scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-1

-5
Fairly low and anxious. I don't post here often. Posting on WrongPlanet is usually a sign that things are bad for me.

-2. My house is a wreck. My kids are spoiled little twerps. Speaking of spoiled, I have hunted the county for a Batman costume to no avail. I am not looking forward to the fit my son is going to throw if he doesn't get a Batman costume.

So suck it up, buy some black sweats and a gold Sharpie, cut up a big garbage bag for a cape, and tell the kid that the other kids are a**holes when they make fun of him. Or go buy a bobbin for the stupid sewing machine and turn the ruined black wool pants into a really, really, really cool cape that he can use for years and years and years.

Oh, that everyone could have my problems.

I can't find a solution to the Appalachian problem. Colonial economy, aging population, brain drain. I can't convince anyone from outside that the problem exists or that the problem is a problem instead of how things should be. I can't convince anyone from inside that the problem can have a solution if we can just come up with an implement one.

I don't want to fix the world. I just want to fix my little corner of it. Everyone seems to be waiting for some deus ex machina; meanwhile no one outside the problem knows what the problem is or even that there is a problem.

Bitter ironies.

"Someday I'll go home, and I know I'll right the wrongs, and these troubled times will follow me no more." -- Hazel Dickens, "The Green Rolling Hills of West Virginia"

OK. I'm as close to home as I'm going to get. NOW WHAT?????

+1 trying to gain some confidence..

-15. lets see how low this will go

+10..........i......[-8]..-10

On the very razor's edge of being laid off at work and replaced by cheap, worthless part-timers.

[sigh] At least I'm not penniless... I can go back to skool and work part-time or something.

-9 please hold this and pull that while pointing right here.

+1 Maybe my mind is right, I've taken enough sh*t and shouldn't take anymore from anyone. hmm thought if my last doctors appointment didn't land me in the psych ward I would have freaked out right there or next couple days and been taken to one anyways. But since that I've not really felt much about it.........not even sure what to think anymore which just leaves me where I was to begin with.

+10..........i......[-8.5]..-10

Sick - can't even get out of bed. Called in to work to stay home so I'm almost certain to be fired now. Gad... why can't a job just be about WORK instead of a @#$% social club??

+3.

-3. Just when I think I have the hang of NT bulls*** I suffer another setback. Great.

-5.

My life is good but I still remember the hurts. I did everything I was supposed to do and got kicked and slapped down anyway.

I hurt and I hate and it is never going to go away. Hate sucks.

I should be thinking how much better off I am.

Not in agonizing physical pain.

Able to articulate thoughts and feelings.

Able to have hopes and wishes and desires and get stuff done.

Taking care of my kids. Living in a home of our own.

Warm. Dry. Fed. A hell of a lot happier than I was a year ago. It's people I hate, not myself.

So stop sitting here feeling sorry for myself and go wash dishes. And clean house. And feel sorry for myself while I do it, but at least get things done.

+3 Okay I think.

+1, but still rather empty...feels kinda weird, but it seems there may be hope with meds, once I can get on a regular working dose I might be able to better tolerate certain jobs and be able to work rather than get on SSI anyways. Or maybe I could find something that does not give me enough income to not be qualified for SSI. Or I could still stick with trying to get on SSI and then when on that I would be up for volunteering and such to gain experience maybe.

But even so the pain will never truly heal and the emptiness is likely to remain, so its hard to stay motivated to move in any direction knowing that.

+10........[-1].........-10

I haven't been fired yet and decent things are around the corner - but the threat still looms and I'm tired & stressed to the point of near-shutdown.

All in all... not terrible, not great... meh. *shrug*