Shy at weird times

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Youngest [4] is generally a very outgoing, exuberant kid. He's got speech delays, and his conversation is still a bit garbled, but he doesn't hesitate to speak his mind. Loudly. At great length.

Unless he's playing. He plays elaborate games with his toys, making laser sounds and explosions, and giving instructions and (more often than not) making Wild Kratts references. "Oh, no! Look out, Zackbot!" and that sort of thing.

When I ask him about what he's playing, Youngest seems to get embarrassed about it. He won't answer, and will literally hide his face. If I try to get involved in his play, I get an indignant "Leave me ALONE!" So I do, post haste.

(Youngest also will NOT let me sing in his presence. "Stop singing, daddy!" I'm tone deaf, however, so that probably just indicates that he has taste.)

He often asks to talk to me on the phone. When he does, he mumbles, won't answer any questions, and will hand the phone to his mother and run away after a few seconds.

Today, she heard Youngest having an elaborate pretend conversation with me on an old cell phone, with his providing full and comprehensible answers to all the sorts of questions that I usually ask him.

This isn't something that I'm really concerned about; I am, however, really curious about it, and what it might mean. Should I be pushing him a bit more? I don't want to upset him, but I'm told that we should be trying to get him to communicate more, and that challenging him a little is part of that.

That is interesting, don't you wish you could get inside their little heads sometimes? My DS gets embarrasses when we are at school and I bring up something that we do at home. Others here have talked about how their kids like to keep things compartmentalized. Maybe this is how he feels about his play at certain times? It's his world and his idea about how things are supposed to happen doesn't include anyone sharing it with him?

Perhaps his mother could encourage the "practice" phone conversations more when the opportunity arises and then when he actually talks to you on the phone she could prmopt him to do it just like he practiced.

It is a hard thing to figure out when to push and when to hold back.

Probably prefers playing alone. For me playing is something done by myself to relax rather than analyze what to say in conversations. If you want to get involved though you can let him set up the game and go off of that...as long as it doesn't get too bizarre.

I agree that he may prefer to do pretend play alone. However, maybe you could figure out some other things that you two could do together--crafts, board games, outdoor activities, etc. Also, maybe if you initiated the play at a time when he is not already busy, things would go better. Maybe when he's watching TV (not his favorite show), you could invite him to do something with him.

Neither of my kids much care for the phone. They are both very visual, and my younger son sees it as kind of a toy rather than a communication device. Skype (which lets them see the other person on the computer screen) works a lot better when they need to talk to people who are not around.