scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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It's not being a celeb, it's being wealthy. Carrie Fisher could afford to pay for medications out of pocket, whereas if Marknis is only able to access medication via insurance**, the companies have protocols in place to ensure cheaper medications with a longer history of working get tried first.


** I'm only guessing, I have no idea if this is the case.

I'm like +13 right now, but it'll pass.

-600


i'm pathetic.

A person who can speak multiple languages quite fluently, languages that you learned for purely academic reasons on your own mind you, is the last person I'd ever consider pathetic. You honestly impress me as a smart and talented person; hold your chin up high and be proud of your gifts because honestly many people would genuinely wish to be as smart and talented as you.

-8, there's someone here who seemed incredibly bitter but luckily the user hasn't been active in a very long time.

QFT

Yes even Kip's artwork shows his mind is awesome.

Well said, salad. (Funny, how that sounds).

But I was thinking about this yesterday, that 'pathetic' is not necessarily a reflection on a person in the first place. For instance school bullies (girls only did this boys are not so horrible) would push, kick and call me pathetic among other things. But in retrospect a vulnerable person being bullied IS pathetic. That reflects on the situation, the person's ordeal and the other people's cruelty. It's a word that could be applied to a wounded animal.

It's not a reflection of character or worth. Simply a situation or state that is not necessarily permanent, nor is it 'deserved'...

The mindset that some ppl earn the right to be respected is a foolish and moronic one. It's likely something a psychopath came up with. I shouldn't respect a person in a wheelchair? I shouldn't respect a child and a child's rights since they didn't live long enough to 'earn' it yet?

0

0, still numbed but still hanging in there.

2. I feel resigned to fate.some Things people take for granted i will never have. Now should come to terms with it.

-1

I've done my best to stay away, managed for a week until I felt too isolated (will posting this help that?). Quit my job and school. Couldn't do it anymore, used up what I had left to give in the first week. Don't want to hear about how now I'm destined to be a garbage collector. Trying to keep to myself and not bother anyone. But I'm being whiny and bothersome right now so I guess I'm contradicting that. Sorry. I'd like to spare people from dealing with me but I don't think I can survive in complete isolation. I'd also like to spare myself from the pain of meeting people only to watch them drift further away the more they get to know me, if they attempt to at all. I'm going to go be alone now.

zero: there isn’t any stimulating conversation to be had here, no worthwhile places of study to escape to, almost no cultural diversity, and the migraines are much worse from the weather. it’s truly the most depressing mind numbing place ever been... the natural beauty(compared to california), comes nowhere close to making up for all it lacks unless here to find a place to lie down, and die.

-7

3. I don't want to be happy if it will be taken away from me.

6

-3 Just one word - depression.

4

It was like a 6 (I had a really great weekend, and felt recharged), but I just dropped my class. I suppose I should view it as a way to give myself a break and not work myself into the ground like I'm doing... but I can't help but feel like it's some sort of personal failure. I know it was the right decision. My whole life's been recently flipped on its head and I'm still trying to make sense of it, and find some balance. I haven't found it yet. As a result, I don't have the time or energy to put into the class. It'll just push me back a little more... sigh. At this rate, I sometimes wonder if I actually ever will apply to medical school, or if it's just all in vain. I don't want to accept this. I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me, so... I just feel like I need to do it. And I'm a single parent and I've got a full-time career that pays well, you'd think I should just tell myself I'm enough, and it's enough. But I just can't.

It'll be full steam ahead again in the summer or fall.