Does it feel intrusive to have to talk?

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Hi Glider, I'm really glad this thread has helped. It's been great hearing that other people have similar feelings. It's only recently that I've been able to identity them for what they are - autistic traits - and to know it doesn't come naturally to me to share my thoughts and feelings because I'm on the spectrum. Recently one of my few friends told me over the phone she was pregnant. My inital thoughts were: "Oh my god, what do I say- I need to sound happy don't I - I need to tell her how great it is" etc etc. It wasn't that I wasn't happy for her as I was really happy inside, but I can't express those feelings. It really does feel like an act. Your method of srcipting our your feelings sound very much like I do, except I do it in my head before i speak.

Yes.

One side of the family had this type of culture.

So when I was asked about "how I felt" at school, it seemed weird and I just didn't see the point.

I talked to some family members about this and they said that I should be discrete and mind my own business. They thought that such questioning was intrusive too. They said that other people could use my emotions/weaknesses against me if I wasn't careful, and that I should play my cards close to my chest.

So in the end, I walked around the playground saying that my own emotions were my own personal business.

Okay.

So on the one hand I had my family saying that I should keep my feelings to myself and be stoic, but on the other hand, I had "helping" people at school suggesting that I should express my feelings.

No wonder why I was so confused as a little girl!

My family were bearing double standards expecting me to do what teachers asked apart from answer intrusive feeling questions.

This cultural contradiction has persisted throughout my life and I've asked my family about whether or not I should disclose my feelings to other people. They responded by saying that other people were "silly", deliberately trying to make fun of me or perhaps were from a different socioeconomic background.

None of these were the case of course.

All that I know was that my families views on self disclosure contradicted 80% of the populations, everything I'd been taught about relationship management from school and the media.

People have commented in a concerned way to me on this and have said that my views are "odd" or "cold". They say that I bottle things up unnecessarily, but my family says that I have to bottle my emotions and problems up so that I don't offend people. They also told me never to get involved with anyone else's relationship or emotional issues because it was "none of my business". They said that later in life I'd appreciate their advice more.

These are the views of my family that I was raised on. We are object and task orientated people.

same here.
with some people I feel like all my words are being forced out and it doesn't feel natural for me, unless they're my close friend