I feel like I don't want to judge people anymore.

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

TW1ZTY
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,115
Location: The US of freakin A <_<

22 Oct 2018, 6:56 am

I used to be very judgemental and looked down on certain people for doing things that I thought were wrong.

But as I get older I realize that I'm really not much better and I have done bad things that I'm pretty ashamed of too. Plus I know how much it hurts to be judged by other people especially for things you can't help or are not your fault so it is really wrong for me to do the same to others.

Do you guys ever feel this way too?



Trueno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: UK

22 Oct 2018, 7:27 am

I totally agree. It's not always, but I often have to remind myself... who am I to judge.


_________________
Steve J

Unkind tongue, right ill hast thou me rendered
For such desert to do me wreak and shame


Piobaire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,347
Location: Smackass Gap, NC

22 Oct 2018, 7:45 am

"Despite all appearances, no one is really evil. They are led astray by ignorance. If you ponder this truth often you will offer more light rather that blame and condemnation."
Bhante Dhammika

This mindset can be really difficult for me to maintain in such a heavily Balkanized society where greed, hatred, and ignorance are celebrated as virtues and folks can be so sadistic, hateful, and cruel to one another; particularly those already vulnerable and suffering. I'm really struggling with this as it applies to our rulers, those who Tom Engelhardt refers to as "terrarists"; people who are literally committing terracide; the wholesale destruction of our ecosphere for the sole purpose of enriching that infinitesimally minute portion of humanity that is already obscenely rich while evidencing supreme indifference, even outright contempt, for the consequences of their actions for all future generations. I'm trying, however imperfectly, to see them not as evil per se, but as delusional people committing evil; separating the personal from the behavioral. They sure as hell don't make that easy to do.

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these."
Lloyd Shearer



TW1ZTY
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,115
Location: The US of freakin A <_<

22 Oct 2018, 7:59 am

One thing I have come to realize is that people who do bad things never believe that what they did was wrong at the time they were doing it. They always believe that what they did was justified somehow. Sometimes they regret it and realize they were wrong and sometimes they don't.

And yeah it is really hard to not judge people because of all the ignorant, selfish, and cruel things they do. But when you realize that you yourself have done the same things in life it changes your own perspective of other people.



SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia

22 Oct 2018, 8:25 am

It is good to try not to judge, but you should never completely stop judging people because that can be a bad thing and it can be dangerous. Not everyone is a good person, and if they are bad, you don't have to pretend they're not. I have done this, and should probably judge a little bit more than I do.

Everyone judges, but some do more than others. It's when people's feelings get hurt that it becomes a problem, so some opinions might be better to keep to yourself to avoid hurting people. It's still always good to be open and try to accept and understand.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 70 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

AQ: 40
RAADS-R: 149


TW1ZTY
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,115
Location: The US of freakin A <_<

22 Oct 2018, 8:32 am

SilentJessica wrote:
It is good to try not to judge, but you should never completely stop judging people because that can be a bad thing and it can be dangerous. Not everyone is a good person, and if they are bad, you don't have to pretend they're not. I have done this, and should probably judge a little bit more than I do.

Everyone judges, but some do more than others. It's when people's feelings get hurt that it becomes a problem, so some opinions might be better to keep to yourself to avoid hurting people. It's still always good to be open and try to accept and understand.


Yeah you are right. Some people don't deserve to be forgiven like the guy who murdered my aunt and my Mom's abusive ex-husband. I guess it is OK to judge people if they are hurting you personally. Especially when they don't really feel bad about it.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

22 Oct 2018, 8:55 pm

When I was a kid, I was hung-up on others following the rules & thought people who broke them deserved to be in trouble. Some of this was because I was in trouble aLOT as a kid for breaking rules I wasn't aware of or didn't know how to follow in my circumstances. I felt like I was being singled out when others were just as guilty or more guilty than me of breaking the rules. I'm not really like this too much anymore. I kind of realized that I should be forgiving of others not following rules(especially rules that don't really hurt anyone) because I was in trouble aLOT for that. I should remember how I felt when I was in trouble & how I really didn't believe it was fair. Perhaps others who break rules don't really understand them either or cant follow them for various reasons & others realize/notice they have issues & are more accommodating of them than me. It used to be kind of like a handicapped person not receiving reasonable accommodations, being upset at other handicapped people who do.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


TW1ZTY
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,115
Location: The US of freakin A <_<

22 Oct 2018, 10:10 pm

I think we Aspies tend to see things in very black and white terms but as we get older some of us slowly learn that the world isn't perfect and that it's ok for it to not be.