Anyone else constantly feel like they irritate others?

Post Reply New Topic

I've had a few experiences in my past where I would be blabbing at/joking around with someone, and not realize that I was annoying them until they basically blew up at me. The most notable instance being once when I was in my early teens. I was obsessed with the original Final Fantasy for NES to the point that I carried the strategy guide to school with me every day and drew Black Mages all over everything. I talked about it non-stop to my best (read "only") friend to the point that he turned around and screamed "I DON'T CARE!" into my face one day, after which we pretty much ceased to be friends. Before that, I had no idea he was even irritated.

I've had numerous, less traumatic incidents since then, and eventually made the decision to not talk about my obsessions with most people. I also started reading "quiet" as "annoyed", so that now, when I talk to people and they don't smile or laugh or make some other obvious sign of interest, I worry that they're irritated or angry with me. I pause occasionally when having conversations with friends or family to ask if they're okay or if I'm boring them, which is apparently annoying in itself.

Does anyone else do this, or at least worry constantly about inadvertently annoying/offending people?

I am pretty sure that I frequently annoy people this way. The only reason I am not entirely sure is because they don't tell me about their annoyance. I can tell when they try to walk away from me, but by that time, they are already very annoyed. So if someone tries to walk away from me, that is a sign that I should stop talking to them and definitely not follow them. There was a time when I didn't know this information, so I would follow them, even into the men's bathroom, because I was not paying attention to where they were going. Another sign is if they declare that they have to go to the bathroom. The unfortunate thing is that I can figure out that I have annoyed someone way after the fact, but in the moment, I can never remember to worry about annoying them. Also, me asking someone questions for more specific information apparently feels like drilling to them.

And people also don't like it when you ask them if they are bored, because they can't answer "Yes", unless they know you very well. My mother has no problem telling me to shut up, for example.

I've been annoying people since I was born. I seem to have a real knack for it. The bad thing is I never know what I did or said was wrong. It would be nice if someone would explain what thing I said or did that annoyed them instead of making me try to figure it out on my own. (I never do.)

Yeah, I feel like/I've been told constantly that I do this type of stuff quite often. People just get annoyed at me for talking about stuff they don't care about (then again they talk about stuff I don't care very much about also) or my mannerisms or awkwardness and won't tell me in a constructive manner what I'm doing wrong, etc.

So a lot of the time, I won't "hang out" with people for this reason, that I'll annoy them or they don't really actually want to be around me, and are doing it out of a mix of pity, obligation or ulterior motives. So as such, I'm OK and quite outgoing with random people in public at like Walmart or something, but with my "friends" I find it very hard. It's not really like "anxiety" I have about it, in the classic sense. I could just not care at all and ramble on all day to them until they hate me, but then I'd be a kind of bad friend if I do that. Then again, the same friends annoyed by me also get like concerned when I'm not "hanging out" so I again do not win.

Oh well.

Yeah. I gather that people don't like it when I ask if they're bored. I used to do this thing for a while where whenever someone was quiet, I felt as though I had to make them talk so I would basically spout nonsense or just say whatever came into my mind (which is pretty much the same thing as spouting nonsense). That doesn't go over very well either.

Generally, my family just interrupts me when they get tired of what I'm blabbing about. My dad usually just listens. He says listening to me ramble is soothing. I guess I'm like one of those white noise machines, only instead of making the sounds of the rainforest or a waterfall, I just blather about antique cameras and make MST3K references.

Yes, stuff like this happens to me sometimes. I have had people suddenly walk away, or turned away from them while talking to them, and still talking, turned back to find they had left, and I was talking aloud to no one. Also, family members sometimes get annoyed with me when I go on about something. This has naturally led to my drawing even more into myself, and to talking less with people. Then, my family gets mad at me for not keeping in touch with them, and for not interacting more with neighbors and strangers! AAAAAHHHHH!! !! ! I can't win on this one. I am now a hermit by choice, but do try to keep in some touch with my relatives, and do talk to others when necessary, but as little as possible.


If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

My mother used to tell me that I "irritate" people and I've had people literally go to sleep on me while I ramble. I appreciate the ones who like me anyway. )

I do. Just by existing. It's perhaps a self-esteem thing in my case. I probably don't get close enough to people for them to be irritated in the first place.

Can start out with saying I love Crow from MST3K? Like, he's my favorite robot ever.

And I know I irritate people because they don't hesitate to tell me.

I can irritate people inadvertently. Not all the time, but sometimes.

One of the problems is that I don't pick up on the subtle hints that someone is slowly getting irritated. The restlessness, the "tight" smile, the subtle verbal and non verbal cues. It is only after I have somewhat irritated people and they tell me (or a designated person to speak for everyone) that I am irritating and what it is that is causing the irritation.

I wish I could just pick it up myself, like a full NT. Sigh....