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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Dillogic
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21 Dec 2011, 6:25 am

4 years.... Love. Hope. Pain. Loss. Sacrifice. Trust. Dedication. Sharing. Listening. Loving. Care. Caring. Wishing. Holding. Bleeding. Laughing. Lounging. Walking. Together. Bond. Partner. Rings. Promises. First kiss. Holding hands. Tears. Crying. Giving. Smiling. Helping. Healing. Forever. Friends. Family. Everything.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gone, due autism. Never to see again. Can't even say goodbye properly.

Tears, dreams, they never stop.



Who_Am_I
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21 Dec 2011, 6:28 am

Dillogic wrote:
4 years.... Love. Hope. Pain. Loss. Sacrifice. Trust. Dedication. Sharing. Listening. Loving. Care. Caring. Wishing. Holding. Bleeding. Laughing. Lounging. Walking. Together. Bond. Partner. Rings. Promises. First kiss. Holding hands. Tears. Crying. Giving. Smiling. Helping. Healing. Forever. Friends. Family. Everything.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gone, due autism. Never to see again. Can't even say goodbye properly.

Tears, dreams, they never stop.


You forgot:
Demands.
Ultimatums.
Suicide attempts.
Demands for more than you could give.
Hurting your friends.
Lies and manipulation.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


MXH
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21 Dec 2011, 8:52 am

-10, why bother really



Dillogic
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21 Dec 2011, 9:27 am

Rachel,

I understand why she did the things she did; I don't condone them, but I know why. It was that good, between her and me. As much as I want her back, as much as I want to give her all she wanted (and I would; I'd find a way), I couldn't do what she did to get me back, as we're different there. Another good book with a sad ending, written in history.

Written with tears, the truth.

I'll always love her.

(I'd rather no reply; I'd rather let the the sourness and sweetness intermix, forming the life her and I shared, for that fleeting, unique moment in the forever of time.)



Who_Am_I
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21 Dec 2011, 9:29 am

I still have nightmares about it.

I understand that speaking of it is your therapy, and I'd rather you spoke of it than not, though.

And "all that she wanted"- part of what she wanted involved me hurting beyond belief and thinking that the care was gone, forever.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Dillogic
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21 Dec 2011, 9:34 am

That's the sourness, and I'm sorry.



Who_Am_I
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21 Dec 2011, 9:39 am

Thanks.
Rachel is just having a bad night for being able to deal with stuff.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Alternative
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21 Dec 2011, 10:54 am

0.

Must...not...procrastinate!



Sweetleaf
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21 Dec 2011, 1:46 pm

-10 It feels like I'm being crushed by an avalanche of depression.


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Alternative
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21 Dec 2011, 2:26 pm

Big hug to Sweetleaf. :)

I'm more of a 5 now. :)



hyperlexian
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21 Dec 2011, 2:44 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Thanks.
Rachel is just having a bad night for being able to deal with stuff.

well, i think it is pretty reasonable that it would be hard for you to deal with. Daniel is lucky to have you as a friend if you are able to support him like this after all of that hurt (it's on the public forum, no secret). i sincerely hope that the future does not bring more pain like the past. (((((hugs)))))


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Who_Am_I
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21 Dec 2011, 5:11 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Thanks.
Rachel is just having a bad night for being able to deal with stuff.

well, i think it is pretty reasonable that it would be hard for you to deal with. Daniel is lucky to have you as a friend if you are able to support him like this after all of that hurt (it's on the public forum, no secret). i sincerely hope that the future does not bring more pain like the past. (((((hugs)))))


Thank you.

+3

Sick.

Two positive points because Daniel sent me a goodnight message last night despite being upset and overwhelmed, and I know how much effort it costs him to find any words under those circumstances.

Another positive point for someone saying, in regards to my photography, that I have "an artists eye".


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


emlion
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21 Dec 2011, 5:57 pm

+5 :D

Image



Trigas
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21 Dec 2011, 6:07 pm

Bout a 4 right now


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blue_bean
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21 Dec 2011, 7:24 pm

Quote:
I understand why she did the things she did


She doesn't deserve as much as understanding either.



Ozzer
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21 Dec 2011, 7:37 pm

-10 (can I go lower than that?)
Emergency dental appointment resulted in two broken wisdom teeth being pulled today (on my birthday). Both were impacted and shattered and needed to be dug out. My insurance doesn't cover much of anything... so they weren't able to give me anything to calm me down. Sitting there and listening to the teeth cracking and ripping was terrible. Now there are stitches in my mouth and he left the ends really long so they rub against everything and they won't stop bleeding and it hurts like hell. My husband wants to help but no matter how much I try to explain it to him he isn't getting how. Now he is sitting in the other room reading a newspaper while I really wish he was spending time with me. I'm sick of being an adult. I hate the fact that the dentist tried to tell my mother 9 years ago that I needed to have my wisdom teeth out (when I was on great insurance that covered everything) All I want to do is curl up in a little ball and cry but that only makes things hurt worse. I know this is ridiculous. It's minor stuff. However, on top of everything else I don't know if I can handle it. I just want to give up and be done with all of this.