I feel like I'm turning into a different person

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My autism symptoms have been getting worse and I can feel myself slipping backward and backward. I was a relatively happy person who had no problem going to his few classes as well as choir weekly. The one thing everyone knew about me was how much I loved music.

Now, I tried to drop out of choir (the director instead gave me accommodations such as I can miss rehearsal or leave halfway during the break) and I can't spend more than an hour in the company of people before needing to be alone. I've been stimming in public when usually I can do it in a way you wouldn't notice, and rock when I was home alone... now I'm rocking in public. I don't want to see any one, I don't want to go to choir tomorrow because I know the noise will be too intense.

It's like who I am has changed. I don't sing any more, I just pace my room twirling my fingers and repetitively listening to the same song.

I think this is a result of losing my structure when I got sick and had to drop out of school. (the classes I attend now are attended unofficially)

But I'm scared. I can feel myself becoming a recluse and I don't know what to do.

*hugs* I know exactly how that feels. Even a thing you love becomes a burden when you have to do it around other people.

I'm on Celexa for my social anxiety.

Thanks. I feel like I'm getting more autistic and that's scaring me because if I don't get myself together I may need to take some more time off school.

I'm bipolar as well as Autistic and they put me on Celexa once and it aggravated the bipolar. I've tried Zoloft for anxiety as well, but the side effects were too bad.

Your right, you will do better in the long run participating fully in life, and that with lesson the effects of the autism, as you learn a wider range of behaviors. Its up to you to figure out exactly what to do though.

Hey Dots,
I have a question: are you on testosterone?
My partner is FTM, and we both notice lots of changes since he started HTR.
Going through transition is a very hard thing for everyone - so hang in there, and give yourself a tap on the shoulder...it will get better.

(English is not my maternal language, sorry if I made any mistakes)

thank you very much, soulofthegypsy. Yes, I'm on testosterone. On April 4th it will be 2 years. Maybe you're right, maybe a hormone fluctuation could be causing this.

If anyone else has comfort, support, or advice, I'd appreciate it. My only communication is typing or one or two words if someone catches me outside my room. (live in house of university students).

I haven't been able to go to choir, or the class I'm auditing. I'm terrified this is permanent and I won't be able to finish university.

Please, once you regress, how do you climb back out?