Is it normal for me to feel very superior and grandiose to people who are intellectually disabled? I am very intelligent in most of my areas, even though I have Specific Learning Disorder.
I once though I was so intelligent that I had Delusion of grandeur in middle school. In high school, my delusion became much worse that I bullied my friends for not thinking like me, I made enemies and no longer had friends. When I started to take medications, I apologized for my behavior and I became friends with them again.
I feel like a god to people with Intellectual Disability.
I am sorry that I was ableist on myself and to other people I thought were lower-functioning than me. I felt even more superior to people with Intellectual Disabilities, because I am very intelligent. It scares me.
I hope that being intelligent is normal and I hope I don't have traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, because I felt so Intelligent that I once had Delusion of grandeur and made fun of others who I thought were less intelligent than me, even though I have Learning Disability myself.
I feel ashamed of myself for making fun of others, I just once had fixed, false that I was very intelligent when I was fifteen years old.
I developed some traits of grandiosity and fear that people would call me "ret*d". I was once bullied for being learning disabled. After that I did not want to be associated with people who are Intellectually Disabled. I was afraid of the truth and lived in my fantasies of success, beauty and power.
27 Jun 2021, 6:04 pm
