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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 18 Apr 2012, 5:31 pm
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Thanks so much for responding. Yeah, he says he didn't want to hurt me, but I think it was more fear. He tends to avoid things he doesn't want to deal with. He's good at it. And he didn't need to deal with it, because he had this girl to spend all this time with, and didn't need me anymore. I unders... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 16 Apr 2012, 8:15 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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So it wasn't a shutdown. He met a girl. They are in love. He has been afraid to tell me and his solution I guess was just not to tell me or return my phone calls.
I have never hurt this badly, I don't think. |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: So why make friends in the first place? |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 11 Apr 2012, 5:19 pm
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Replies: 18
Views: 3,206
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| I sort of posted this on another thread but I'm still looking for an answer. I'm NT. A close friend of mine is going through what appears to be shutdown right now. I've never experienced it before and I'm finding it really hard to deal with. Everything I've read suggests that the reason Aspies have ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: NT needs advice about Aspie shutdown - please help me |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 07 Apr 2012, 4:22 pm
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Replies: 86
Views: 14,125
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| Sorry to resurrect an old thread; found this searching for help. I am having similar problems. Cannot seem to cope with the sudden withdrawal of a young man I'm in love with. My question is: if socializing is so stressful and exhausting for aspies, why do they make friends in the first place? I mean... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2012, 11:39 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Oh god thank you Paul. I don't know what to say. Everything you said is so kind. I want to respond in more detail to all your posts. I'm just so sad and I can't seem to muster the energy to respond in a way I feel that they deserve right now. You have been immensely, immensely helpful. I don't know ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 01 Apr 2012, 1:01 pm
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Hey Paul, So sorry it’s taken me so long to write you back. This thing has just been killing me, and so I’ve been trying not to think about it, as part of trying to let it go. So far, not much success. :) I’m not sure I can keep this short. I feel like you all have been hugely generous with your tim... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Help - Dating AS Partner might be in shutdown? |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 30 Mar 2012, 4:11 pm
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Replies: 18
Views: 3,472
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| Sunshower, can't thank you enough for your post. It gave me a window into what my friend is experiencing, and made me feel less hurt by the fact that he appears to have disappeared from my life. It also prevented me writing him a "Did I do something wrong?" letter that I'm sure he would have found t... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 24 Mar 2012, 9:38 pm
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| God damn it. I just don't understand. I called him at 8:30 tonight to ask if he wanted to hang out. He said: "Potentially. We'll see." I called him an hour later and he didn't answer. I left a message, texted him again. Half an hour later he texts: "I can't hang out tonight. I'm supposed to talk to ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 24 Mar 2012, 4:56 pm
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Hey Paul, so sorry I'm just getting back to you. Work has been insane. I'm half way through (re)reading your first post, and really need to say that though the person you are interested in sounds like a really great person, so too do you. First for asking him out, and for sticking things out even th... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 22 Mar 2012, 11:58 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Paul, I can't tell you how enlightening your post was. This guy displays so many of the same things you brought up, it's uncanny. Hi - mainly I get upset when I feel that I'm being excluded from things (or not consulted on stuff when I think that I should have been). The worst part is that I kind of... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 22 Mar 2012, 11:32 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Thank you so much LOTG for writing -- everything you said is really interesting and helpful. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, when it comes to socialization. Who better to learn from than the individual one feels closest to? I found it very difficult (and to an extent still do) to function withou... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 22 Mar 2012, 7:40 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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Hey Paul and LOTG,
Just wanted to thank you for writing and for being so thoughtful and incisive. I'm so glad I posted here. I'm really busy at work but wanted to let you know I read your responses very carefully and will write back something worthy later.  |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 21 Mar 2012, 11:55 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Thanks for writing LOTG, I appreciate it! Yeah, I kind of wondered this because he seems most impressed with me when he sees me being competent or charming in a group setting. Again, I can understand why this would be. If he's spent his life feeling awkward in such situations, the fact that I don't ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 21 Mar 2012, 9:27 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| I'd love to believe you're right, Paul. I think I have to back off for now in any case; if he's really interested, I guess he won't let me get too far away. And yes, it is difficult, although I'm sure it's just as challenging for an Aspie to figure out an NT's mind. That's sort of what I'm worried a... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 21 Mar 2012, 9:21 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Wow 886, just realized how hurtful that sounded. I know there are plenty of Aspies that have very active social lives. This guy is certainly capable of having lots of friends -- he's delightful, funny, kind and smart...everyone loves him. It's that he doesn't choose to have them, partly because he's... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: In love with someone who may be an Aspie |
| Daisychains11 |
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Posted: 21 Mar 2012, 8:15 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 4,920
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| Thank you Bruinsy. As you say, I think I've been trying to use AS a way of explaining what I don't want to believe: that he just doesn't feel that way about me. I need to move on. I really appreciate your feedback. And I'm glad you seem to think it was a good idea to come out and express my feelings... |
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