do autists feel lonely?

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Joined: 3 Feb 2006
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22 Sep 2008, 9:39 am

Sometimes. Not constantly; in fact, not usually.

My social needs are met well enough by social contact 1-2 times a month. I'm just a liiitle introverted.

But I do feel lonely if I don't get that; and I do think that not being able to discuss things with people on forums would be annoying to me. I don't really form relationships online; but discussion helps me think about subjects.

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Funaho
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22 Sep 2008, 9:43 am

serenity wrote:

I have an aspie friend that described loneliness as a "deep soul isolation". I loved that description. It's a kind of disconnect that most will not ever understand. The needing people, but unable to connect, except the few, and far between times when a connection happens.

Wow that description is absolutely PERFECT. So perfect, that it actually makes me sad just reading it. Probably the single most frustrating thing about my life is I can't make anyone else understand that.

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ToughDiamond
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22 Sep 2008, 10:28 am

Quote:

It's a daily struggle to connected to my husband, and to be honest, it takes a lot of work on both our parts.

I think partners are usually the hardest of all people to stay connected to, though they should be the easiest. Anybody else, you get breathing space. The commitment is lighter, the stakes are lower, and losing one, though often very painful, is nothing compared to the loss of a good partner. Main thing is to hang on in there and just keep working at it.

Quote:

when I am able to feel that I am connected to that aspect of life, I am not lonely whether there are people around or not.

I envy you that. I know of people who head off into the countryside alone and just sit there and feel part of it all. I can feel some connection by doing that, and I'm one hell of a "lone wolf," but for me the picture isn't really complete if I can't share it with somebody.

aspiegirl2
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22 Sep 2008, 2:21 pm

I feel lonely sometimes, even if I'm around other people, even friends. Sometimes I think it's because I don't feel nearly as included as other people. Some people think that just because I'm alone a lot of the time that I like being alone all the time. It was more so in high school, but now that I'm in college it's less so. However, it still happens to me. Sometimes I think that it's because of my lack of empathy, that I'm not able to understand what people are thinking. Sometimes I can be too concerned about what others think of me (as in if they dislike me, and therefore don't want to be around me as much). I tend to over analyze things, and then get a totally twisted picture of why I think people aren't naturally wanting to hang around me. Anyways, just my own theory as to why I feel lonely sometimes.

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22 Sep 2008, 2:27 pm

aspiegirl2 wrote:

that's me to a tee

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anna-banana
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22 Sep 2008, 3:04 pm

I hardly ever feel lonely. in fact, I'm not entirely sure if I ever *really* do... I'm very introvert even though I have good social skills. I'd swop them for any artistic talent at any time though.

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Magique
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22 Sep 2008, 3:30 pm

I do feel lonely, even though I have a partner. The kind of deep connection I need with another person is hard to come by. It's hard to lower my barriers to achieve that connection, even with people who might be capable of connecting. Not all are.

Who_Am_I
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23 Sep 2008, 12:59 am

I am virtually incapable of feeling lonely.

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kleodimus
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23 Sep 2008, 3:45 am

i always feel alone.

ToughDiamond
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23 Sep 2008, 5:16 am

Quote:

I do feel lonely, even though I have a partner.

That must be hard for your partner as well, if he/she is anything like me. To have a relationship and yet be unable to kill their loneliness :cry:

But maybe I'm just projecting my own experiences inappropriately. So often I despair of my nurturing skills, I don't know why anybody ever stays with me. But then, I'm sure love is never like a Hollywood movie.

Quote:

I am virtually incapable of feeling lonely.

I've had times like that. But I was always suspicious of it, and feel strangely grateful that I can feel it and recognise it these days.

Glencannon
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23 Sep 2008, 9:50 am

Funaho wrote:

I don't know if there are "more" but I do know that I'm lonely to a depth that I can't even express in words and that nobody in my life seems able to understand. :/

This

Funaho
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23 Sep 2008, 2:46 pm

Glencannon wrote:

Funaho wrote:

I don't know if there are "more" but I do know that I'm lonely to a depth that I can't even express in words and that nobody in my life seems able to understand. :/

This

This what?

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Xanderbeanz
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23 Sep 2008, 4:48 pm

i forget sometimes that other people are going through similar things to me, have probably shared similar emotions throughout their lives...and if i can remember that and hold onto it, i could probably start to feel less isolated/on my own x

NeantHumain
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23 Sep 2008, 5:24 pm

Check out the Love and Dating section to see how lonely many of us are, especially romantically!

Greyhound
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23 Sep 2008, 5:35 pm

Loborojo wrote:

Does an idiot savant feel lonely?

What do you mean by an idiot savant?

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Loborojo
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23 Sep 2008, 5:52 pm

Greyhound wrote:

Loborojo wrote:

Does an idiot savant feel lonely?

What do you mean by an idiot savant?

someone like Rain Man

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Your Aspie score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

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