I don't understand why I feel bad?

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My mother sent my father (Divorced) a text message saying something like, "Ash died peacefully in my arms at the vets office today.". Ash was our family dog for quite a few years... like maybe 11? The thing is that I didn't like him very much. I don't like dogs much... but he in particular was a very dense in the head dog. He was a chow chow. I guess I just don't understand the sudden empathy for an animal I couldn't stand. It almost jerked tears out of me (I can't cry so if I could I might have).

I'm not sure what the feeling is though. I think I felt bad for the little guy because he'd been suffering for a few years now. He's had some sort of cancer and growths had grown throughout his body and he even started to bleed internally and my mother couldn't afford to have surgery done on him. I guess even though I didn't like him I still felt bad that he was suffering. Although still I don't understand why I'd feel upset for it dying. If anything it's better that he died so that he isn't in so much pain.

I'm confused with myself

Whether you liked that dog or not, he was around for about half of your life. That's quiet a long time. Even if you did not really care about the dog one way or the other, you certainly have gotten used to having him around and now something is missing. Plus I think that his not having been well for some time might have its part in your reaction, too. Maybe a part of your reaction is also relieve. Not about the dog being gone, but about him not having to suffer anymore.

Whatever it is that makes you feel this way, I hope you will finally start to feel better again. If you feel like grieving that dog, do it. I have found that burying our dogs after they died help to handle the grief. If that is not an option in your case, perform a symbolic rite of passing like burning the dogs favourite blanket. That might help you to accept the fact that he's gone.

*sends Lace-Bane her best wishes for dealing with his current feelings*

many bereaving pet owners take comfort in the rainbow bridge. i believe animals have their resting place in heaven. to the OP, your animal is no longer suffering and is in a place of love. remember him with kindness, and be happy for his release.

It's because that dog had been a big part of your life.