How do you deal with awkward/difficult people?

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What's the best thing to do if someone gives you rubbish?
Ignore them/walk away, because it's easy to do 100%  100%  [ 6 ]
Actively argue with them, because you know you deserve better 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 6

deep-techno
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12 Aug 2008, 6:02 am

This got me thinking. When my brother asked me, "If someone was giving you crap, what would you do?" and I couldn't answer it very well. I said, "I would ignore them and walk away, because it is the easiest and most diplomatic thing to do."

What is the most adequate way to deal with difficult people? It seems like a double-edged sword to me: if you stand there and put up with it, the other person may carry on giving you rubbish (or they might stop); if you retort and say exactly what you think of them, people around you may consider you aggressive or impolite. So it seems, either way, you can't win without having your social status changed.

What do you do when dealing with difficult people? Also, if someone walked up to you and threatened to beat you up, what would be the best thing to do? Tell them to f*** off? Although I haven't experienced anything like that yet, there's a first time for everything.

It would be helpful to hear your opinions. It would help me to make a distinction between the responses of my parents (who would go with the easy and diplomatic approach) and my brother's approach (to argue with the other person and say exactly what you think of him/her).


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Postperson
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12 Aug 2008, 6:23 am

agreeing with people deflects antagonism, so if they're insulting you, provided you don't care, just agree with them. It becomes sort of absurdly humourous...like "You're a XXXX" "yes, I am" said with a smile or something. Not sure if I've explained it very well, but it works, humour also deflects antagonism.



deep-techno
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12 Aug 2008, 6:48 am

That seems a good idea. Perhaps if there's someone in a shop for example, who is being deliberately awkward with me, I could say, "Yes, I was doing X. Sorry for making your life a misery."


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donkey
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12 Aug 2008, 8:42 am

there is an almost insistent approach that many AS take to all scenarios and situations, what rehearsed learned approach do i take to this?
the answer is: learn to walk away until you feel comfortable enough to handle confrentation.
there isnt a right "must do " answer that all As tend to need and want. in interacting with humans it is advisable to keep options open, which by its nature is difficult for As who need and want rehearsed responses and comebacks.
walk away it best, i didnt when i was younger, i got in a lot of fights.


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patternist
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12 Aug 2008, 9:36 am

I answered "walk away" but really, it depends on the situation. It's often right to walk away, but I find myself arguing far more than I should. Especially with bosses, police officers, etcetera. I try to get them to see my point of view. Even if they don't want to. And I'll be the first to admit, I've taken this too far sometimes.

I could never go along with something I didn't believe was right. It hurts. I actually argued with the director of my office once on the correct way to address a business letter in care of someone else. It was extremely painful to have to defer to him on something that I knew was gramattically incorrect. I should have walked away from that one before it even started.