I feel so dirty...

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Whenever I do something wrong or say something bad... that someone yells at me for or well, i hurt by... I feel dirty. I feel like it jut makes me feel worthless. To the point where I wish I was dead. >_____< I don't know if its normal to feel this way since I know a lot of autistics don't know the things they did wrong.

But it just makes me feel bad... so I don't know if its normal. D: Like sometimes its not just the things I say or get yelled at for. It happens every time something happens. It seems like it would just be guilt but this is far worse than guilt.

People on the spectrum often have a very strong drive to be right, so it can be especially disappointing if you discover that you were, in fact, wrong (whether factually wrong or behaving wrongly).

Maybe that is what you are experiencing.

I know exactly what you are talking about. It's debilitating. It's not just guilt but... almost... disgust or fear at having done something wrong. I remember the most trivial of things that I think were wrong or stupid or hurt someone. I can't let them go. I obsess over them and feel terrible about them. Way worse than guilt. And I can't stand any time authority is upset with me even vaguely. I just feel like a terrible person or like they can't stand me or.... something. It's so hard to articulate! Just know that I feel the way you feel.