Anyone ever feel like..

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your friends and the people you see only have you around because they pity your social awkwardness? Or that you're annoying your friends because you're becoming a little bit too needy?
Feeling like that now. Feeling a bit low and lonely. Everything's gone a bit rubbish since everyone has started university. Sigh.

I often feel that I'm pushing away my friends with my neediness, my depressive moods, and my refusal to want to do social activities.

No. I have no friends and push away most people. As for the few who put up with me, I have a theory that they put up with my crap only because I'm the most honest and genuine person they know, and they find that refreshing in a world where everyone else is lying and pretending, even when I'm annoying them.

I'm not sure...

I never liked to show how weak I am in public(emotionally sensitive!), so I sort of hold this "uncaring" and "strict" face.

But since I can't read people easily, I completely doubt I'd fool anyone. Almost everyone in my family always mentions how nice and caring I am.

Pity... maybe. But unless I ask, I'd just be guessing. So I don't really dwell on it because I don't really care.

I have felt with some people that they are only being nice to me because they pity me. I have had friends say that they notice that I'm alone or am not integrating or socializing or whatever and that makes them want to befriend me - but the friendships never last.

I have also had a friendship completely disintegrate because she thought I was too needy. Since then, I've tried to disconnect the emotional part of friendship and just try and approach it logically.

The only people who I feel like I have an honest friendship with are on the spectrum, or otherwise different.