Is it possible not to care what other people think?

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There's a fine line between caring for other's people's needs, having respect for other human beings as such, and being so utterly preoccupied with the opinions others have of you (which you may/may not have any control over) that you let the hate and contempt they have towards you and what you do destroy all the good that you have. If I'm doing something as a service to others and my livelihood depends on how well they show their appreciation for what I do, then yes, I should be concerned with what they think because I want to teach/help/entertain them. I want to do good work, I want to sell things I've made, and I can't do good work or sell products if I'm not at all concerned with what it is people want or need. I'm not a jerk and I don't want to be a jerk to other people. I'm willing to accept feedback from people who I know I can trust to tell me if I'm being a jerk and kindly remind me not to do whatever anymore. But that's accepting that people I know and trust want to help me just like I'd want to help others.

There are other people who hate me, hate what I do, and they'll say I'm a jerk no matter how hard I try to please them. I don't know if it's their own insecurities they're dealing with, tendencies towards contemptuous attitudes for people who are a bit "different," jealousy, or what, but I know I cannot help them and I don't waste my time trying. Haters gonna hate. I don't let that bother me.

I believe in being a good person, and doing good things for other people, though admittedly a lot of this is because people used to praise me and do good things for me when I was younger, and I often feel that I haven't given back as much as I have received, like I have a debt to pay of sorts. When I was younger I didn't care so much and I almost sort of expected people to put me on a pedestal, but then I eventually realized that things don't work that way. I often feel quite down on myself for not doing enough good things, for not being generous enough, for not being enough of a "hero", etc, despite the fact that people say that I'm too generous sometimes and that I let myself be a doormat.

It depends on what you mean by caring. You can be aware of what people think without having that affect your mood or anything. I think that's where the line should be.

I don't care what others think about my differences and my AS, but I do care whether people think I'm a sweet, caring person or not.

Sure I care about what other people think of me. But I have learned there are often bigger priorities. A big one is not destroying myself, which I would do if I tried to please everybody. On the other hand totally not trying to please people would make my life excruciatingly difficult. .