Feel like giving up treatment

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My psychiatrist has decided to increase my sertraline (Zoloft) again and I don’t like that. I’m always having to change and adjust doses of SSRI’s until they just stop working and I have to start all over again. Plus, they don’t help my anxiety. I have beta blockers and they’re okay - not great but better than nothing.

What annoys me is that my current psychiatrist (they keep swapping which is annoying) only suggested medication and didn’t seem to know what to do with me. I don’t see much point in taking these meds anymore if I can never reach full remission or at least function adequately enough to hold down a job. I don’t think I’m going to get better to be perfectly honest.

With that being said I have enough reason to know that this could be the depression talking so I’m stuck in this limbo until something changes. I know the meds take time to take effect so I’m not really sure what to do right now. How am I supposed to invest in my treatment when I don’t think life will get better? It would be a lot easier to believe in Santa Claus, honestly.

I totally relate, MindBlind.

I took those f'n things for 2 years. Kept "trying" a new one to the maximum dosage, and when there was no change in how I felt, I would try another. Gained and gained and gained weight until I was 60 pounds above my normal weight, despite exercising the whole 2 year period, and the psychiatrist seemed not to notice the weight gain, but every other physician I saw was sure to mention it and insult me with the "fat, female, forty . . ." nastiness they like to spew at you.

I tried to tell them that my whole life I've been pretty skinny, but couldn't seem to quit gaining weight with the psychiatric medications, and was advised to exercise.

It got so bad that I thought I was imagining exercising, and asked the husband, who exercised with me, on multiple occasions if he remembered that we were exercising together. He always agreed with me that we were. And he confirmed that I had always been pretty skinny before starting those medications even if we didn't exercise.

So I didn't think insulting me was very helpful. But I'm not a doctor.

To make matters worse, the medications were causing me this horrible side effect where every week or so I would have extremely loose stools so suddenly that I couldn't make it to the rest room in time. I asked the psychiatrist about it, and she said that was not a side effect of those medications, even though the info. sheet I got from the pharmacy said it was, and said you should talk to your doctor about it if it happened. So because she claimed it wasn't a side effect of the medication, I thought I was imagining that, too, and I just adjusted my schedule so that I stayed home as much as possible, and if I had to go out I often avoided eating at all, just in case.

As it turns out, what was happening was that it's very important to take these medicines at the exact same time every day, and if you don't, you can have this symptom of watery stools the next day. I never associated a late or missed dose with the digestive troubles, because they were happening on two different days. It wasn't until I asked Dr. Google that I got that information, and remembered someone I had met years and years ago (long before I had taken that kind of medicine) who took the same type of medicine, and had told me he had sudden loose stools when he didn't take it on time, and it was embarrassing to him to have an accident.

As it would be for anyone.

I had a little improvement after that, as I made a much greater effort to take the medicine at the exact same time every day. However, I think that I should have paid more attention to how my body was reacting, and stopped the medicine completely. I felt pressured to "be compliant", though, so I just did what I was told.

Luckily for me, after two years, my body rebelled. My cholesterol and sugar tests came back elevated, and the psychiatrist decided to take me off of the medications.

Then I stopped seeing her.

I lost about forty pounds very fast, even though I didn't change my diet, and I exercised the same amount.

Shortly after, I wound up having to have my gall bladder removed, and the staff I talked to before surgery said that rapid weight gain and loss can cause gall bladder problems. (I think I always had gall bladder issues, but the medications worsened them to the point of needing surgery).

Not too long ago, I thought I'd try seeing a psychiatrist again. Even though I told him that I had gotten very sick on those medicines, and even though I told him I was taking 5-htp daily, he wrote me a prescription for the same kind of medicine that had caused me problems in the past on the very first visit I had with him. I wanted to try to be compliant, so I got them and took one, and was very sick for about two days afterward with the same, familiar digestive distress. Two days of being sick from one pill!

I called the pharmacy, asked them if it was wrong to take a medication with tryptophan if I was already taking 5htp, and they said yes. I shouldn't do that. So I stopped the medication, and cancelled my appointment with that psychiatrist, because he's careless, and that's dangerous to my physical health.

I won't ever take those medicines again. Looking back, I consider myself lucky that it was my gall bladder, and not some vital organ that was completely destroyed.

There isn't a lot that helps me with anxiety and depression, but I'm still trying to figure it out. Recently I've been learning about how blood sugar swings can contribute to anxiety and depression, so I'm trying to pay more attention to diet, hoping that if I get it right, I can improve the anxiety and depression.

It's disappointing, actually, that the medicines didn't fix me. Like you, I hoped I would feel better enough to work. And so many people feel better taking them. But I guess not everyone responds to medicine the same way.

I also can relate to you being annoyed with the doctors swapping all of the time. I didn't get that with my psychiatrist or therapist excepting that they both had to take a leave of absence to have babies, but they came back! I've had that happen all the time with my general practitioners, though, and my records often disappear with them, and it's so frustrating it makes you want to punch someone in the face.

When you don't feel well, all the extra little unnecessary hassles seem like a huge obstacle.

I agree with you that just taking medications seems to be the focus of psychiatrists, and they don't seem very observant, or to really have anything particularly helpful to offer, otherwise.

But I'm not a doctor, though.

I hope that you find something that works for you. I think it's worth trying the medication, as long as you're not seeing any physical deterioration. But the investment was always a big concern in my house. Even with insurance, it ends up costing a lot in co-pays, and I would skimp on appointments as much as possible, due to the financial burden, and the lack of improvement. If you don't improve, you can't get a job, and the financial burden doesn't seem worth it.

Yup. I have about as much faith in psychiatric solutions as I do in Santa Claus. Well said.

Have you tried Busapr for your anxiety MindBlind? It's specifically for anxiety & not a beta blocker. Unlike betas it needs to be taken regularly for a while to notice the full effect like antidepressants do. It helps my anxiety alot & I haven't really noticed side-effects but some people notice em. Buspar can be taken with lots of psych meds including most antidepressants & betas. It's sometimes used to help increase the efficiency of antidepressants. I'm suggesting it since you mentioned that the betas don't work great & was thinking that maybe if your anxiety is alittle better you might not be quite as discruaged about treatment.

Hello all! Sorry I’ve been MIA lately.

Thus far the treatment plan is currently to stick to the increased antidepressants and mayyyybe see a CPN from time to time. My mood is stable and I’m functioning more, I guess. I suppose my earlier pessimism about medication might not have been all that warranted (and probably a sign that my depression was worse than I realised). Perhaps if the current meds prove to be ineffective then we might introduce other categories of medication to the agenda. I’m also considering switching my ADHD meds to something non-stimulant based as I strongly suspect that my Concerta has affected my anxiety levels, though I think it would be wise to first get the dose decreased before making any hasty decisions.

As for psychological treatment, I have less faith in getting adequate access to consistent treatment. Most of the therapists I have seen either don’t specialise in my specific conditions or they are only able to administer a generic, Tory-Budget-Approved CBT that only lasts 6-8 sessions (if you’re lucky to even get on the waiting list, that is). So even the most qualified and diligent therapist is limited in their resources. So to Clakker, I have been intrigued by your point about DBT and have been doing a bit of research on my own. I don’t think a book will fix me but I found some literature about CBT specifically for adult ADHD as well as DBT skills that I could practice in my own life. Afterall, my previous therapists gave me worksheets and homework - why should I wait for them to give it to me? I guess it can’t hurt as long as I don’t start believing pseudoscience.