How do you feel about emotionally needy people?

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How do you feel about needy people?
Can't cope with it, run a mile 26%  26%  [ 15 ]
Uncomfortable, but do the best I can to support them 50%  50%  [ 29 ]
No problem, happy to help, it might be me one day 24%  24%  [ 14 ]
Total votes : 58

Heidi80
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23 Jan 2013, 8:42 am

If they'll help me back when I need a shoulder to cry on, no problems



Zaswe12
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23 Jan 2013, 1:24 pm

I feel like they should shut up, and bother someone else.



Chloe33
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23 Jan 2013, 1:35 pm

There's been a lot of times in the past well at least a handful where either online or in person i have helped friends or people that were going through a turbulent emotional time.

I like to help people, lord knows how much emotional stuff i've dumped onto my psychologists of the past.
So i do like to help people, and if a friend is having some problems, i would much rather talk to them about what is bothering them if they call me than not address the issues at all.

For me personally, it is hard for me to trust others or tell them my problems. Other people seem open about this (i am referring to the ones i have helped in the past) so i help them without expecting anything in return.

Maybe it's been the decade of therapy, i've been through a lot of therapy and likely it has really helped me deal with others who may be having a problem. So i can talk to them and sometimes people just need to talk or get it out.

The type of people i wont deal with are those who feed off getting attention by acting or being needy when their problems are trite compared to homelessness, animal cruelty, and many equal rights causes we face. These type of people usually are Always
having an "issue" of a sort it seems a constant.

Other than that i like to help people. Also i feel bad for them as some people don't seem to get the level of attention they require and it's possible that creating "issues" or drama in order to get attention they don't normally get. Then again, possibly they may have a mental diagnosis that it could be related to.

I read an articles that said to stay away from the Borderline's Personality disorders problems or they'll suck you in. Now i've read many accounts of it happening to people. I had a good friend diagnosed BPD and she never sucked me into anything. It varies on the individual i guess..



scarp
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25 Jan 2013, 1:54 am

They make me extremely uncomfortable. Not angry or irritated or annoyed (although I guess sometimes annoyed), just uncomfortable. I don't know what to do for them. I feel inadequate, stupid and afraid.

Not too long ago I had a store clerk break down into tears because she said I reminded her of her younger brother who died a long time ago. Part of me wanted to hug and comfort her, but that part was smothered by the other, more prominent part of me which was flustered and panicked. I said a very hasty "I'm very sorry..." and fled.

For some reason I seem to be a magnet for very emotionally unstable people, and have even become the subject of stalking by one. I don't know what it is about me that screams "I'm here to comfort you about your troubles," but it makes me feel physically and mentally sick. I really wish I were better at that sort of thing. :(



auntblabby
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25 Jan 2013, 2:01 am

i do the best i can for people who need a shoulder to cry on. Image



chlov
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25 Jan 2013, 8:49 am

I don't care.



Vectorspace
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25 Jan 2013, 12:11 pm

If they have a concrete problem and I can help, I do so.
Otherwise, I'm a bit helpless because I'm so bad at empathy.

I wish more people shared their emotions with me, but I get the impression that few do.



Murderface
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25 Jan 2013, 9:39 pm

I was torn between 1 and 2. Sometimes I do try to help but alot of the time I feel like get away from me.


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emimeni
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25 Jan 2013, 10:49 pm

I might seem emotionally needy at times, if I trust you enough. But I try to reciprocate that support if I trust you, but only if I trust you. If I don't, please don't depend on me.


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Ettina
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26 Jan 2013, 9:12 am

I jump at the chance to help someone who's emotionally needy, because my obsessive interest is psychology. While listening to you and offerring sympathy, I'll be diagnosing you in my head. :D



Zilphy
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26 Jan 2013, 6:58 pm

I am no longer available as an emotional vomitorium. That is why we have mental health professionals, pastors, life coaches etc.... Please use them. Most people find they really don't want my opinion.


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Einfari
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27 Jan 2013, 12:37 am

If someone needs help, I try my best to support them and give them advice, but I'm not always successful. One of my ex friends even told me, a few years ago in high school, that I gave good advice because I have a blunt and practical approach to it. If people want honest advice, I'll be there for them, but if they are looking for sugar coated attention, I'm not the right person to lean on.



MrBackward
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27 Jan 2013, 12:57 am

My answer is very much the same as Einfari's with the only thing that I can add being that I hate melodramatics.
It's not like I cant cope with it or that its uncomfortable the simple thing is that I dont care so leave me alone and grow up.


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cozysweater
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27 Jan 2013, 1:11 am

I get very distressed by overly emotional behavior. I'll do weird things like clean the person's apartment/house or walk their dog or that kind of thing. I'm not great with the direct comforting but I can usually be valuable in other ways. (That doesn't sound weird in writing but usually I'm cleaning the kitchen while the person is crying, so it is pretty weird)

Oh, also: I don't have a lot of patience for things that I don't judge to be worthy of tears. A coworker once came to me in tears about the possible hiring of a person that they didn't like. That's not worthy of tears. That person didn't try to hurt them or nothin'. They were just annoying. And the coworker cried about it.
Not worthy of tears.



Joe90
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28 Jan 2013, 5:45 pm

I like to be there for friends that need help or are just going through a lot of emotional problems, but, like most people, I do get a little bit bored when their problems are easily solvable, but stretch on for months that turn into a year or so, and they don't really do anything about it. Yes, I know lacking confidence can make things worse, but it's no good harping on to other people about something too much.

I have a lot of problems, but I have found that leaning on to friends too much actually drives them away. Personally I don't mind people moaning, in fact I like to have a moan, but it's when people keep repeating themselves over and over and you just got to find different things to say to them each time.

My mum's got a brother who's wife left him nearly 5 years ago, and he's still harping on about it now. My mum was very devastated at first, and we were all there for him, and we all still feel sorry for him and want to be there for him, but even his teenage boys have gotten over it and just want to move on, but my uncle just can't get over it. I lost my closest cousin when I was 14, she got brainwashed by some control freak that her mum let come into our family and take control, and I haven't seen this cousin since. I was very emotionally disturbed when this happened, and I felt lost without her for about a year or so after that. But I soon had to get over her and move on and find new friends, and now I hardly think about her at all. I sometimes think of the nice memories I have when I was really close to her, but not much. I don't even miss her now. I miss the bus-driver who I have got a crush on more than I miss my cousin.


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auntblabby
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28 Jan 2013, 7:57 pm

some people need help in letting go of things. professional help. Rx help. maybe hypnosis would work on these folks.