Can anyone teach me how to not care?

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It won't be hard to use it on others, they aren't gonna be nice in the fast food world, I find it easier to get sarcastic towards others when they aren't being nice, kind of the way shake just gets sarcastic towards anyone not rolling out the red carpet, it's a skill you pick up. I swear though, you're ready to get out and show the world some sarcasm.

Sarcasm is a very good defense mechanism, because it protects who you are as a person. If you were to say something offensive in a sarcastic way, you can always back-track. Sarcasm protects you from being attacked, and gives you the upper-hand should somebody chose to verbally assault you for something you have said.

As for not caring, i don't think you can psycologically achieve it, i think people are just born not caring. You could try being more stoic, that involves supressing emotions.

You'll have to give me some examples of what makes you emotional and why it makes you emotional.

I can identify with those feelings, I just had a situation with my roomate and they know a guy who can get pissed when he gets poked fun of.

You have to realize that people aren't always trying to get you upset, but sometimes they just are and will go through extreme measures to get it out of you. You came to the right place for advice on how to keep your cool.

Have you seen the movie "Thank you for smoking"
That movie shows a guy who just flips the argument into the finger pointer and royally pisses them off. I mean does he lack a concience? He can defend a dying 8 year old kid by making anti-tobacco lobbyists look bad. That movie isn't about the virtues of a cigarette, that movie is about the virtues of standing your ground for people who want to get a rise out of you.

I still shake up when people gather around me for a good taunting (and they know it), but I'm not the one who has to plaster up my wall after getting my head smashed through it (I'd like to point out that I DIDN'T start that fight), I can always walk away feeling good.

It's not just sarcasm - the slightest lapse from saying only things that pass the test of complete blandness can lead to rejection and ostracism.

If I wasn't a dedicated and incurable optimist, I'd ...

No, don't go there. I'm not even an optimist any longer. Just irrevocably stubborn.

That was my roomate situaton exactly. One time I showed up in the game room and I'm waiting for JAG to be over with because my roomate and I will go to the gym afterwards. I hate the show JAG because I can't stand that one marine, I mean you're supposed to like her, but she comes off as a real b***h when I watch the show and then they spend the ther half of it trying to make her look down to earth again, not my cup of tea.

I told my roomate and he told me I could leave if I was gonna complain about the show (didn't seem to realize that I wanted to go to the gym with a spotter), my solution? I went to the gym on my own after that, I'm in pretty good shape and he still lives in the gameroom watching JAG and playing halo all day.

I'm really getting the vibe that you're in a rough spot, I mean living under the kind of scrutiny I'm reading about is just stressful and makes you want to defend yourself. You seem to realize how capable you are of pushing things when people try to flip arguments on you, there's a difference between correcting you and straight up calling you out and making you feel bad for expressing yourself.

There are all kinds of outlets and they all come with warning labels. I mean you could go to a church to get away from it all (especially one that they wouldn't like), but the church will try to establish some control over you (intentionally or unintentionally). You could let a man into your life, but men are out for something and you could end up feeling very used when they go out clubbing with their friends and act like nothing ever happened. Even a little mary jane isn't the absolute answer here, but you probably knew all of this to begin with, I had to either learn the hard way, or had to watch my siblings go through it (I have a lot of sisters).

It's pretty clear to me that you need some kind of outlet from the house though, I don't think you even want to hate them for not understanding, so you don't have to do that unless they're just pushing it out of you, but I think you do need to get out in the world they're hiding you from (or maybe they're hiding it from you) and find out for yourself. If you start tuning your family out just a little though, they'll get the hint that you didn't appreciate them degrading you (a lot of us know how that feels).

I really wish I were older, I really do.

a) you get drunk.
b) You smoke something, anything really.
c) Be more selfish and angry at the world, assume what is your fault is actually because that other jerk in the corner. That jerk just ruined your life, go punch his lights out!

Please note that if you do these things all the time, you will be a smartass and no body will like you. Do it on your own time when the people you actually care about aren't nearby. I wouldn't reccommend doing it at work. School's okay though, you're not getting paid.