
In my case, it's like my mother didn't get the first kid right, she has her do-over son and she's happy.


I feel the same way, except I have sisters.



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16 May 2012, 12:46 pm

Me and my family have communication issues. My parents and sister are very work-oriented and they don't seem to realize that I don't want that lifestyle



Mummy_of_Peanut
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16 May 2012, 12:58 pm

With my immediate family (daughter, husband, parents and cousin who's like a brother), I feel kind of like the central adult figure. Everything seems to depend on me, my decisions, my ideas, etc. My parents are older now and rely on me quite a bit for guidance with money matters, what to pack for our holiday, what activities we're getting up to at the weekend, etc. But, with the extended family, I've never really felt part of it. I'm a real outsider and I think I appear to be quite mysterious, to most of them. I'm the youngest cousin on my dad's side and the second youngest on my Mum's side (my brother/cousin is the only one who is younger), the rest are much older, so maybe that's part of it.


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2wheels4ever
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16 May 2012, 4:32 pm

Heidi80 wrote:
Me and my family have communication issues. My parents and sister are very work-oriented and they don't seem to realize that I don't want that lifestyle


Quite the opposite for me, if they could hire someone to wipe for them they would



stephaniecatherine
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24 May 2012, 12:38 pm

i don't feel like i am part of my family much at all.....they sort of try to include me, but more as a way for them to be able to give themselves a pat on their own backs..like, good for us we talked/invited her, blah blah.....when my parents are dead, i will most likely be estranged from my brother and niece

they don't really believe or listen to me when i have told them about asperger's or autism spectrum disorders, despite that having been suggested to them when i was kid (not pursued) and how it now describes me perfectly, how it makes sense of my difficulties in life since childhood, discovering it was a huge A-HA! sort of thing ....not that i say much around them, let alone about asperger's .....but when i have brought it up, i just get talked down to and told i don't have that or even just not acknowledged that i am speaking at all.....it is kind of annoying being told by people who don't seem to know much about you that you don't have the one thing that makes sense out of your life, when they don't even know a thing about autistic spectrum disorders .....or in my brother's case, who knows everything, would say he has a friend who has that and i can't just go around saying i have asperger's etc.....well, i can....and i do have asperger's and have felt the most kindred-y feelings speaking to others who do as well, not feeling like an outsider for once in my life


they treat me like i am a big dummy

.....it would be nice if they would be more understanding.....but it's not likely.....i don't feel like i can publicly say my opinion about my asperger's without them chiming in, so i mostly keep it to myself



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24 May 2012, 4:01 pm

I've always been the black sheep of the family. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my parents about things that are important to me, but when I've tried they just tell me "it's in me head" and "in the past."



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24 May 2012, 4:13 pm

All the time esspecially at family gatherings or reunions I always feel like I don't belong even though I am family.


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KristaB101
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07 Oct 2012, 9:28 pm

I am 17 and I am a middle child of 4...I am living under the same roof with my family, I am the odd ball in the house, I have gone through things that normal teens don't go through...no body really talks 2 me unless need be, I am ignored when I talk, they 4 get about me when they go out some where, I'm yelled at 4 the smallest things, I'm picked on by my big sister, and my lil brother...my older brother I never see, but I never seem 2 really matter 2 anyone in the house...its as if I'm a stranger who just moved in...I used 2 do a lot of bad things when I was younger such as sneaking out and partying till 5am stuff like that, when I was bad it seems like everyone talked 2 me more but now since I'm good (been doing good 4 the past year and half now) that no body is even paying any atention 2 me wats so ever...iv talked 2 them and confronted them but they turn it on me and tell me 2 stop the guilt trip, I think about running away and never coming back iv thought about what if I was never born?, everything! I have friends but I'm not that close 2 them 2 talk about wats going on at home...id would tell my father in virgina wats going on but he wouldn't be able 2 help the situation, I would just make matters worst...I have a boyfriend who iv been dating 4 a year now he is actually realizing that I am the less loved child in the house...he tells me all the time that they shouldn't be treating me this way and I should really tell them wat there doing 2 me and that there making me cry every night...but I'm starting not 2 care anymore, but I'm starting 2 realize that my emotions r starting 2 reflect on my relationship sometimes...
I don't need help...I need 2 move away from my mother and my siblings 4 good!



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07 Oct 2012, 9:48 pm

Happens to me. I get this feeling my parents I get along as well as the Yankees and Red Sox these days; to the point where I want to file an NCO against them. I hate how my mother is so overly prissy over things. It just bugs me.


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Liz99
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15 Oct 2013, 12:42 pm

Amik wrote:
I feel like I don't really have a family and like I'm not really a part of my own family. I feel like a complete outsider in my family. I neither fit in with them nor do they treat me like a part of the family.

My family (as in parents and siblings) don't talk to me much or spend time with me or tell me about anything that's going on in their lives or in the family. On the rare occasion that they talk to me it seems to be more like them just checking if I'm still alive or them being polite rather than showing actual interest in me or my life or caring.

If I visit them or meet them somewhere and there is some other person there (be it another family member, a distant relative, their friend or a mere acquaintance), I'm automatically ignored and excluded and they keep talking to each other and ignore me if I try to join the conversation.

I never know what's going on in the family because nobody ever tells me about it, even though I ask them if there is anything new. They always seem to assume that somebody else has told me about everything, but when I have no idea about something that has been happening they laugh at me for not being up to date and ask me what planet I've been on. How the heck am I supposed to know about news that nobody tells me about?

The rest of my family is really close with each other, but not with me. They are even a lot closer to various relatives than to me. It feels kind of weird to see them treat my cousins and second cousins more like a part of the family than they treat me, and them being closer to them than they've ever been to me.

My husband has noticed the same thing about me not really being treated like a part of the family and he's even more upset about it than I am, so it's not just my imagination. I tried for years to become more involved with the family, by showing interest in them, meeting them more often, trying to talk to them, asking what's new and so on, but it didn't change a thing, so I gave up trying.

Do any of you experience the same thing, like you're not considered or treated like a part of your own family?

This is EXACTLY how it is for me!! ! My family doesn't even acknowledge my existence. They don't even send me a card on my birthday or call me! I never hear from them except if something is wrong. It is so depressing and has made me feel so bad about myself that I don't want anything to do with them anymore. I can't really handle it. I don't know why when my mom calls me she has to tell me all about them. I don't want to hear about my siblings and what's going on with them. They never come to visit me either. I don't know if it's better to just stop talking to them or what. If that's just making me feel horribly depressed, then I suppose it's better.