I was on the way to work this morning, zip zip zoomin' along... I like to speed just to justify the "additional risk" that my state-mandated financial rape company (a.k.a. auto insurance) feels justified in charging me for an earlier case of state-sanctioned financial rape (a.k.a. a speeding ticket) from a few years ago; to do anything else would be just not getting my money's worth... In any case, I spotted a police cruiser by the side of the road just around a curve up ahead, which is unusual, because I live in the wilds and there's not a lot of money to be harvested from the citizenry out here, so the police typically set their revenue-generating racket up elsewhere. But, in any case, I toss it down into second gear and decelerate to the arbitrarily defined legal definition of a "safe" speed. As I round the bend, I notice there's a second vehicle, a very shiny and new looking SUV cruiser. And then I see what they're doing there: an older small pickup has apparently slammed head-on into a telephone pole just off the road; things slow to bullet-time as I gather the details; no skid marks; old truck with primitive safety measures; perfectly centered hit on the pole; large circular shatter in the windshield just about where an unrestrained driver's head would hit. My gut tells me someone nailed that poll on purpose, some poor fool whose grown overly tired of this machine of life that we're all born into. Now, if you're thinking that seeing something like this might encourage me to slow down, you know me not a whit; I consider the value of my life insurance policy, and find myself lamenting the fact that my Jeep has a full array of airbags; even if I unfastened my seatbelt, it'd be difficult to reproduce what I just saw; which is, of course, why I also own a motorcycle, and also why I laugh off people who assume I'm an idiot and tell me they are unsafe.
Just as I pass the truck and take a mental snapshot, I hear the voice of Indiana Jones in my head... "Fortune and glory, kid... Fortune and glory." OK, that was strange. But then I notice that I'm stuck in bullet time; everything seems to be moving very slowly; I can't see the big picture any more; all I can do is focus on the details as they pass me by. Most of the details are meaningless to me, but I find that a few of them are actually cheering me up now that I have the time to take them in. And then I notice that this effect seems to be cumulative, seems to be cheering me up for some bizarre reason; so, I decided to keep score; I thought of this forum, and of my normal operating temperature of 0; every little detail is worth a positive 10th of a point.
Let's add it up: a crow swoops into the road in front of me to grab some scrap of food; I know he's cognizant of his approaching death, and I do not alter my course; he swoops out of the way just in time, as I knew he would. +0.1. A huge old willow tree hanging over part of the road. +0.2. An old, classic green jeep parked by the road. +0.3. A pretty blonde in tight spandex jogging along the opposite side of the road. +0.4. An oldish lady with dark red hair walking two dogs twice her size. +0.5. A pleasantly plump dirty blonde in a hardhat and orange construction vest, holding an orange SLOW sign and staring dreamily off into space as I pass. +0.6. Another crow swoops down from a house on a side street I pass, and glides across the road at exactly the same speed I'm going (I love crows). +0.7. A green Ford Explorer with a plastic cargo container on it's roof, and on the container is a red and gold "Semper Fi" sticker. +0.8. The coffee babe that takes my morning espresso order corrects my grammar. +0.9. At yet another construction spot, I'm stopped as a large tracked backhoe is carefully driven up out of the street, over a concrete curb; the curb cracks and shatters as the backhoe drives over it. +1.0. A third crow is sitting on a mysteriously placed "traffic" camera, peering directly at me in exactly the same manner that the camera is. +1.1. A pair of medium-sized birch trees with beautiful white bark along the side of the road. +1.2. A blue and silver mylar balloon stuck near the top of a large oak tree. +1.3. A pretty but damaged looking emo girl crosses in walk right in front of me while I'm stopped at a red light; she's pale as a ghost and has black hair with crimson streaks, and is off in her own world listening to an iPod. +1.4. A baby willow tree, just planted in somebody's yard. +1.5. A yuppie looking fellow pushing a tot in one of those jogging strollers; he looks so yuppie, but he's got a tribal tat on the back of this right calf. +1.6. An old flat-white full-sized Ford pickup parked by the road. +1.7. An old house that I pass has an ancient-looking wood door with a rounded top. +1.8. I pass a parking garage that has vines creeping up three stories, all the way to it's top. +1.9. And let's add another 10th of a point, just as a tip. +2.0.
Ha! 2.0; and I've just arrived at work; it's all about the math; I knew I should've gone for a full math major; I need to go back and fix that.
But in the mean time, I will simply contemplate the physical process of sublimation, and how it might be applied so something as ethereal as one's soul; something like that happens to every one of us, every second of every day, after all; we should understand it better than we do, I think.
Good fortune,
- Icarus is Extremely Volatile
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Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.
20 Sep 2007, 8:10 pm
