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Do you ever feel like you might not have AS?

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Verdandi
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18 Mar 2011, 7:45 pm

blank_page wrote:
Wouldn't this be the case for most Aspies -- that eventually they'd realise that most people have no interest in their interests (or their take on those interests) and not bother?

Or on the other side of the same coin, that the person the Aspie is talking to would probably have nothing to contribute to the Aspie's expansive knowledge of a subject and so what's the point of conversation?


I worked this out approximately 8-9 years ago. Ultimate realization may have been delayed by most of my socialization in the 90s being around people with the same interest I had.



Apple_in_my_Eye
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18 Mar 2011, 10:52 pm

blank_page wrote:
The thing I don't understand, is that it might have taken me just over 20 years, but I eventually realised that not many people are interested in what I have to say or that they think I'm unfashionably enthusiastic. (As a sad side-note, this realisation changed me from an optimistic and outgoing kid to a withdrawn and pessimistic adult.)

Wouldn't this be the case for most Aspies -- that eventually they'd realise that most people have no interest in their interests (or their take on those interests) and not bother?

My mother monologued at people about her interests into her 40's. She eventually figured out that it tended to bore people, but it obviously took a long time. I think part of it is getting so caught up in the rich, internal world of an interest that it leads to not noticing (or having the processing resources to notice) that the other person in the external world is getting bored. And/or there is the pressure/endorphin-rush of explaining part of an interest which seems (IME) independent of whether the other person is really listening (or even there -- I do it in my head at times with imaginary people).

Ironically, I think that my mother's not realizing that until 40 helped me figure out how annoying that could be (at around age 11).



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19 Mar 2011, 12:36 am

I figured out that people don't care what I have to say a long time ago. I think I was around 10ish, give or take a few years. As soon as I realized that it annoyed people, I nearly stopped talking to anyone at all. And people wonder why I hardly ever talk. Well, if you actually cared about what I have to say, I just might talk more.



samuraiBSD
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19 Mar 2011, 12:42 am

SammichEater wrote:
I figured out that people don't care what I have to say a long time ago. I think I was around 10ish, give or take a few years. As soon as I realized that it annoyed people, I nearly stopped talking to anyone at all. And people wonder why I hardly ever talk. Well, if you actually cared about what I have to say, I just might talk more.


That was my experience as well. Early report cards used to mention that I couldn't stop talking about a small range of topics in alarming depth, then after a while, all mention of speech ended. I didn't start talking again until college.