Define bullying

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Er because that's what it said in the letter of dismissal

- that they were dismissing me because they could not make the adjustments to enable me to work there

I was not disciplined and was not suspended for disciplinary reasons

I think your facts should start with the way the manager acted towards me as well - I didn't become angry out of nowhere - she provoked it and even my own Doctor said most people would have become annoyed at being treated like that.

She wasn't my manager either; she was a cover manager for the week

This is exactly what I mean - the bully is invariably sided with

On an Asperger's board too, this is highly ironic, but expected as people are the same basically, whatever their condition

The writer Charles Bukowski relates in his novel 'Ham on Rye' how a neighbour's dog has a cat cornered and is going to attack it. Other neighbours are watching and waiting for the attack to start ie they don't want the cat saved; on the contrary they want to watch the attack for entertainment. Charles Bukowski notes that most people are like this ie the type that want the cat to die - I agree with this. You are demonstrating it clearly here but I suspect this metaphor will not register with you anyway so it's a bit pointless raising it. I always bear it in mind though and it helps me deal with things remembering 'Most people want the cat to die' - bear this in mind and you'll never go wrong with most people. I'm one of the rare types who would try and save it.

I sometimes wonder why I bother with this board to be quite honest as I have nothing in common with the majority - they seem no different in attitude to the average NT to me and as a result I can often find the experience oppressive and depressing

I enjoy being able to support others but when I need support it can be a different story

I feel depressed now and am going back to bed so thanks a lot for making me feel worse

A lot of people on here are bullies themselves and rather than tell them exactly what I think of them I'm withdrawing, which should please the people who go on about me beign a constant poster on this board no end!

Yes, that's another example of the bullying types on here

The only difference is, I don't go running to the mods when people treat me like s**t on here

You're trying to apply pure logic to a purely emotional response. Bullying is an irrational behavior often intended to elicit an irrational response. The only logical thing about it is that the bully knows he or she can derive pleasure from it.

Logic is irrelevant to people like that. Reason is ineffective against the unreasonable.

No one is bullying you here, we just aren't agreeing with you. That is not the same as bullying. It's perfectly normal for adults to disagree with each other. If you see all disagreement as bullying, or siding with the bully, then you will see it all your life and always feel persecuted when you are not.

Also, no one can make you feel any way. People can only say or do what they choose to say or do. No one else is responsible for your feelings or emotions except you. No one here has said anything with the intent to make you feel bad, only with the intent of having a discussion and talking about both sides of the issue.

If you choose to see everything as bullying, then so be it. See everything as bullying. However that doesn't make it bullying and it won't mean that everyone will agree with you. As for your lawyer seeing it as bullying, well if you look hard enough you can find a lawyer that will see anything the way you want him to see it if he thinks he can win the case with it. Remember, Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson both found lawyers who would stand up and declare their innocence and they won too, but that doesn't mean they were innocent. Same with this. Even if you win, that doesn't make it bullying. It makes it horrible behavior that needed to be brought to the attention of her superiors. Screaming at people, no matter how much you want to do it and how much they deserve it, will not work in some situations, like this one. It sometimes just makes things worse, like here.

No one is trying to make you feel bad. No one.

Agree 100% with everything you said after this.

This first part there, though, I think deserves special attention. There are those who cry "bully" every time people disagree with them. And they will do it to the point it becomes a political issue. And then they'll start filing lawsuits because they feel offended. Whether it is outright aggression or passive aggression, bullying is bullying. Those who seek to marginalize others by crying bully because of a difference of opinion are not mere bullies--they are hypocrites.

I'd rather be picked on by a big, mean, ugly, schoolyard bully any day. At least I'd know where I stand with that kind of person. There are fewer things more annoying than having to worry about what I say because some pansy is going to wilt and start crying because he doesn't like my honest opinion. Yes, people side with passive aggressive bullies because nobody likes a crybaby.

Ponder this: People don't side with bullies. They side with the first person to point a finger.

I would say bullying is being intentionally nasty to someone else, often with the intent of damaging that person's social standing. It is the primary means by which the "popular" students/workers defend their position in the pecking order.

I like the idea of there having to be an imbalance of power. A baby screaming at an adult is not bullying, but an adult screaming at a baby is.

May be attempting to refute bullying can be bullying, if it belittles the experiences of those who are victims of bullying, rather than using some kind of objective method or some such thing.

I did not know this.



Again, I did not know this.



True, but I think they would try to hide it though. I do have problems with emotional regulation as well.



Again, I did not know.



Huh?? What? I don't understand your reasoning here. I was trying to understand where you were coming from as I did not understand your conclusions. I did not side with anyone. When things don't make sense to me, I ask questions.



What did I do wrong in approaching you. All I was trying to do was to understand where you were coming from. I didn't understand certain aspects of it.



I will have to read the novel. I will say this. If this dog was a big dog who had a lot of muscle with big teeth would you try to restrain the dog? What if the dog was slobbering and looked rabid. I would want everyone to go to their homes so I could call animal control or grab a gun to shoot the dog. If other people were in danger I wouldn't give a crap about a cat.

When you state it would not register with me anyway I have to ask why did you insult me? I would appreciate it if you do not state what would register with me or not. You insult a person's intelligence by doing this.



Again, there was no bad intent or ill will on my part. I was simply trying to understand and I don't know what I did wrong with you. I do have AS as well and this is a social situation I do not understand myself. What did I do wrong with you?



I apologize for inadvertently making you feel bad. What did I do wrong? I don't understand.



Please, don't withdraw.



I did not treat you like s**t and I don't go to the mods either. If my questioning came out wrong I don't know why it was wrong. I was simply trying to understand.