scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+4.25

0, Who the hell am I, who do I wan't to be, can I be that person so confusing I don't know what I want because as Europe says 'You know it ain't easy, When you don't know what do you want.' I so need a Europe patch for my vest, had a pin on button but I lost it somewhere.

-3

I have no thirst for life. I can't be bothered to end my life. I just exist. I am unhappy.

-3 After all this time I feel like I have achieved nothing. As I don't exceed at ANYTHING I just feel like I exist. Feels like years have been wasted and time is constantly slipping through my fingers. Do I even have a purpose? Will anything I apply myself to just be a constant mind crushing struggle that I will unhappily scrape by in? Probably, since its all I've ever done.

-5....... I want to give up. Not my life, though.

2.5+

-4 Woke up today and felt the same as I did before I went to sleep. I don't want my life to amount to nothing or a constant struggle like my previous endeavours, but one or the other seem highly likely since I'm a low functioning waste of oxygen. Sometimes I wish I wasn't alive at all as I know I will make no big impact anywhere and the only purpose I serve is using up resources. Is this life better than the unknown? I really hope not.

+5 for now, but in general not so great....considering the psych ward again. I am currently procrastinating on phone calls, to try and get an AS or autism spectrum assessment, but yeah I am sick of stupid symptoms getting in the way with everything can't even avoid making an ass of myself due to not getting things, taking things wrong or just being all anxious and depressed, obviously it makes me want to avoid people to not bother them with it and makes people end up avoiding me.

Can't say I really care about the cost or whatever the hell anymore, they can't squeeze blood out of a stone...but yeah even if I don't totally make a plan for suicide what is to stop me from getting carried away and overdosing on alcohol and my meds. Had a dream about doing that mostly by accident because in the dream I was too drunk to realize what I was doing. Anyways screw all that rambling might as well enjoy the +5 for a while.

+5.55

-10
had big expectations and hope of luck all crashed

-5. Can't catch a break.

I know when I'm -10 by my total lack of motivation for everything too and the binging that goes with it

pure zero... relaxed and comfortable - yet stressed and confused that my workplace has me on paid leave for 2 days now while they decide to keep me or let me go. Odd that the process would be so long & complicated... if they really wanted me gone, they'd just fire me and move on!

Had a short-but-nice visit with the kids after bribing the ex with a steak dinner to get it. Now I miss them all the more...

Life is weird.

+3 Feeling good for the moment.

+2

about 0, bang in the middle of the scale.