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Hi all,
My 9 yr old aspie son has another 9 year old boy over for a sleep over. This other boy is NT and extremely understanding of J's quirkyness . Unfortunatly this boy used to be in my sons class, but he and his family moved to the country about 6 weeks ago.

The boys mum knew that J had been having a hard time at school and rang the other day to suggest a sleep over. Well the day has been great so far my boy has been laughing and running around etc etc (all the things he hasn't done in a long long time)

Evening has set in, it's almost J's usual bedtime. The boys have a movie on, J is watching avidly and the other boy looks bored, he asks J if he wants to play with him, J looks at the boy and says "No!". The boy is shocked and asks why not. J looks some more, says nothing and its back to the movie. The boy gives up and goes to j's room to find something to play with.

If I intervene I know I will be asking for trouble. J has been really social all day, he's had enough now, he needs his down time. I guess most of you will understand this need.

This happens with all kids, AS or NT. It is normal not to want to do the same things all the time. However, being AS, I can sympathise. I can take social interaction for only so long before I shut down.

I think it was right not to intervene. Kids work it out between themselves. I do make a point of telling my kids, though, that they are the host, so must be a little less self-centred when a friend is over. It doesn't always work.

The only thing I might do is mention it to the other boys mom - then if her son brings it up she can explain that your son wanted to keep watching the movie. Likely, if he didn't say that its because he thought it was obvious thats what he wanted and/or thought the boy was criticizing him for asking why not (thats how i most likely would have taken such a question)

My son is 11 and the same way - he has a NT friend that gets along really well with him but after 2 or 3 hours (depending on the day he's having) he's just done. Yesterday he told me "I think it's time for Noah to go home now" They completely get my son and were not offended at all- they actually love that my son is son upfront and honest. It was time - they'd run out of things to talk about or do.

His mom sometimes comes over while they play together and we talk the whole time - it's wonderful but exhausting at the same time- I find that I am drained after spending an afternoon with her because she could talk for hours! not me- I need a limit on it so do some kids.

About the only way I'd intervene in this case is to explain to the other kid that J needs a bit of time to veg out with his movie, it's not because he doesn't like the kid anymore. Otherwise, yeah, they'll work it out.

I've always made a point to do this.

I think a solid and understanding NT friend is one of the best gifts kids like ours can have. I am glad your son has a friend like that, Aurea.