i feel used and hurt.

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my friend came to visit another friend of hers in my city, and she invited me to come along with them for drinks last night.
before she moved to the coast, 2 hours away from me, we were pretty good friends. i wouldn't say we were besties, but we saw each other once a week and we always had fun together.

about a month ago, i visited her for 2 days because she asked me to come see her. i brought one of her guy friends with me and we drove out to see her. i paid for gas and a hotel room and i gave her rides to the bars we went to and stuff. we had a great time and i didn't feel like there was anything wrong with our friendship.

well, last night she was here in town, and she said she wanted to see me. i was so excited to see her. i got to the bar that they (she and her arrogant, domineering gay male friend) were at, ordered my drinks, and joined their conversation. they made almost no effort to include me and she seemed kind of um, guarded around me. like she didn't like me anymore and didn't really trust me or agree with anything i had to say. they were talking about leaving the bar to go to his apartment and asked me to drive them there. i said i couldn't drive because i was intoxicated, so we decided to go to another bar and dance for a while. but once we got there, her friend said he was having his dad pick both of them up and they had to leave NOW. they didn't even invite me.

they apologized and left me all alone in an alleyway by a bar. unable to go anywhere. i mean what. the. hell.
i told her that i was hurt that they didn't invite me and she made it seem like i was being the b***h. she said she thought i didn't want to drive and acted like i was being paranoid and insecure.
i am honestly hurt… i don't think i should talk to her ever again. am i overreacting?

It doesn't sound to me like you are over reacting.

My reading of her actions is that they are more than a bit cold. My reaction would be about the same as yours.

Something about this seems a little fishy... Does she usually ask for things like rides or money when she asks you to visit or comes to visit you?

so, how did you get home? I can't believe they left you alone in an alley.

Two's company. Three's a crowd. Sounds like her gay friend was jealous. Interesting, considering he wouldn't have been interested in her to begin with.

Note to self: It's no fun being a third wheel.

Sounds like her gay friend was severely intimidated by you, maybe both of you (being actual girls) or perhaps insecure in his gayness, and overreacted abysmally.
Seems like your friend was more likely trying to placate his hostility pointed irrationality at you by trying to be 'agreeable' with him, probably all the while hoping he'd notice he was out of line and become a "nice guy" again.
Of course he found a way to be a b***h and dump you, your presence seems to make him dislike himself.
Of course your friend agreed to go with him, she was most likely drunk-ish too and that makes for very poor judgement -the very reason you (wisely) chose not to drive. She probably can't remember it all too clearly even if she could have understood at the time just what the hell was going on in the first place.

So she probably has to try to figure out how to rationalize her decisions in a big fat hurry while trying to remember just what the hell happened as you're asking her about it. Her answers probably wont make sense because she was at least drunkish, wasn't sure what the hell was happening when it was happening and had no clue on how to stop/fix whatever it was that was going so wrong around her.

Often times in a breakdown in a three way situation, the 'middle' party will go with and be emotionally supportive of the weaker party because they "need it more", not at all because they're right.
In this case it seems to me she probably thought of you more like a strong teammate who could handle a situation that was bad for her too, rather than a whiny biyatch that she'd have to take back to his daddy and then help babysit.

I've found that I've burnt far too many bridges that -in hindsight- was more about the other person being lost or confused or unaware, than of my perception (imagination?) that they were hostile enemies pretending to be friends just to do marginally nasty things to me.

Perhaps being left in an alleyway wasn't super very bad (his dad's car can't come indoors) and you did find a place nearby that you could stay, in safely.

Sometimes I forget that a real life enemy would not merely say something possibly rude, but would try to murder me, chop off my arms and legs, or blow me up in a bus full of other people.

Or,
Maybe she's always been a b*tchwhore and you should dump her like a bad habit.

It seems like a lot of people think it's okay to drive unless they're just sloppy drunk. I mean, what it is, is what it is. And they probably think you're being overly meticulous and a stick in the mud.

Now, obviously, I think such people are very much mistaken. There are the risks of hurting yourself or someone else. Plus, the legal thresholds are low at like .07 or .08. As a man of about 150 pounds, I think I can reach this in about two drinks.

I think I agree with a fair amount of what 1401b said about the dynamics of three people interreacting.

Okay, so two perhaps good options at this point. One, assume she feels bad about this in spite of her defensive behavior, and continue with the friendship. Or two, undersell with just one particular point, perhaps saying, I wish you all had offered me a ride, or something else of your own choice.

She didn't care too much about how you was supposed to get home and whether you had to sleep on the street. She seems like an extremely selfish individual.

She is NOT your friend.

If somebody had treated my daughter like that I would be absolutely raging and out for blood.

Please be careful who you choose for your friends, I know that you are kind and you seem to want to please people but sometimes you have to protect yourself by not being so giving.

Anyway, I hope you are feeling a little bit better now.

I do not know what reasons or situation your friend was in that they had to leave 'now' ... but leaving you, alone, intoxicated, with your own car keys, in a bar you're not familiar with (you mentioned it was her & his gay friend's hangout?) is outright irresponsible.

Her attitude towards you also seems very aloof...almost as if what you do for her doesn't register. Perhaps she feels too entitled to your friendliness & things she gets from you for free? I don't know, you'd be in a better position to judge.

Personally I'd suggest you re-consider your friendship with this person. I would not trust someone who leaves me behind in a bar while almost drunk just because the acceptance/needs of her other social circles are more important then my safety.