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There's no need to take that tone of voice. I only suggested that blue could be better. If you insist on green, I'm not going to make a big fuss. You can keep the spaniel.

One must figure that the launching of a torpedo from a tube by way of HP air must put a lot of acoustic energy into the water.

Indeed. However, it being transient and aperiodic makes it hard to detect and localise. I would suspect that the use of knicker elastic would have some merit. The reload time might be a problem, as could be the availability of spares.

On the other hand, finding spare knickers could be made an easier task should we require the crew be cross dressers.

[camp]Hello sailor![/camp]

(couldn't resist. Please don't kill me)

And I repeat, there is no canibalism in the Royal Navy.

Dinsdale was a gentleman. And what's more, he knew how to treat a female impersonator.

The Piranah brother's greatest weapon was sarcasm.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZkWL-XvO0U[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-FDW1shmqA[/youtube]

"Dinsdale? Dinsdale? DINSSS-DAAAAAALE???"

Oh! It's Spiney Norman!

There are three ways to do this.

I usually recommend the direct "Hammer" approach, personally. It seldom fails, and is always reversible.

The second technique, which I'm sure you are very familiar with, is the classic "No-man's Land Triad". Quite where the description originates, no one is sure. The disadvantages here are quite obvious, but there are also several points on which it could be regarded as superior. E.g. the closeness of the shave.

Finally, there the old chestnut: the "Pink" method. Altogether unsatisfactory, in my opinion, but of course, the only way to operate if it is raining.

Good thing you said "pink" method. For if you had said the "Fink" method, I should have to run you I under the secfrecy act!

Secret comedy classes, as lectured at the Hollywood Bowl...

(Note, this is protected under the Official Secrets Act, the ASIO Act, the LMAO Act, and the time honored law of Futue te Ipsum, 44 BC.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Op2HmlBNk[/youtube]

And Now For Something Completely Different.

A man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose.

I want to go to Berlin.