How much of our problem is really the Autism?

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Sharks are awesome.

I love how they eat people.

My problems are down to AS, asthma, allergies, learning problems in maths and sciences, poor concentration and lacking motivation.

Many of them actually do meet criteria for something - particularly ODD:

https://aap.confex.com/aap/2012/webprogram/Paper17739.html

Umm with all due respect I think bullying is a choice, people can choose not to do it....it should certainly not be passed off as acceptable normal behavior....but I don't think it's an illness, not saying someone with a mental illness couldn't bully people but bullying in itself is a intentional behavior and shouldn't qualify as an illness.

the point of something being an illness is if it interferes with your functioning ability, I've been bullied by people who functioned just fine....so to classify them as 'ill' just seems to be excusing it, when they had every option not to act that way.

That is true, in that it does indeed provide an excuse for them when they did indeed have options not to act that way and I am not sure that I want to provide an excuse for bullies but I worry about their reasoning and judgment all the same. I don't really understand why someone would want to bully someone I guess.

I can understand misunderstandings, and people being angry at people they feel have hurt them and wanting to hurt them back (possibly, although feeling that way does not excuse acting on it) and I can understand how substances such as alcohol and even antidepressants can affect a persons perceptions of things and also their reactions, but I don't understand wanting to bully someone chronically with intent to harm them just for the sake of harming them itself. It just doesn't seem like it would be the action of rational educated mind is all.

I have long been confused by the act of bullying though.

The cause of classical (read severe) autism was usually thought to be brain damage based on the few autopsies (post mortem) that were performed on these people. In the 1960s an explanation was sought for bad behavior and poor performance in school. (I find it fascinating that no one questioned the practice of seizing children and removing them from their homes to be placed in industrial processing facilities but that would be another subject).

The explanation that was found was the "disease" called minimal brain dysfunction. I suspect that the reason this seemed more pronounced after WWII was that before WWII children that did not like school stopped going.

The "discovery" of MBD seemed to be verified when amphetamines were given to these children and they seemed more compliant. I suspect that there are a number of people that have neural processing and sensory differences that can be caused by genetic differences, environmental factors, developmental circumstances, nutritional deficiencies, and possibly even some type of brain injuries. The observation of the efficacy of amphetamines would seem to me to be a suggestion that neural processing speeds could be a factor.

The declaration that Aspergers is an Autism spectrum "disorder" seems less a victory for science than a tidy bookkeeping assertion. I would suggest that those of us who have to deal with our issues not put too much faith in those who earn a living classifying things they do not really understand.

Back to your situation. I am not so sure that permanent damage results from bad experiences. If your neural processing is such that the social context you find yourself in results in anxiety and apprehension, some of it may be attributable to a reflex regarding past bad experiences, but some of it may also be that with which you have always dealt.

There are a few ways to try to minimize fear.

1. Find an environment where the people are less capricious and you can find some stability.
2. Worst case scenario. If you are prepared to loose a job and start over, the prospect of getting fired has less of an impact.
3. Set boundaries. You may not have to learn to fit in if you can educate others as to where your comfort level is.
4. Find someplace to place an emotional "flag". I am a Christian and for me Jesus is my foundation. Others might have a political passion, a hobby, or another person (spouse, children, etc.) When work seems a smaller potion of your life, then work issues have a proportionally less severe impact.

You want to be careful about too much self-focus. Many people, especially those in therapy, can find themselves thinking about themselves too much which can accentuate things like fears and phobias. It can be helpful to take up an activity like golf, joining a book club, jogging, attending a lecture, etc. to not only make work issues seems less overwhelming, but to explore possibilities with new environments and people. These explorations may not always work out, but you could be pleasantly surprised.

I know that most of my miseries are because of having Asperger's.

I was rejected countless times in school, and it has left scars that are taking a long time to heal. Rejection can be very hurtful and can have an effect on the way you see yourself. No wonder I have social phobia.

This then leads to social isolation, and it's social isolation that makes me feel depressed and unhappy about myself and my life.

I don't think I'm as socially isolated as I think and feel I am, but because my shyness and social awkwardness does get in the way, I feel like I am on nobody's wavelength (only sometimes), and I crave for more than what I have got.

But is it the Asperger's, or is it how people treated you that is the problem?


Personally: the autism is more of the challenges, how people treated me and the eventual breaking down because of that is more of the mental and emotional pain.

^^^^ What he said.

You know Willard, I agree with most of what you say on these forums so much, and you say it so eloquently that I often find myself with little more to say about it or add to the conversation.
Not many people can shut me up by saying what I would say, only better.
Much respect.

Well I do blame the Asperger's for it because if it wasn't for the Asperger's, I would have been more socially accepted as a child. The kids at school were so intolerant, and I knew it was because I was missing something. I never quite knew what I was missing, as I have always only had mild Asperger's and seemed to be quite good with recognising non-verbal cues, and could engage in imaginative play with other children, made eye contact, and wasn't like an emotionless robot. But it is not common for a regular kid to miss out on having friends as a child, and if I didn't have this Asperger's, I would have just been another regular kid, being so I wasn't neglected by my parents or extremely poor or anything else that might have still made me different. It has always just been Asperger's that has stood in my way - which is what makes me depressed. So yes, it is the Asperger's that causes the problems.

Me fourth, and similar experiences for me, trust someone only to be betrayed.

and I get told a lot that if I just had a better more positive attitude it would somehow "magically" make my life become good and bad things would stop occurring. All seems like blame the victim to me. I think people will treat me bad because they always have - I really doubt they are treating me bad because I am being defensive - when I was open and trusting they still messed with me. It is why I have all this hurt.

You don't think a mental illness can influence what choices you make?

In high school my biggest problem was OCD and lack of friendships. I think that anxiety/depression was caused from isolation that was caused by Autism and not fitting in. I was nihilistic up until this year but Autism is the main problem.

How can you like sharks? I'm freaking scared of them I live in the coast and I Always worry about them when I go canoeing or something. When you are in the sea you feel so small and useless...
My fear is kind of irrational but it doesn't help that my father is a fisherman and he had a book presenting historical records of shark attacks in my region.

I am not sure about Brazil but:

Runs to grab a book about sharks species found in British Seas because it has the following quote in it..:

In Britain there has only ever been one real recorded shark "attack". Cows are statistically more dangerous to Britons than sharks!

Or so it would seem at the time the book was written..."Sharks in British Seas" by Richard Peirce. 2008.

I think most shark attacks are mistaken identity.

What species do you get in the waters over there?

I also have anxiety and OCD and I don't know how much of my problems are related to that, I also had depression. When I get depressed, I get more absorbed in my interests and I wonder if that is the depression than AS. I also think bullying had some affects and I also had hearing loss so my language delay was the reason for that. I have also wondered if my shyness is part of the problem too or me being introverted than AS. I also think my problem in school was narrow minded kids and them not being nice. I also have learning issues and I wonder if it's really the AS or not. My mom makes it sound like autism is environmental because she has told me if she kept me in that special ed room, I would have grown up to be autistic. Wouldn't that just mean I got screwed up due to being in the wrong environment so I learned the wrong behavior? Would that just make my problems psychological then or whatever it would be called? I do wonder what affect it would do on a normal child if there were also in a special ed class surrounded with kids who can't act appropriate. Would it also affect their development too and also make them have poor social skills and face problems in life? But my husband was in that sort of class too and it didn't teach him the wrong behaviors like it was doing for me. I did tell him if you have a kid that mimics other people and copies them, you do not want them in that class when we were talking about when I was in that class and him and how they used to just put special kids all in one class. My mom has blamed some of my problems from being in that classroom because of inconsistent rules and one kid being allowed to do something and the rest of the other kids not being allowed to do it and she is sure that was confusing for me. No I just thought then that kid was allowed to do it because he is John Doe and my mom always shook her head when I told her what I thought then as if it was wrong of me to see it that way as a young child.