paralysing aversions towards certain people

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I hope the wording of my title was correct...anywhoo..

in the members only forum, i have a rant about a neighbor I have who really bothers me. And this thread is sort of a spinoff of that rant...

(here is the rant)... http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt46445.html

Are there ever people who...affect you in such a way (with or without apparent reason)...that you find it impossible to deal with them?

Occasionally certain people will come along who I will have very strong aversions towards...I do not want to speak to them or interract with them...i get a strong stress response by their presence...and it causes me to behave impolitely towards them, and i don't really know how to control it.

(having trouble articulating this at the moment)

The neighbor I rant about in my other thread...when he speaks to me, I want to put my fingers in my ears. When he is near me, I want him to go away.....or I will run off and hide if I can...his presence causes me alot of distress.

I have reasons not to like this person...but there are some people i have had similar aversions to for reasons less obvious.

I was wondering if anyone else here has a similar tendancy...and how you handle it...or if you have as much of a difficulty handling it as I do.

My future mother in law. She's a total witch. We have nothing in common. We are both from completely different backgrounds. She hates me. Even the first time I met her, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE. Her eyes, are, wow. Inexplicable. But they eat a little of my soul every time I look into them.

How do I deal? I'm sorry, I have no clue. I just do. I just try to remind myself that I don't want to live my life around her, but rather live my life regardless of weather or not she's around. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. You just need to not let others own you in that way.

Yes, I can relate to seemingly illogical aversions. Not based on behaviour, since I sometimes have an aversion to someone within a few minutes of meeting them, and can hardly claim to know them. I guess that there are probably triggers, I'm just not aware what they are. Could be that they have a physical characteristic or mannerism similar to someone who bullied me in my childhood. I deal with it by being *nice* (polite and smile). Sometimes, the aversion will go away, sometimes they will behave in a way that entrenches it. When that happens, I use the avoidance technique

All of them.

Yipes! that sucks about your future mother-in-law...I know the type...I think...

um..what's worse is that I am aware that the my negative reaction towards said person/people only serves to perpetuate the cycle of negative energy and gives power to his ability to intimidate me. There are things that I believe the person (in said rant) does on purpose to drive me insane....and then insists that he has never done anything to deserve my ire..(if that is the right word)

for example...he will sidle up to the bar and just lean there....breathing audibly....the sound of his breathing like that combined with his creepy presence makes me hunch over and put my hands over my ears....to the naked eye, it is just a guy leaning on the bar...to me, (the bartender) it is pure torture.

If he were to try, i would totally deck him!(kidding...i don't know what I would do)..and don't get me started on the people who are insistant on offering unwanted physical contact...yeeps....

most people I know who are on congenial terms with me know I am uncomfortable with being hugged. They also respect the fact that I need my space.

Once, a girl (who just so happened to fall into the category of someone I am uncomfortable with..but have tried to work on)...tried to kiss me while I was asleep on the couch...and I had a mini-meltdown...I started yelling at her..got really upet...felt aftershocks for (days)..I think...

ironicly...sometimes it can be AS-ish people who are often unaware of physical boundaries and might invade my space like that....also another very AS-ish fellow who performs at my place (we get so many) is...um...how-you-say is very insistant on hugs.
I will tolerate the hugs to be polite, because he does not bother me too much as a person...(mostly because he generally keeps his distance)... but he gets to be very touchy-feely with alot of the females and once, fairly recenly he grabbed my bum...and said that it was instead of a hug ...That threw me for an unpleasant loop...but I tolerated it because he is one of those very gregariously outgoing-type AS/HFA'a and was apparently...(as far as I know) oblivious to the inapropriatness (sorry for my spelling)....of his behaviour..

but if "beer mooch"..or some other similar were to do that...I woud have no tolerance

but I am straying from the subject...

Being social is sort of part of my job (helping run SHFL)..I am constantly pushed beyond my social comfort zone, but still have a limited capacity to cope.

Anyone who chews gum. I have to leave right away and not look
at them or I feel really angry and creeped out. No matter how hard
I try I seem to have no control over this. It's a mystery.

I think the people I have the worst aversions toward are those who I can't "read". Not knowing someone's motivation/intention makes me very nervous.

I have a strong aversion to good-looking people, both guys and girls. In fact, there's a gym that my friend once tried to convince me to join, but when walked in, I felt uncomfortable that very second. Every person in the place looked good: people working out, front desk employees, floor employees, etc. It was a very uncomfortable, intimidating place. I never went back.

One-on-one interactions with good-looking people are a little easier. I can handle interacting with them, but it takes me half-hour to an hour to start feeling comfortable. Sometimes, if they're really nice to me, I warm up to them a little quicker.

I must say I definitely have the same tendency. I don't think I should state the cultures & generations towards whom I have aversions, as this got me into trouble on another forum 2 months ago. How I deal with it...I just stay out of public. I find it very easy to do. When I want or need something other than groceries or meds, I just order it.

When public places are inevitable at times, I am very distressed while I'm there. I get so mad when strangers approach me. I tell them to "f*** off" cuz "leave me alone" never seems to work.

yes, my brain clenches like it has been turned to stone