freaked out on the social worker for the second time

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In additional to becoming overwhelmed by everything, the constant paperwork etc, she called me yesterday, which is a day I could have told you a month in advance I would have been upset by everything on (not only do have a hormonal imbalance, I have seizures which cause anger that are triggered by hormonal imbalances, and have too much of one hormone means i'll have too much medicine in my system and one of the common side effects causes anger - in short, hormones=intense rage or depression). I will be taking birth control pills next month so hopefully this is the last of the hormonal emotions.

yesterday she started to tell me that I'd be unable for medical assistance. Being as I was just starting to recover from a conversation with a bill collector who mistakenly told me I was ineligible for charity, I didn't take it to well. Screamed "Fine then I'll just die" and threw the phone across the room. Since she had the paper in her hand where the neurologist signed off on my dramatic hormonal seizure mood swings I don't think that was too unexpected.

As with the bill collector I had screamed at yesterday, I decided it best that I not answer when she call right back. Still upset today (as I said before this is the worst possible time of the month to be dealing with me) but knowing I needed to take action if I'm to get my medicine next month I had to call her again. I got a little too upset again though this time didn't yell, or throw the phone, just basically broke down in tears and said i couldn't handle this any more. So after about 10 minutes of telling me how to get mental health services for free where someone would handle the paper work issue for me, she let me know that as long as I do what she says, I'll still be able to get my medicine. The reason I have to do all this extra stuff is that my condition is ongoing - I have no idea what happened there, because she even said "temporarily" disabled yesterday, but now I'm supposed to go through the social security office. Which I've already been in the process of doing for about 4 months now - just how the disability physical last week.

At least I should still get my medicine the next few months. And hopefully the hormonal aspect will get worked out without me adding yet another medicine to my repetoire or making any lifelong enemies. The problem seems to be having higher than normal levels of Anti-seizure medicine in my blood, as while I was still bothered this time of the month before, I was never this bad until my last dosage increase.

I should have explained to this lady my seizure/pcos/medicine connection, but honestly I was too upset to care. She's giving me another social worker because of needing social security so hopefully, I won't get that lady till next week, when I can tell her to expect that I might be like this at the beginning of next month too.

I think I best stop putting off going back to the endocrinologist too, because I think yesterday and today just proved why I need my hormonal therapy closely monitored

Would you like me to pray for you?

I have a small suggestion until you can get things under control. Try typing out a "generic" letter to this person describing exactly what you just wrote here. As soon as you find out her name, send the letter to her. Also, while you are at it, it might be a good idea to write a quick apology note to the one that you will be leaving to leave on the best of terms JUST IN CASE you do end up working with her in the future. Who knows, these people might have desks right next to each other.

Too bad your meds are working against you as well as working for you. My cousin just found a med he claimed great for his ADHD, the best concentration he ever had. Went in for a routine exam and had a couple little side effects that didn't even bother him and they ripped him off them, apparently he was close to total kidney/liver shut down. fun fun fun. Hang in there, you'll find the right combination for you, it'll just be a rough road in the meantime.

Oh, and by the way, I don't blame you for throwing the phone after the bill collectors.

aww hope everything will go beter...hang in there

I feel your pain. I had to deal with a major fiasco a couple months ago. I couldn’t handle talking with the bureaucrats. I had to get a lawyer to talk to them for me, not because I wanted to pursue legal action against anyone but to safeguard me from going postal on someone.

f**k social workers, I had a hell of a time with them when I was 14.
As people have been saying, try to hang in there.

I used to freak out at them all the time (when I was in care); chances are they're used to it and have gotten far worse in the past. x)

actually this lady deserved this.

With the help of the EF, and a conversation with a supervisor, I discovered she's been blatantly lying to me about my eligibility for programs such as MA and her ability to obtain information that I can only get from her. She also been misdocumenting information I gave her, and as its information I told her numerous times, I can't see that being entirely unintentional

Unfortunately her supervisor was no where near as helpful as the one I spoke to first, but I'm contacting various people higher up to make sure she knows just how badly it is to lie to me. I assume part of the reason she's doing it now is because she knows her supervisor doesn't care. he might care tomorrow, when some of the higher government officals I contacted with whats going on call him though. I did make sure to inclue that I knew I was upset and had acted inappropriate at times, but also explained thats in large part due to the stress of the misinformation i've been given (the situation with her and her supervisor is actually to the point where I called someone who worked at the office, and wasn't a social worker just to get information I needed, because I knew I couldn't get it through her. I didn't identify myself but when he asked if I had been assigned a social worker I told him who she was and that I was calling him because my past dealings had shown i could trust him and I had caught my social worker in numerous lies and my complaints about her weren't being taken seriously)

I suspect she's trying to force me to use someone else to talk her (i'd say she's trying to get rid of speaking to me because of my first freaking out on her, but I know now that the reason i was upset was due to information she lied about, so she was like this from the get-go) And there's no way i'm going to let someone else talk to her, without my presence, when I can't trust her. After all, what would happen if the person who ends up being my assigned "advocate" ends up being just like her. Then I'm totally screwed over

She better as hell not have also lied about assigning me another worker when I send in proof of applying for SSI/SSD because i want her out of my life asap. If she did lie about that too, I already wrote some top state government officials and it will only take one of them to get involved to help me with her. All those political workshops and retreats I took for fun, where I got meet government reps and hear them tell what works to get them involved in an issue might come in handy in the upcoming weeks