I don't feel like a particularly good person

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Joined: 12 May 2007
Gender: Male
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Location: England

20 Oct 2010, 8:09 pm

I have done wrong things, indulged sadistically by getting motivation to do stuff I want to do through relatively unfortunate events.
I guess I've given into OCD urges a bit? Or taken a bit too much delight in the negativity or something? Reading about how some people in a book, who did astonishing things, but some of them were a little bit sadistic may contribute a little.

There is something a little bit wrong with my mindset altogether - it hasn't felt correct for a while now.

Work ethic is improving, but everything else feels like it has vanished a bit.

I don't want to be cynical, slightly harsh, or closed off to nature.

I have had enough of feeling slightly corrupted.

Heck - here is a lovely tune from Mozart to express joy I wish I could feel.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCSevzJQ2-Y[/youtube]

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conundrum
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20 Oct 2010, 8:33 pm

I've always liked that piece too--thanks for sharing.

If you want to talk more about this please PM me.

((((Hug)))) Take care.

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The existence of the leader who is wise
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He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17

Ackman
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20 Oct 2010, 8:46 pm

I never was a good person.

CockneyRebel
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20 Oct 2010, 8:53 pm

((((((Hugs)))))) I hope you feel better, soon.

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auntblabby
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20 Oct 2010, 11:29 pm

samtoo, the fact that you are thinking about it at all means you are on the right track.

sufi
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21 Oct 2010, 4:09 am

maybe get involved in doing good thing. Kinda like practice.
Volunteer - Habitat for Humanity, hospital, animal shelter, illiteracy program, Big Brother,
Toy's for Tots, etc.
Practice doing good thing. Feel good about doing good things. Don't just sit around and wish for it.

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If you have one option you have an obsession.
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"I'm not too crazy about reality, but it's the only place to get a decent meal.

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