my mum has died.dont know how to feel

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there is no "right way" to cope with such an event, whether it feels like a loss, makes you feel relief, guilt, sadness, anger, and/or any other emotions. If you feel numb, thats OK too. Don't "should" yourself, everybody is different, and every relationship we have ( or don't have) will be different. Do what is right for you , don't let others "should" you either. Hope you find peace and resolution/ self understanding going forward from here.